Carl Loughlin | LoveSwiped / 2016

on a search

by Douglas Messerli

 

Carl Loughlin (screenwriter and director) LoveSwiped / 2016 [12.35 minutes]

 

Seeking out partners of Grindr, Mr. Loveswiped (Carl Loughlin) meets up with quite a number of undesirable lovemates, the first who’s been out all night the night before, is terribly self-centric, and falls so sick with stomach growls during their encounter that he has to escape to the loo. The second date, Mr. Single (Paul Hodgkinson), is just fine until suddenly he spots his boyfriend in the very same restaurant. The third, Mr. Keen (Francis Tucker) is at least an appreciate man, who has been carefully following our hero, Loveswiped, on Instagram and Twitter and even a fake account of Facebook. He not only knows what our sad hero’s favorite drinks are, but knows that he bought flowers and chocolates the day before, and has already imagined himself married off to our confused Grindr follower.

     His next date is Mr. France (David Tudor), who as might be expected speaks only French, and who grows furious when Loveswiped cannot understand a word his says, at which point Mr. French describes him as a whore, “putain!” one of the very favorite of French obscenities.

     His next date, Mr. Romantic (Joseph Gordon) is so intellectually engaged in the subject that he has hardly any time at all to play the role. But he certainly does know the literary, mythological, and spiritual territory of romanticism. He seems closest, however, to his mother with whom he interrupts his endless conversations with our now desperate hero, to have what a appears will be a long and very engaged conversation.

      Loveswiped’s 6th date is with Mr. Straight (Simon Walker), already a problem one presumes before we even see him. Mr. Straight immediately apologizes for being late, but “the girlfriend” has been asking a lot of questions. Mr. Straight predictably announces that although he has a lot of “boyfriends” he’s not gay. “Spaghetti’s straight until it gets wet dear.”

      On to “Mr. Tubby,” (Bobi Blake) who as he name suggests is just that, a working man who makes “Mr. Straight” look like a queen. He wonders if he looks fatter than his profile figure, and poor Loveswiped, being the honest sort has to admit that he has “put on” a little weight. How much? Ten pounds seems to be a little much for “Tubby,” who is even quite offended when our hero mentions his Grindr name.

     If Tubby has been a terrible mistake, Mr. Perfect (Christopher Duncan) is perhaps even worse. Although the all-American boy from Phoenix looks perfect, his real name, so he claims, is Justin Cider, a name that always results in the pun “just inside her,” which when perceived he has to leave, knowing now that he is no longer perfect.

      “Mr. Naughty” (Jaimie Lester) is basically an alcoholic who is ready for any naughty thing, including being quite a bit older than his profile picture. But he’s most certainly ready for an encounter. The problem is that finally Mr. Loveswiped has grown sick of it all, sick of people, so he tells him to his face, like Mr. Naughty. Apologetic, Loveswiped backtrack, asking if his new friend comes he often. “Not often. But I do know where I’d like to come, somewhere darker, warmer, and much juicier than this.” We at least have appreciate his sexual honesty, which hardly any of the other possessed. But the fact that he likes his men covered in leather, does put off Loveswiped.

      We’re on, finally, to Mr. Ex (Benji Taylor), a truly lovely man with whom, it appears our poor Loveswiped has truly been in a relationship for 10 years. He might like to get back together, and we truly would love to see the two make up and go off together. But Loveswiped now feels, after all of his strange experiences, that he might truly be better off alone. Loveswiped is fed up with dates and apps and just wants some time to be himself.

     But Ex questions whether he’d be willing to bet back together. No, he claims, the relationship is over. He just wants to go home. That is until he calls over the waiter (Danny Smith) whose genuinely open smile charms him into taking a chance all over again.

     If it were me, I’d have gone back with Mr. Ex. But that’s the problem with young men on the search. They’re always on the search.

     For British director Loughlin the search is evidently what gay life is all about.

 

Los Angles, June 18, 2024

Reprinted from My Queer Cinem Review (June 2024).