about last night
by Douglas Messerli
Alice Oseman (screenplay), Euros Lyn (director) Heartstopper “Secret” / 2022 [30 minutes] [Season 1, Episode 4]
Episode 4 picks up
immediate with Nick’s very wet reentry in Charlie’s heart. How could you not
love someone who had run to your door through a rain storm to tell you how much
he truly loves you—especially when, in your bedroom he finally kisses you full
on and admits that he’s sorry about last night, given that he was going through
a “full gay crisis.” Nick admits he may need some time to figure everything
out.
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Surely at that age, 16, I might have needed more than “a little” time to come
to terms with a world in which previously I’d never imagined myself. And the
inevitable question hovers over their relationship, Nick wondering whether or
not at school they can….Charlie finishes his sentence, “Keep this a secret.” As
hundreds of such coming out gay films have revealed, secrets are difficult in a
world of quick-minded peers who want to get to know everything about their
fellow students in a manner that might remind one of the newspaper paparazzi.
And
surely even that secret will be difficult when your lover, Charlie, chases you
down that wet British street to kiss you goodbye.
We
can almost guess the results. Even the very next day Imogen has recognized that
there is something “different” about her “boyfriend.” It must be his hair, she
declares.
In
fact, as Charlie returns to his classroom seat the next morning beside his now
lover, there is a remarkable change on both their faces, as Charlie’s “Hi” is
reflected in Nick’s now equally infectious smile. Anyone with a careful eye can
see these two individuals are joyfully happy sharing the same space.
Meanwhile,
in the neighboring girl’s school Tara openly kisses Darcy in front of Elle, who
wonders if she is now officially “the third wheel.”
Something
has definitely changed since that dreadful night-time party at Harry Greene’s
mansion.
Both
Charlie and Nick now escape to Mr Ajayi’s art room, to where Charlie escaped
during the previous year’s bullying. Nick is truly a changed man, admitting
that he’s basically happy to have abandoned all of his own friends who spent
their time at lunch “chucking stuff” at people. But Nick also notes that Ajayi
was giving him an “evil eye,” which Charlie explains was probably a result of
the teacher confusing him with Ben, who wanted to keep everything a
secret—which suddenly makes him realize that he has once more entered into the
thicket of what secrecy is all about, the lies, the confusion, the possible
isolation…whatever. Charlie tries to make it clear that this time there is a
big difference, but even Nick perceives the problem.
And
meanwhile, Charlie’s having difficulty with his tackling on the rugby field.
Fortunately, the female coach (Chetna Pandya) tries to give him some advice
about gay boys who were also treat in sports.
And
meanwhile…the plot gets thicker as the gossip about Tara and Darcy’s dancing
kisses spreads like wildfire through their girl’s academy. What does a “secret”
in such a world mean? And, of course, once the serpent-figure Imogen demands to
know the truth about Tara and Darcy’s relationship, she insists that Nick
Nelson and she are a couple, which obviously disturbs Charlie’s friend Elle.
Elle declares herself as a lesbian, a very problematic statement since we know
she is transgender and Tao is obviously in love with her.
Things
are growing more difficult in Truham Grammar School as well when come of Nick’s
friends lob a football at Tao, who refuses to return it to Nick, instead
tossing it back to hit his head as Charlie’s lover walks off. In school all is
love and war, war mostly.
What
might happen also, Nick must fear, when Charlie announces all his friends—Toa,
Isaac, and Elle—are showing up to watch him play rugby. He assures Nick that
they won’t say anything, but secrecy is obviously becoming an increasingly
difficult proposition. And when Darcy and Tara also show up, Darcy hinting that
Charlie and Nick look “awfully coup-ley,” Nick finally begins to perceive just
how impossible secrecy is. “We’re totally platonic. Good friends,” the truly
honest Charlie lies.
In
a sense, the totally “out” world which Charlie and Nick inhabit is far more
difficult to negotiate than the utterly hidden world of my long-before era. Do
these kids even have a change to protect themselves for a few moments from what
others might soon define them as?
The
Truham competitors, St. John’s have a 14-point advantage against Truham’s 0, as
rain begins to fall. St. John’s team seem to be made up of adult rugby players,
as opposed to Truham’s boys.
Things
get worse as the score turns to a 35-point advantage, no one, particularly
Charlie’s friend being able to describe the mysterious rules of rugby. Charlie
finally attempts a tackle, but is hit hard by a St. John’s player, and is
carried off the field, the game called for heavy rain.
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Nick
comes to visit the injured Charlie, who apologizes for messing up their secret
life. Yet Nick can’t resist him, wiping away the blood from his nose and the
mud from his face, and almost expressing a more sincere apology about the
secrecy he’s required—until Isaac stumbles in with some antiseptic wipes.
“Isaac won’t say anything,” Charlie declares, which we well know having
observed that poor Isaac is a non-sexual “Ace.” More of that that later, we can
predict.
But
it temporarily alters Nick’s breakthrough realization, returning secrecy to
it’s necessary, if totally ineffectual, place. Even worse, he’s met with
Imogen, who in front of his teammates wonders whether or not he might want to
go out on a “date.” What’s a bi-boy, confused about everything, supposed to
say. But his agreement, witnessed by the literally “overlooking” Tao and Tara,
seals their conviction about how dangerous Nick is for their beloved friend
Charlie.
If
you haven’t yet guessed, I’m sold on this soap-opera.
Los Angeles, October 21,
2024
Reprinted from My
Queer Cinema blog (October 2024).
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