having everything to
do with all of us
by Douglas Messerli
Alejandro Ibarra (screenwriter and director) Safe
and Sound / 2015 [19 minutes]
Alejandro Ibarra’s 2015 short film, Safe
and Sound, begins with a kind of rehearsal being performed by a handsome
young gay man, Sam (Eddie Gutierrez), in preparation apparently for comments he
is soon to make to his mother Maggie (Candi Milo), sister Paula (Michelle
Prendes), and her husband, Diego (Cesar Sebastian):
“Mom everybody, thank you so much for coming.
I invited you here to tonight because no, no, no
no.”
“Hey guys guess what oh no, I can’t do it like
that.”
“You know what, life is just a journey filled
with obstacles and stupid speeches. God damn it...”
“Mommy, my heart, my life.”
Nothing seems to be working. We suspect that the young man is perhaps
gay and that what he’s about to confess to his family is that fact, all
substantiated by the return home of his companion, Daniel (Michael Gmur), who
kisses him, explains his lateness (he’s a teacher), and commiserates with Sam’s
nervousness about the upcoming event. “Look it doesn’t matter when you tell
them or how you tell them. It’s not going to be any less shocking or anything.”
Sam, who’s been cooking the dinner is also distressed that he has burned
the chicken and put another bird into the oven, meaning that dinner will be
late.
We
also sense another underlying issue with this couple when Daniel suggests that
it’s best to serve the meal first, “your people” respond better when they have
something in their stomachs. Sam responds that the statement is extremely
racist, but agrees with the sentiment nonetheless.
Apparently, we now realize not only this gay couple now needs to convey
whatever they are intending, but that the difference in their cultural
backgrounds makes it even more difficult.
In
short, Ibarra somewhat manipulates us into believing that this short film is
going to be the standard “coming out to the family” work, with possibly further
kerfuffles due to their cultural differences.
Enter, earlier than expected, the trio, pregnant sister, somewhat dense
brother-in-law, and the mother, who is obviously reticent about the entire
situation, while adoring and protective of her son. Sam explains that dinner
will be late since “The oven went a little crazy,” a description of the kitchen
appliance which more clearly describes his own state of mind.
Dan
is missing from this early scene, so we might wonder if he is purposely hiding
out until the news is conveyed, although the family seems to be cognizant that
Sam is sharing the stylish apartment with, if nothing else, a roommate.
The
family begins with the usual small talk, but even here there seems already to
be rising tensions. Maggie pushes forward with the details of family events:
“So let me ask you something you’re gonna ride with us to Lorena’s quinceanera
or you gonna take your own car? Also, I couldn’t get a plus one just so you
know.”
Sam’s response, “Couldn’t or didn’t want to?” hints at his mother’s
resistance to the inclusion of Daniel in the family events. And at this point
we begin to wonder if perhaps the family does perhaps know more about their son
and brother’s sexual life than we at first suspected.
The
conversation quickly flips back to the occasion. Why have they been invited?
Just as suddenly as there has been a change in focus, the mother puts it all
out on the table: is her son breaking up with “what’s his name?”
Both the derision in which she holds Daniel and the fact that we
suddenly recognize that she is quite aware that they have been in a
relationship, now puts Ibarra’s audience in the same position as Sam’s family
members. Although we now perceive Maggie’s hostility to her son’s gay partner,
we now have little clue of what kind of confession to which we are about to
play the role of voyeurs. Sam’s uncomfortableness suddenly creates a kind of
nervous expectancy within our minds as well.
As
if on cue, Daniel enters the room wondering, quite obviously, who’s breaking
up. He briefly kisses is “mother-in-law,” addressing her as Maggie, she coldly
replying “It’s Mrs. Gonzalez.”
Still seeking for answers for their being called together, his sister
Paula blurts out, quite in opposition to her mother, “Oh my God, you guys are
getting married,” an announcement of which her husband also approves, but
further upsets Maggie.
A
bit tired of playing a game like “20 questions,” Sam suddenly blurts out: “I
have cancer.”
The pause puts us all on edge, particularly
those of us who have lived through the worst of the AIDS decades.
“Cancer cancer?” asks the rather slow-minded Diego.
Sam, completely flummoxed by his brother-in-law’s ridiculous question is
forced to explain that his disease is skin cancer.
The family is briefly relieved. After all, that is often an easily
curable form of cancer, sometimes with just minor removal of the cancerous skin
patches, But their relief is short-lived as Daniel explains: “Sam is sick.”
Sam, however, returns to the positive in his assurance that he has a
“great” doctor who’s positive about the prognosis. “So I just have to start
treatment.”
I’m being specific here just to make clear that the radical alteration
that is about to occur is given context. For at the very next moment, like a
cobra which has been waiting to strike, Mrs. Gonzalez, pointing at Daniel,
hisses out the words: “This is because of you.”
Perhaps in our illusionary “post-AIDS” day these words seem utterly
illogical, which is how Daniel, Sam, and the others all treat it. Yet for those
of us who lived through that period, we comprehend that the kinds of cancers
caused by the full name of the disease, “acquired immunodeficiency syndrome”
focuses first on the acquisition of the ailment from another human being with
whom the victim has had sex. Maggie
clearly recalls the time when patients and their doctors were forced to link
their sexual partners with their own suffering.
For her, as she puts it to Daniel, “Ever since he met you his own life
has fallen apart. Everything that is
wrong with him is here right now.”
From the young teacher’s point of view, her accusations are utterly
without foundation. Is she trying to blame him for Sam’s cancer, he lashes
back, before reminding her of the many instances, evidently, of her
recriminations since the two young men first met. As he argues, she is afraid
of losing the power she has over her son. But she also has not yet completely
assimilated herself to her son’s homosexuality and his needs for a love other
than hers. And in that respect, the film is strangely connected to what we
first thought Sam was intending to confess.
Finally, Sam, unable to bear this new squabble between those who love
him demands for it all to stop. What is the very worst thing for a cancer
patient he demands someone tell him? Quieting down Daniel states the obvious:
“stress.”
During the melee, the chicken dinner has again burned up in the oven.
Diego and Paula joyfully call out for pizza and the family sits down at the
kitchen table to share the carry-in dinner, the soon-to-be mother Paula chowing
down on several slices of a Hawaiian version of the Italian favorite.
After a few moments of communal dining, Daniel’s seemingly racial
epithet seems to be a true assessment, as Maggie, turning to her son,
conciliatingly inverts the focus of her former charges against Sam’s lover:
“This has everything to do with us. This has everything to do with all of us.”
Focusing on Sam, she emotionally stammers: “I cannot lose you. I cannot lose
you.”
“And Daniel,” she continues, “I just want—”
Daniel interrupts her: “I know. Me too.”
Sometime after, the two are sitting on their bed, with Danny observing
“As weird as that was I would say it went surprisingly well.”
Sam
pulls a large tuft of his hair out. This will only be the beginning, he
indicates. We’ll shave your head, I bet you’d be stunningly beautiful as bald
man, suggest Daniel in an attempt to calm his lover.
But their fears are hard to contain. And Sam wonders about whether he
might still be loveable in his altered state. Daniel, who has been hiding a
gift for him, retrieves it: a ring, with Sam gradually realizing that he is
being asked to marry Danny.
This is a comedy, after all, not an AIDS-era drama. Sam joyfully says
yes before realizing: “Oh you know what? I guess we’re going to have to invite
my family over again to tell them what happened.” “I take my proposal back,”
Daniel laughs.
Los Angeles, November 18, 2020
Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog and
World Cinema Review (November 2020).
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