Friday, May 10, 2024

Mark Nickelsburg | Tide to Go / 2015 [fake commercial advertisement]

spotless

by Douglas Messerli

 

Mark Nickelsburg (director) Tide to Go / 2015 [31 seconds] [fake commercial advertisement]

 

In 2015 an ad that seemed to be from an upcoming Proctor & Gamble commercial advertisement made news across the nation.


      In the ad, a gay couple can be seen walking into a church about to be married. But a woman (Lynne Marie Stewart) stands in their way yelling “Offensive,” determined that they won’t dare “blemish the sanctity of marriage.”

      The two begin immediately to protest, but before they can even plead their rights, she has pulled out a Tide to Go “pen” and begins to white-out a stain in one of the men’s shirts. As she quickly makes the stain disappear, he asks his soon-to-be husband why he hadn’t noticed the spot.


      Their savior, meanwhile, having finished her duty, straightens the other man’s bow tie, moves aside and, almost winkingly, says “Carry on boys,” as they move forward to join the priest about to marry them.

      This ad clearly referenced the Rowan County, Kentucky municipal clerk, Kim Davis, who blocked gay marriages in her small town that same year.

      The ad went viral with over 400,000 views on Facebook, and now appears in a collation of Funny Gay Commercials. There is no evidence, however, that Nickelsburg ever succeeded in convincing Tide or Proctor & Gamble to purchase and run the ad. They did, however, produce a 2014 ad in Canada only which appears in my essays about films of that year.

       Tide evidently got this spot for free, leaving the Nickelsburg company Tiny Giant beached on the shores of good intentions.

 

Los Angeles, May 10, 2024

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2024).

Walter Ruttmann | Berlin: Die Sinfonie der Großstadt (Berlin: Symphony of a Metropolis) / 1927, USA 1928

city of ghosts

by Douglas Messerli

 

Karl Freund, Carl Mayer, and Walter Ruttmann (screenwriters), Walter Ruttmann (director) Berlin: Die Sinfonie der Großstadt (Berlin: Symphony of a Metropolis) / 1927, USA 1928

 

In the tradition of “city symphony” films such as Charles Sheeler and Paul Strand’s Manhatta (1921), Alberto Cavalcanti’s Rien que les heures (1926), Dziga Vertov’s Man with a Movie Camera (1929), Adalberto Kemeny’s São Paulo, Sinfonia de Metrópole (1929), and several other such works, Walter Ruttmann’s Berlin: Symphony of a Metropolis takes us through a day of that great city in a series of unconnected events that presumably emblematize life of the metropolis.


     Ruttmann’s work is particularly interesting in that it reveals a Berlin that only a few years later, after Hitler’s Germany became involved in World War II, would no longer exist, with about 30% of the former city leveled by Allied bombings.

     Yet Ruttmann’s work, unlike some of the others I named above, seems far from truly revelatory. While, for example, Vertov’s Kiev, filmed a year later, is a work literally heaving with human life and—because it is so clearly centered on its director hefting his camera into the most unlikely of situations—is a fairly comical work, Ruttmann’s city “celebration” seems a pretty dour affair, with few truly human interactions.

     The film begins with what might almost be described as one of its heroes, a train puffing across the countryside as it speeds early in the morning into the Berlin station. The city it portrays in the bleak gray dawn is a nearly desolate one, a city shuttered and closed, its vast 19th century brick and stone edifices almost suggesting that we have arrived in some fantastical outland from which human life has been obliterated. The ghost of the past is expressed through leaves and paper blowing out of the corners into the empty streets. Berlin, in short, begins as a rather grim affair.

     Before long, however, a few gates are opened, maids and nurses sweeping up around their workspaces or going about their way for early shopping appear. More trains arrive, bringing with them workers who exit en masse to find their ways to what appear as derelict work houses (some appearing to be as desolate as the now-abandoned factories in the badlands of the New Jersey suburbs of New York).


     The workers, who occasionally greet one another, for the most part walk forward somewhat like walking ghosts, at one point the camera catching a mass of workers rising up from the subway who remind one of the travelers of “certain half-deserted streets” of T. S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of Alfred Prufrock.”

     Soon after, the metal covers over small shops are pulled up, blinds are raised in apartment complexes, windows opened. What begins as avenues filled with horse-drawn carts soon become vast thoroughfares filled with another of Ruttmann’s unspoken heroes, streetcars. Cars come out of unseen driveways and mix with the flow. Factories start up their vast mechanical creations, producing light bulbs, sheets of metal, bottles of milk, and piles of bread loaves. 


     Workers arrive at their offices, putting out their writing materials, typewriters are uncovered and women, mostly, go into a mad typing frenzy; telephones are picked up and returned to their cradles—all actions that, as my friend Deborah Meadows whisperingly reminded me, younger people today have never experienced.

      Indeed, one of the film’s charms is the kind of quaintness of its gestures, featuring stuffed animals and wound-up tin and plastic creatures advertising various products and purveyors, while presenting us with visages of vast signage the like of which today exists, perhaps, only in New York’s Times Square. Trains puff in an out of town within inches of apartment windows. Children play among horse manure and mud.

    Like the artists of the LACMA show “New Objectivity,” Ruttmann seems particularly interested in children, often seen punching one another, bullying other minors, and, in some cases, kicking at other children’s baby carriages and toys. One small girl with a baby carriage is overwhelmed by the impossibility of taking her small body and carriage up impossibly steep steps wherein, we must presume, she resides. The numerous children of Berlin, in short, are seldom charming or cute, but are represented more as mean-spirited small adults, a bit like Oskar Matzerath in Grass’ post-war classic The Tin Drum.


      Predictably, the wail of a siren signifies lunch, as thousands of adults pour from offices and homes, rushing to street-side stands for the German favorite of Frankfurters and grilled sausages or pushing into swanky restaurants where again they dine on platters of sausage or order up highly decorated dishes that soon after will, like the many bedding-down animals Ruttmann interpolates between his city frames, put them to sleep. Some children are seen dining on the slops.

      The impatient tap of a dining customer’s spoon against his coffee cup calls all back to work, as Ruttmann’s screen once again goes into a literal whirl (one of his favorite devices being the spinning wheel of the hypnotist). A montage of newspaper headlines reading “Mord” (murder), “Börse (market), “Krise” (crisis), “Heirat” (marriage), and “Geld” (money) punctuates this 4th act of the film, as the director hurries his city into a literal storm, with the wind rising and leaves scurrying across the suddenly-wet streets. Department store doors revolve before our faces and we are taken on a roller coaster ride, as a woman clings to the edge of a bridge before throwing her body into the river below it, a mass of people gathering to speculate on the cause of her suicide.

     Masses of children play in a lake and soon participate in skating exhibitions, hockey games, and other athletic contests. A few couples gather upon benches to smooch before night falls.


     For the final act of his visual symphony, Ruttmann takes us into the dark night of wet streets which beautifully reflect the massive neon signs of restaurants, night clubs, theaters, and other evening pleasures. In and out we speed with Ruttmann’s camera into light and grand opera companies, bars, burlesque shows, and variety of presentations of jugglers and trapeze artists. For a second we enter a film palace to observe the lower portion of a film image we immediately recognize as Charlie Chaplin.

 

  Dancers come together and part. Women flirt, are picked up, and taken to grand hotels, the participants ignoring a boy beggar. In some bars men stand about as if waiting for the arrival of women, in other beer halls men and women sing, roulette wheels are spun, and, finally, the whole screen goes into a spin ending with fireworks and the movie’s close. Nowhere in Ruttmann’s Berlin are the numerous gay and lesbian bars or the late-evening and night heterosexual or homosexual prostitutes and boy pick-ups! Ruttmann’s Berlin may be a bit wild, but it is never truly perverse—in part because it doesn’t really deal with the real denizens of the metropolis it claims be revealing, presenting all figures, rather, as types. Only his children have encounters, and those, as I’ve noted, are often abrasive and foreboding. These were the children, after all, of Hitler’s Jungen bund.

    Although throughout this film there is often a kind of exciting rhythm of image, movement, and gesture, on the whole, Ruttmann’s 24-hour travelogue is not a very endearing one.

 

Los Angeles, October 16, 2015

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (October 2015).

Don Roy King | Gay Dracula / 1994 [TV (SLN) episode]

two bats at it

by Douglas Messerli

 

Don Roy King (director) Gay Dracula / 1994 [TV (SLN) episode]

 

Not only was John Travolta willing to perform in drag on the October 15, 1994 Saturday Night Live TV production, but he allowed himself to be the butt of a joke about his own denials about being gay.

     Everyone knows that Dracula just has to be gay, or at least bisexual, since he apparently needs the blood of whomever happens by. As I have established in my early 1930s discussions of Dracula on film, moreover, it was to human males that the cinema versions of the vampire first became attracted. Yet the Dracula (Travolta) whose manner and affected English, slightly lisping voice gives every evidence of being queer, is quite disturbed when finishing up dinner with his unexpected guests Kevin Nealon and Janeane Garofolo to overhear Kevin—and at the very moment that he about to sink his teeth into his male guest’s neck—describe him as a “fruit,” a man who is “definitely gay.” The very thought seems to take away the Count’s appetite for the manly flesh into who he was about to bite.


      He returns to the table, admitting that although he might have some strange attributes he is most definitely not gay. When Renfield shows up, admitting that he’s lived in the castle with the Count for over 20 years and that Dracula takes him with him when he travels and cuts his hair—Dracula quieting him at this point—he merely confirms his guest’s suspicions. Janeane even, in a most friendly manner, asks “How long have you two been together? …How long has he been your “companion?”

     “Are you implying that Renfield and I are lovers. Why that’s absurd. First of all, he’s my servant. And secondly we’re not gay. I admit I am a man of many secrets but humping a mental defective is not one of them!”



     Realizing that his new friends still do not quite believe him, Dracula calls Renfield in once more to have him confirm that they are not a couple. “But the thing is,” Renfield admits, “I am gay.”

    “What? Well I had no idea! I mean he lives at the other end of the castle. How should I have known?” I am a vampire, he insists. “I suck human blood.”

      Although a little put off by his admissions, they both assure him that his sexual preferences are his business, they completely respect it.

      To prove that he truly is vampire, he challenges them watch him out the window as he flies away as a bat.

      The two guests, standing at the window, are a bit stunned by what Kevin Nealon describes:

 

“Hey, here comes another bat. Another male bat. Oh, my God, they’re doing it.”

Janeane interrupts, “Are you sure that’s male.”

     “Yeah, yeah. Look at the marking on its wings. Boy, he’s really giving it to the Count.”

 

      The Count stumbles back into through the window, completely done in. “I know this looks bad, but I didn’t even know there were gay bats.”

       “Maybe it was Renfield,” suggests Kevin.

       “Renfield isn’t a vampire. He’s an idiot I hired out of pity.”

       Still unable to convince the couple, he grabs up some playing cards with naked women on them. “Why would I even have these if I were homosexual?”

       At that very moment Wolfman (Michael Myers) enters the castle, a highly effeminate gay man who is about to borrow the Count’s pastry brush. “Don’t mind me, I’m not even here.”

       Dracula points in Wolfman’s direction: “Now if you want gay, that is gay!”

       “But you two seem to know one another pretty well,” responds Kevin.

       He finally becomes so irritated that he sends them away—without, I remind you, drawing even a tincture of blood from either of their veins.

       When they leave, Wolfman saunters in. “Party’s over?”

       “Do you know Renfield’s gay?”

       “Dah!”

       “Well, did the two you ever….”

     

    “No, no. He’s not my type. Not that he didn’t try though. Oh, yeah. He’s been coming on to everyone. Especially since he learned how to turn himself into a bat!”

       This skit, if nothing else, should clearly demonstrate that Travolta’s fear of being described as a gay man are pretty much over.

 

Los Angeles, May 10, 2024

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2024

Don Roy King | Coffee Talk with Linda Richman: Barbra Streisand / 1994 [TV (SNL) episode]

the real barbra

by Douglas Messerli

 

Don Roy King (director) Coffee Talk with Linda Richman: Barbra Streisand / 1994 [TV (SLN) episode]

 

From 1991-1994 Mike Myers—having replaced Paul Baldwin who hosted the first “Coffee Talk” skit—took to drag as a middle-aged Jewish woman with a exaggerated New York accent. Dressed in gaudy sweaters, with a big head of hair she constantly adjusts, long painted fake nails, large dark glasses, and a lot gold jewelry, Linda Richman interviewed r Saturday Night Live hosts and guests including Kirstie Alley, Madonna and Roseanne Barr (with a surprise appearance by Barbra Streisand that nonplussed both the actors and the audience), Bill Murray, John Goodman, Christian Applegate, Charles Barkley, Christian Slater, Charlton Heston, Helen Hunt, and Heather Locklear.*

 

     Her skit with John Travolta was actually the last of the series, although Myers returned in 1997 to reappear as Linda one last time. Of the series, in all of which Myers appears in drag, I have included only this one since there are two drag performances in this case, while Myers goes it alone in all the others. It is fun, however, to hear Madonna mock her own sexual activities as Linda’s friend Liz Rosenberg along with Roseanne Barr as her unbearable mother. The uncomfortable, very heterosexual Heston is funny simply because of Linda’s claim that he is her new boyfriend and because of his inability to properly pronounce any of the Yiddish words he attempts to banter, having presumably learned them from his time with Linda.

     Throughout all of these skits one of Linda’s very favorite topics was Barbra Streisand, of whom she time and again repeated her admiration, characterizing her voice as being like “buttah.”

     In this skit, John Travolta, dressed up as a somewhat look-a-like Streisand—he wears the same sailor’s suit as Streisand work in her 1964 TV special “Color Me Barbara”—explains that she has legally changed her original name, had “a little plastic surgery,” and nothing more. Linda holds up this Barbra’s driver’s license to confirm the fact.


     When Linda asks “How long have you been impersonating Barbra,” Travolta declares: “I don’t impersonate her. I am her.”

      And, in fact, in this skit the two, Linda and Barbra actually get in a few words about transsexuality. When a caller asks what Barbra is planning to do for her next movie, she responds:

 

“Well, I want to do a movie on the differences between men and women. I want to be the kind of strong woman who can say to a man: “How dare you, you as a man, speak to me, me as a woman! I think you’re full of crap!”

 

     Linda responds: “That’s a hard piece. Let me ask you something. Do you still have a pee-pee or do you tuck it?”

     “Well, why don’t you come down and check for yourself by coming to Don’t Tell Mama’s Thursday through Sunday. I’m on after the Larry Stort Show.”

    Another caller asks if Barbra might sing, and Travolta breaks into a wonderful medley of Streisand songs beginning with “Pappa can you hear me?” from Yentl before singing a few bars from “People,” shifting into “Don’t Rain on My Parade,” Linda joining in with the first line of “You don’t bring me flowers,” with Travolta’s Streisand singing the response. The two end the skit by standing and belting out a closing reprise of “Don’t Rain.”


      Travolta is particularly charming, his voice quite tenderly moving as he sings “You don’t sing me love songs.”

       Both Myers and Travolta has long demonstrated that they are masters of female impersonation, and in this short they restate their talents.

       Strangely, although I could find almost all the other Linda Richman skits on the internet, I was able to only track down an abbreviated version of this one. Fortunately, the entire script is available.

       Given the compulsive behavior of some individuals, the new concerns about artificial intelligence’s ability to take over the identity of individuals, the current rightest attacks on transsexuality, and Travolta’s own evident bisexualism, this 1994 skit cuts quite close to the bone of several sensitive issues today.       

     

*The full line-up of Michael Myers’ Linda Richman Coffee Talk skits, their dates and the guests are listed below:

 

May 11, 1991 (Delta Burke) (Paul Baldwin's only appearance)

October 12, 1991 (Kirstie Alley) (Linda Richman's first appearance)

February 22, 1992 (Madonna and Roseanne Barr) (Barbra Streisand guest stars in this skit)

February 20, 1993 (Bill Murray)

March 13, 1993 (John Goodman)

May 8, 1993 (Christina Applegate)

September 25, 1993 (Charles Barkley)

October 30, 1993 (Christian Slater)

December 4, 1993 (Charlton Heston)

March 19, 1994 (Helen Hunt)

May 14, 1994 (Heather Locklear)

October 15, 1994 (John Travolta)

March 22, 1997 (Mike Myers)

 

Los Angeles, May 10, 2024

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2024).

Robert Altman | The Long Goodbye / 1973

losing his cat

by Douglas Messerli

 

Leigh Brackett (screenplay, based on Raymond Chandler’s The Long Goodbye), Robert Altman (director) The Long Goodbye / 1973

 

Altman’s loser of a private detective, Philip Marlowe, loves his cat, which he proves in the early sequences of The Long Goodbye by getting up at 3:00 A.M. to feed him, and when the cat refuses to eat the mess he has cooked up—Marlowe has forgotten to buy new cat food—the private detective trots out to an all-night grocery to get his cat the needed special favorite food, of which his local grocery, apparently, has run out. The cat does not appreciate his pretense of serving him another cat food out of the already discarded empty can.


      These early scenes, to many viewers, may seem pointless, but they establish a loving character who, entirely disinterested in his eroticized-lesbian yoga neighbors, refuses to loosen his noir-period tie in a world that has clearly gone to the dogs. In fact, Altman’s amazing film is filled with images of dogs—particularly after Marlowe’s cat goes missing—appearing in nearly every scene of the film, some of them—in his scenes with Eileen Wade (Nina van Pallandt), whose Rottweiler apparently hates this cat lover (despite Eileen’s slight attraction to him when she hires the gumshoe to bring back her husband from a corrupt detoxification clinic)—literally threaten his existence.

     But, I am getting ahead of myself, whereas this Chandleresque tale, like The Deep Sleep before it, rambles through its mystifying halls of horror. Far more than in Howard Hawk’s 1939 original, Altman’s film is easy-going, almost tip-toeing—or, should we say, cat-sidling—up to its complex story about betrayal after betrayal after betrayal, of husband, wife, and, most importantly, a friend who involves our hero with LA underground and police forces. No one in Altman’s wonderful re-righting of the noir history—along with the great Hollywood screenwriter, Leigh Brackett--seems to quite know what the original was about. But who else could have written this version but Brackett who in collaboration with William Faulkner and Jules Furthman, penned the original script, plus numerous other major screenplays, including Rio Bravo, El Dorado, Rio Lobo, as well as working on Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and numerous other science fiction novels of the 1940s and 1950s!


    No one seems to care about anyone else in this 1970’s version of Chandler’s myth, or, even worse, seems not even to be aware of each other’s existence. The deepest relationship Marlowe has with his libidinous neighbors is their request for boxes of brownie mix, presumably so they might mix it up with pot.

    As Elliott Gould almost literally sleepwalks into this complicated plot, he discovers, almost by accident, that now in the 1970s he is living in a time in which everyone is so self-involved that some people are abused only to prove their hatred of all others; gangster Marty Augustine (Mark Rydell), attacks his beautiful mistress simply to prove "That's someone I love. You, I don't even like." Diffidence seems to be the only way to survive, even if it might be seen as sexual passivity. 

       Gould’s version of Marlowe is a puritan in a world that no longer recognizes purity. The only evidence that he might oppose the society around him is his insistent strikes of matches across the surfaces of any wall or object he encounters. He seldom drinks, and will not even remove his tie on request from the Hemingway-like Roger Wade (Sterling Hayden), who, like Norman Maine in A Star Is Born, determines to commit suicide by drowning.

 

      Altman’s hero is totally inconsequential, in fact, until the very last scenes, when he tracks down his former childhood friend Terry Lennox (Jim Bouton), forcing him to finally admit that he has killed his wife and stolen Augustine’s money, all of which has been at the heart of a series of terrifying events in his own life. 

      Marlowe’s outright murder of Lennox seems almost innocent given Lennox’s own staged-death and his destruction of so many others along the way. Murder suddenly seems the only possibility, and, in the context of the 1970s self-infatuations, is a truly moral act. One has to ask, more importantly, of what has their life-long relationship really consisted? Who, even out of ordinary friendship, might be compelled to drive a friend, in the middle of the night, from Los Angeles to the Mexican border? No wonder, as the title of this film suggests in word and song, it is a very “long goodbye.”

 

    If Marlowe survives, nearly everyone in this film has helped to destroy Marlowe’s sweet and desperately hungry cat. He will return to an apartment (in a significant historical building which Howard and I know very well, since our friends Carol Elliel and Tom Muller live there today), that is permanently empty, despite the eye-candy from his window—in which Marlowe is seemingly disinterested.

     Marlowe’s beloved cat is a male. Perhaps, as the nasty detective who interrogates him early in the film suggests, the detective is truly a “faggot.” At one point, the villain Augustine suggests that all of his men and Marlowe remove their clothes to reveal themselves as innocent or guilty. The gangsters quickly strip, while Marlowe, slow to the process, is saved by the return of the money by Wade’s wife. But clearly Gould’s wonderful portrayal of the mythical Chandler figure seems totally disinterested in the women who torture most the bad boys of this play. I’ll go with the “passive” hero any day as opposed to the manipulating male macho heterosexual figures this story portrays. If this isn’t exactly a “gay” movie, it’s certainly a portrait of a man utterly removed from female love.

      Marlowe, if nothing else, is a gentleman of the old school, what we might have described as the unmarrying kind. Anyone have any Cory cat food so that he might delight his starving cat, if he might ever find him again? 

     I should add, this is one of the great movies of the late 20th Century?

 

Los Angeles, November 5, 2016

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (November 2016).

 

Index [listed alphabetically by director]

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