Thursday, May 14, 2026

Douglas Messerli | Billy Budd: The Essential Gay Masterwork of the 19th Century [essay]

 

billy budd: the essential gay masterwork of the 19th  century

by Douglas Messerli

 

After writing his great homoerotic works culminating in the masterpiece Moby Dick in 1851, Melville penned one final work in Billy Budd in 1881, left unpublished until it was rediscovered and published in 1924.

      There were a great many works through the 19th century, of course, with sublimated and even somewhat openly gay subjects. Oscar Wilde, for example, wrote many a work infused with gay humor and coded plots from The Importance of Being Earnest, The Portrait of Dorian Gray, and his final Salome. Edgar Allan Poe was seen, particularly by European writers, as a model for sublimated gay texts, particularly in his stories about doppelgangers and in The Fall of the House of Usher. Paul Verlaine and Arthur Rimbaud scandalized many a European for their love played out in public and poetic writings. Robert Louis Stevenson steeped his great story Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the myth of the bipartite individual, one a good doctor and the other a closeted monster who preyed on both women and men. And there were many others before such as the US poet Walt Whitman who openly celebrated male love and the male body.

     Yet somehow Melville’s Billy Budd seems to summarize the glorious beauty and goodness of gay life without ever once using a language that actually says anything specifically about male on male sex.


                                                                              First page of the original manuscript.

 

      As Dana Silva summarizes in his essay “Exploring Homoeroticism in Herman Melville’s Novella Billy Budd, Sailor: “Although Billy Budd was not published until 1924, the novella is considered to be one of  ‘only about fifty works of western literature in the nineteenth century [that] can be said to treat the subject of male homosexuality more or less openly’ (Graham Robb, Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century). Melville incorporates the sub-theme of homoeroticism into the main theme of good versus evil in Billy Budd, Sailor, by personifying male homosexuality in the complex relationship between two seamen, Billy Budd and Claggart.”

      How to do we know Billy is gay since he may be far to innocent to have even engage in homosexual sex? Mostly because we gay men and women told you so. We recognize him as one of us, beautiful and desirable to a ship of men desperate for sex and longing who suddenly have witnessed a lovely body amongst their rough-hewn, aging, and flogged selves. And even the better preserved, well dressed navy officers such as Captain Vere, Mr. Redburn, Mr. Flint, and the Master-of-Arms John Claggart immediately recognized his goodness, bodily readiness, and primarily his “handsomeness.” If the evil Claggart had been able to admit to his desire of Billy’s body he would have readily raped him. We know the men below deck utterly adored and enjoyed his company—whatever that might mean on a ship full of sailors who have not had sex in months or even years. He immediately becomes their lucky charm and leader, offering them something other than the endlessly hard work and punishment of impressed sailors. He was the Marilyn Monroe of male pin-ups in a day before men fetishized men and women instead of simply acting out sexual fulfillment.

      Before the 20th century, particularly in the frontiers of every culture and in poorer families, men often shared the bed with other men, women with women, sometimes children with the elders. Lincoln did so. Men wrote flowery love letters to other men, Melville to Hawthorne. Whether or not that meant sexual encounters is unknowable, but it would not have been exceptional.

      More importantly, these 19th century writers had no language, as we do today, to describe gay behavior. The word homosexual did not even exist until the early 20th century, and although gay was occasionally applied to male on male relationships in a kind of gipsy and theatrical argot, it did not necessarily mean precisely what we mean by it today. Besides in that century and previously people felt no need to categorize human sexuality. Some might be opposed to sexuality in general, but it was simply presumed that men sometimes had sex with other men and that women bonded in special ways with one another that needn’t be discussed. Some men preferred boys and some women simply preferred the company of their own sex. Others cross-dressed. Despite the Victorian social attitudes to sex in general, sexuality as a behavior did not need to be slotted into categories. People had sex of all sorts, and that was the end of it.

     Not totally, of course. Men were often punished for not fulfilling their “God-given” roles of heterosexually protecting and procreating with the female sex. Some were arrested and even tortured. But more generally, it was understood that men did and could still form close homosocial and even homoerotic relationships with other men. The church and societal ostracization would punish them for their fornications.

     It’s only near the 20th century that people such as Sigmund Freud, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, Magnus Hirschfeld, Iwan Bloch, and Karl Abraham that social scientists began to separate out types of sexual behavior, applying words such as Urnings (yearnings) and Honosexualität (homosexuality) to our language regarding sexuality, attempting to explain such relationships in the context of family life.

    Today, we know Billy Budd is a gay novel because we have made it so. It stands to reason that a ship full of beefy sailors encountering a young beauty who was innocent enough to believe in the goodness of all things would have been greedily taken into their hearts and bodily pleasures.

     With the exception of Whitman’s joyful abandonment to the male body, Billy was our first truly gay hero. Beyond all the monsters such as Dr. Jekyll, Roderick Usher, Dorian Gray, and even Paul Verlaine, Billy Budd was pure, beautiful, and just plain breathtaking to look at even if he is often portrayed by older opera performers who don’t look like the Billy of Peter Ustinov’s film version. He wore no masks, betrayed no individuals, and couldn’t even speak very well when cornered into a stammer, but he remained a pretty model of what a gay man could be, where his body and face spoke for his inner heart. Isn’t that what all gay men to desire to depict in their generally careful representations of themselves to the world: we are a society of would-be Billy Budds.

     Jeffrey Meyers in his truly excellent essay on Benjamin Britten’s Billy Budd opera in the Gay and Lesbian Review, makes it clear what Billy is up against regarding both Claggart and Vere in the world of the British Navy.

 

 “Billy Budd, an unusual subject for an opera, has an inarticulate hero, an elusive narrator, and an all-male cast in the claustrophobic setting of a ship. The story is simple: on a Royal Navy vessel, during the war with revolutionary France in 1797, John Claggart, the Master-at-Arms who’s responsible for discipline on board, is a brutal sadist who resents the youth and innocence of Billy Budd. He accuses Billy of fomenting a mutiny. Billy strikes and kills him, and Captain Vere allows him to be sentenced to death. The cruel officers are very different from Jane Austen’s idealized naval heroes. The harsh conditions justify Samuel Johnson’s observation that ‘being in a ship is being in a jail with the chance of being drowned.’” They also support Winston Churchill’s succinct statement that ‘the traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy, and the lash.’”

 

     Later in his essay he summarizes the real problems that lead to Billy’s hanging:

 

     “Since homosexual love could not be made explicit in 1951, Vere’s feelings and motives remain ambiguous. But the opera suggests that both Claggart and Vere are in love with the beautiful Billy. Melville noted that Billy’s aristocratic appearance connected him to Vere. Since Claggart cannot allow himself to have sex with Billy, he torments him instead. Since Vere cannot have sex with Billy, he must hang him. He wants to remove the source of temptation and corruption and have him die at the peak of his perfect beauty. Vere finishes what Claggart had begun and, as Michael Wilcox (1997) concludes, ‘allowed himself to become Claggart’s instrument of destruction.’

      Vere, like Claggart and Billy, is also guilty. Billy’s final benediction—“Starry Vere, God bless you!”—proves his inherent purity and innocence. In his retrospective Epilogue that concludes the opera, Vere tries to exonerate himself. His self-serving speech evokes ‘the peace of God which passeth all understanding’ (Philippians 4:7) when claiming: ‘the love that passes understanding has come to me.’ But when Vere suggests his complicity with the diabolical Claggart and admits, “It is I whom the devil awaits,” he confesses that he has committed a sin by choosing revenge over pity and by hanging instead of saving the ‘angel of God.’ Billy is victimized twice: by Claggart’s false accusation and Vere’s blind obedience to the Articles of War. He is also sacrificed by their refusal to recognize their deepest desires and the self-hatred aroused by their tormenting homosexuality.”

 

     Billy is gay because there is no other way to describe him, a man totally happy to live his life among other men like Old Dansker, Neuling, Squeak, and the various younger cabin boys. He loves his role as foretopman, and the company of those below with whom he sings joyful sailor chanteys. He aspires to work even closer with the officers, and does not at perceive his impressment as anything out of the ordinary. He has simply left the ship “The Rights of Man,” for the “Indomitable” which even comprehending the meaning of what he has had to given up to be there or just how vulnerable his new voyage truly is. He reminds me of myself entering my first gay bar experience in New York City with all the utter almost trembling joy I felt in meeting up with the ruffians within, with absolutely no clue of their envy or my eventual regret.

 

Los Angeles, May 14, 2026 | Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2026).

Robert Marrero with Grant Knoche | First Hello / 2023 [music video]

i’m ready now

by Douglas Messerli

 

Grant Knoche (composer), Robert Marrero (director) First Hello / 2023 [3 minutes] [music video]

 

Former boy band performer, Grant Knoche continued to inch forward after leaving Kidz Bop Kids (2013-2016), as a bisexual performer which he finally announced in 2022. His first coming out song was “First Hello” which featured a narrative of not only a young man coming out to his worried father, but two young girls, one appearing to transition towards being transgender and other an accepting lesbian.

     The lyrics and images pretty much make it clear that in this work Knoche is celebrating all the young queer individuals that have been silenced throughout childhood, to finally speak out and accept their identities, greeting the world with the very “first hello,” as a child, as they now represent their new sense of self and self-worth with which they have so long struggled.

     It may be a simplistic and evident statement, but it is clearly one that needs to be repeated again and again. And this ballad becomes almost a rallying cry for the gay experience and coming out, not just to one’s parents, but to the world.

     With performer Vincint the song gained international attention.


Staring at my ceiling

Convince myself it’s nothing

Pray to god to fix me

Feeling guilty having thoughts at 12 years old

Is momma gonna like this i’m risking her of grandkids

7 years of fighting

And I don’t wanna fight no more

 

So I wanna let it out

Wasn’t ready then

But I’m ready now

I want my friends to know me

Like really really know me

I hope this doesn’t change things

They say that boys don’t cry

But news flash, that’s a lie

I don’t fit inside your boxes

I can’t stop this no

So I’m counting down

Unlock my cell

And come on out



Oh my

Beautiful bliss

I’m so foreign to this

Tell you what my walls know

Here’s my first hello

Oh my

Such a relief

I can be me

I don’t put on no show

It’s my first hello

 

Los Angeles, May 14, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2026).

Zach Siegel | You Can Stay Over (If You Want) / 2023

post-coitus conversation

by Douglas Messerli

 

Zach Siegel (screenwriter and director) You Can Stay Over (If You Want) / 2023 [11 minutes]

 

Fairy tales often reveal our worst collective fears in a manner in which we couldn’t express them in mimetic art. We need the seeming fantasy and exaggeration of the fairy tale to honestly express our most wonderful imaginings and horrific fears.

    Zach Siegel’s fairy tale at first pretends to be a gay pick-up story that quickly turns into something that explores the far deeper psyche of all gay men and others who upon having sex with another dare to explain something about themselves that the other may not what to hear or if he knew would not encourage continuing a relationship.


     In this film, John (Michael Sturgis) and Patrick Reilly (Alex), having met one another, have had pleasant sex even before the title. In fact, the quite affable John has already begun a story about anal sex that has resulted in the rather unpleasant conversation topic of defecation, the first of what might be represented as just too much information for a momentary sexual partner to digest.

    Yet Alex greets it with a friendly manner, and the two seem, from all evidence, appear to truly like one another, planning on getting together again even though; but since it’s after 2:00 in the morning, Alex insists he has to go.

     You can see the look of John’s face as he wonders if his bed partner is yet another one-time partner, ready to go soon after the sexual release. Yet he is ready to accept the fact, but not before, as Alex rushes to dress, he ventures one more invitation: “You can stay over, if you want.”

      Alex pauses, giving the usual excuses, that he has an early appointment in the morning, etc. But yet there is something so friendly and open about John’s suggestion that he dares go beyond the usual jargon. Finally, entering into the myth of all fairy tales, he admits to something that would almost surely jeopardize any further communication with the man he might like to meet up with again.


      He warns him that what he is about to admit is simply not believable given the rational thinking of our ordinary realities, but insists that it’s true that 4:00 each morning he…turns into a giant snake.

      John’s first reaction, naturally, is to try to trace it as a metaphorical statement, that perhaps it is a nightmare, a statement of anger, or relates to a regular erection, a demand for further sex, something having to do with the sexual instrument some men refer to as they “snake.”

     But, no, Alex insists, it is not a metaphor; this is real: he actually turns into a giant snake.

     Imagining to be some sort of delusion John discreetly asks how long has this been occurring in his life, Alex suggesting it has been as long as he remembers, and his family has attempted to see doctors who might explain or cure it without success.

     Probing a bit further John tries to have Alex explain how he deals with the condition. But again, Alex is very practical and honest about it; it simply retires to the bathtub until the transformation is complete and he has turned back into a human being.

     Asked, if he is convinced that what Alex is telling him is real, John admits that he cannot truly believe it, but asks if it were true, might Alex kill him. But even here Alex cannot answer for his snake self. He doesn’t know, but sets his alarm each night to awaken him so that he can retreat to the tub.

      Convinced, now more than ever, that he has to leave, Alex continues dressing, only to hear John tell him that he has very nice bathroom tub. Who couldn’t resist such a kind invitation.

      And when at the appointed hour John wakes up to see his bedmate missing, hearing strange sounds from his bathroom, who wouldn’t be tempted to at least go take a peek, which he does.

     In fact, there is a quite giant black snake in his bathtub, it’s tongue prominently displayed. John begins to carefully back out, but then, quite strangely, pauses, and finally moves forward joining the snake in the tub.


     The serpent does not attack him but slithers around him and John actually makes contact with the serpent’s tongue.

     I like the Letterboxd response of a commentary whose moniker is “EmpressEuphoic,” who expresses quite succinctly the vague notions that had crossed my mind:

 

“Intimacy is easy — until honesty is introduced.

     Zach Siegel begins where most films politely fade out: after the hookup.

     Two men in bed, conversation drifting from casual to… inadvisable. One can almost feel the moment approaching — the point at which someone will say something they cannot retract.

     You Can Stay Over (If You Want) treats vulnerability as risk. The offer to stay is not romantic — it is conditional. To remain is to reveal.

     The conversation sharpens, oversharing masquerading as intimacy, until it becomes clear that desire is not the problem. Truth is.

    After Bad Medicine [the 1985 movie directed by Harvey Miller], where attachment persisted despite its damage, this feels more surgical. The connection is not yet broken — it is simply… tested.

     One does not fear being known. One fears being known accurately.

     A sharp little study in post-intimacy — precise, uncomfortable, and just honest enough to unsettle.

     After discovering that desire can endure damage, one is confronted with something far less resilient — the truth, once spoken.”

 

     The more I thought about this superficially unlikeable short film, the more I admired it.

 

Los Angeles, May 14, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema (May 2026).

 

 


Ethan McDowell | Lúbtha (Queer) / 2019

just one night

by Douglas Messerli

 

Ethan McDowell (screenwriter and director) Lúbtha (Queer) / 2019 [14 minutes]

 

“Lúbtha” is the Gaelic word for “queer,” which growing up in Northern Ireland in the early 1990s might have been the least of one’s problems. Even children are shown carrying real guns, and  it’s difficult for someone like Fintan (Oliver Scullion) on his way to school to explain to his young brother Séamus (Josh Hegarty) why even pretending to shoot him with a tree branch is a dangerous act.


     Fintan, not generally known as the “queer”—that term is applied mostly by his abusive alcoholic mother (Geraldine Galligan) to Fintan’s best friend Caelan (Conor Gormally)—is forced also to be the father to his brother, making sure that he’s dressed, had breakfast, and is out the door on time to get to school, calling out to his mother, clearly still in bed, that there’s some leftover stew in the fridge.

      But even Séamus is curious why his brother and mother are constantly fighting and reports that he’s heard that Caelan and he are boyfriends. What’s Fintan to do but scream out “Shut the fuck up!”


    As the boys, Fintan and Caelan, shower together in the empty morning school locker room (they clearly shower before the other boys arrive to not to be bullied), Caelan wonders whether his friend has been in a fight since he has a mean mark on his back. Fintan refuses to talk about it, obviously a gift from one of his mother’s furious rages.

       Back home again his mother screams at and attacks Fintan for having left Séamus in the care of “a fucking queer” (Caelan) and shows up the torn-up photos she’s found hidden of the two friends together. She spits in her son’s face.

       Knowing that it’s going to be one of “those nights” again, Fintan asks Caelan to send his brother home and wonders whether he might not spend the night at his place instead of returning home.

       Is it any wonder why Fintan feels bitter, arguing that even Caelan is of no good to him. Like so many young gay men of his age he can only dream of escape, even from the one he’s been accused of loving—but then there’s Séamus; how can he leave him behind.


       When Caelan earlier asks what’s wrong now, Fintan pours out his sorrows: “You want to know what’s wrong. This shithole of a town, my ma, mus [Séamus], wherever the fuck my da is and you! Fucking stupid you asking these stupid fucking questions.”

       Caelan Murphy may be hurt by his words, but compared with Fintan he has the perfect mother (Ciara Gallagher) who tucks her guest in with kind word, to which even the angry Fintan responds “I’ll be grand, Mrs. Murphy. Don’t you be worrying,” words for which Caelan later teases him.

       He tries to sleep, but Caelan comes to get him out of bed for a bike run down the streets, sharing a liquor bottle and a few cigs en route. Hunkered-up against a wall, Fintan wonders is it wrong, “me and you.” “I want to be normal for just one night.” But then they kiss and everything, for just a few moments, seems right.

 

Los Angeles, August 3, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (August 2023).

Robert Eggers | The Lighthouse / 2019

freudian studies 101

by Douglas Messerli

 

Robert Eggers and Max Eggers (screenplay), Robert Eggers (director) The Lighthouse / 2019

 

Film critics get over it! Robert Eggers’ new film The Lighthouse is not at all a psychological-terror drama of two men going mad in a gloomy lighthouse. It’s, instead, a rather remarkable statement of the late 19th century views that made up Freud’s notions of male passion, rejection of the father, and psychosis—all of which, given our now 21st century views seem rather ridiculous.

     Yes, all young boys, at one time or another, what to kill their fathers or go to bed with them. Mothers are often not to be seen, except in the notions of mermaids and slithering obscure figures. They are always kept at a far distance from their young sons. That is the subject of this odd and somewhat perverse film.


    The lighthouse is itself a phallic statue that, which with its milky, high-tower warmth of mother-like white light, creates great problems for the very troubled youth of this work, Ephriam (Robert Pattinson), who later admits to having the same name, Tommy, of his tormenter, the father figure who will not ever give him credit for his hard labors, the salty Thomas (William Dafoe), who makes up stories and myths faster that you can ever even assimilate them—or in some cases even hear them.

      He is in control of the mother-figure in this male-dominated film, the light itself. He alone is in charge of the mother-lode, to which the son/young youth he has hired has absolutely no access and is accordingly frustrated. The father, in this case, the elder Thomas, will never allow his symbolic son even entry to his bed, the center of the lighthouse, and the source of its power.

       Welcome to Freudian Pyschology 101.


      This film, if you look at it from a somewhat academic view, is a hilarious black comedy about all young male’s fears and doubts. Trapped in an impossible relationship with his paternal figure, the young Tommy, Jr. is forced to do all of the labor without not only appreciation from the father figure of Egger’s film, but with an absolute rebuttal, as he later discovers in a journal saved from the flood of their hatred, of anything he might have truly accomplished. Isn’t that what many fathers have done through the centuries?

      Like all youth, young Tommy (Ephriam) masturbates himself into mad sensation, while the elder acts as a distant voyeur, even while encouraging him into the drunken madness of his own life. How can the young Tommy resist the almost pedophilic demands of a father in this dance of utterly male kinship? Their somewhat healthy clogging quickly turns into a slow-dance of intense involvement, forcing the younger man to admit to acts he might or might not have ever committed.

     That is the dilemma for all young boys, admitting to what they may (in this case a passive murder of a fellow logger) or may not have accomplished.


      Yes, there are certainly homoerotic aspects to any father/son relationship. How can there not be, when the son is forced to love a father who controls his life? And the S&M aspects of that relationship are certainly played out in Eggers’ highly symbolic film.

       The son must destroy the father to get even near to the mother—in this case the light at the top of the penis in which the two are entrapped. Even the vision of the mother-lode, the light at the top of the tunnel, is enough to send the young Tommy into a spin back into the spiral of the lighthouse staircase into death, his entrails eaten by the sea-birds which his Melvillian father has called up in his frenzied hatred.

       If you treat this film at all as a sort of naturalistic treatise about lonely men in an isolated world, you won’t be able to appreciate the director’s dark vision or even begin to comprehend the deep mumble-jumble of Dafoe’s brilliant acting, nor the prickly reactions of Pattinson, along with the brilliant cinematography of Jarin Blaschke. Eggers’ square box of filming, which confines the entire action to claustrophobic statement of content will make utterly no sense


     This is not the world; this is a vision of what our nightmares are all about—at least according to Freud, who came out of these very times. The dominant father, the missing mother, the terrified son, are here the creatures we explore. Death is not death in the traditional manner, but symbolically a statement of what families do to one another, the lighthouse representing a kind a family structure. The phallus, in our lives, is unfortunately, everything in Freudian life. Both the young Tommy and the elder Thomas need to serve it assiduously. The perversity of this film reveals how much we need to alter our ways.

 

Los Angeles, October 29, 2019

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (October 2019).

 

Index of Titles (director, title, and date) A-Q

  https://myqueercinema.blogspot.com/2023/12/former-index-to-world-cinema-review.html Films discussed (listed alphabetically by director) [F...