i’m ready now
by
Douglas Messerli
Grant
Knoche (composer), Robert Marrero (director) First Hello / 2023 [3
minutes] [music video]
Former
boy band performer, Grant Knoche continued to inch forward after leaving Kidz
Bop Kids (2013-2016), as a bisexual performer which he finally announced in
2022. His first coming out song was “First Hello” which featured a narrative of
not only a young man coming out to his worried father, but two young girls, one
appearing to transition towards being transgender and other an accepting lesbian.
The lyrics and images pretty much make it
clear that in this work Knoche is celebrating all the young queer individuals
that have been silenced throughout childhood, to finally speak out and accept
their identities, greeting the world with the very “first hello,” as a child,
as they now represent their new sense of self and self-worth with which they
have so long struggled.
It may be a simplistic and evident
statement, but it is clearly one that needs to be repeated again and again. And
this ballad becomes almost a rallying cry for the gay experience and coming
out, not just to one’s parents, but to the world.
With performer Vincint the song gained
international attention.
Staring
at my ceiling
Convince
myself it’s nothing
Pray
to god to fix me
Feeling
guilty having thoughts at 12 years old
Is
momma gonna like this i’m risking her of grandkids
7
years of fighting
And
I don’t wanna fight no more
So
I wanna let it out
Wasn’t
ready then
But
I’m ready now
I
want my friends to know me
Like
really really know me
I
hope this doesn’t change things
They
say that boys don’t cry
But
news flash, that’s a lie
I
don’t fit inside your boxes
I
can’t stop this no
So
I’m counting down
Unlock
my cell
And
come on out
Oh
my
Beautiful
bliss
I’m
so foreign to this
Tell
you what my walls know
Here’s
my first hello
Oh
my
Such
a relief
I
can be me
I
don’t put on no show
It’s
my first hello
Los
Angeles, May 14, 2026
Reprinted
from My Queer Cinema blog (May 2026).
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