Thursday, June 25, 2026

David Velduque | No Place Like Home / 2017

sometimes you can never go home again even for a visit

by Douglas Messerli

 

Marco Laborda and David Velduque (screenplay), David Velduque (director) No Place Like Home / 2017 [7.10 minutes]

 

I have to admit that I have grown exceeding tired of contemporary gay films that use narrative to cover over the fact that the filmmaker has chosen faces over actors.

    What generally happens is that all true characterization disappears, as it does in this film by Spanish director David Velduque (the film is in English), in which the logic of character gets completely lost in an absolutely unbelievable narrative arc.


    Niko (Marius Praniauskas) has obviously moved away from his eastern European homeland to seek out freedom and sex in the city. Apparently he not only discovers it, enjoying his new liberation, but has dozens of new friends, including a female, Alex (Alexandra Prokhorova), who loves him for whom he is, as opposed to trying to make him over as a sexual partner. Evidently, he has even found a boyfriend (Christian Escuredo) who we see making love to our narrative hero.

     Quite inexplicably, particularly since we are not allowed any development of character, our vague “hero” decides to return home, despite the forces that led him to his escape, because of his mother’s presumed illness.


      The monstrous mother (Gillian Apter), whom only a dumb and struck-blind son could still love—and in this case even forgive—is not at all sick, but has apparently lured her son back to so that she might call up the local homophobic goon squad of cousins and other relatives, who beat him, perhaps sexually abuse him, and even possibly castrate him. In such narrative documents, however, the actual dramatics are simply symbolized, and never fully revealed.

       “Home sweet home,” if there ever was such a place, has clearly become a location of torture and destruction. What a dumb kid Niko must be to have believed it possible after having lived the life of gay Madrid to even imagine that he might return home to some remnant of love and repatriation.

     I this movie teaches anything, it is the sage warning of hundreds of fictions and films before it, “You can’t go home again.”

       I guess our gullible provincial never heard those stories. But since we haven’t developed any true empathy with him, presented as he is as only a narrative presence, how can we even be expected to truly care? We watch in horror, but we almost knew what was coming before it happens.

      Sorry, Dorothy, if you believe after Oz you can go back to Kansas, well good luck to you. The patriarchal Eastern European culture is even worse. Poor Niko was a fool to be so hoodwinked.

     It is hard, alas, to even feel sorry for him. If your mother and father sent you running from your home, surely it’s not worth trying to reconcile. No parent feeling true love could possibly let that happen. Of all the provincial love films I witnessed, this is surely the most unbelievable.

 

Los Angeles, June 25, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (2026).

 

 

 

Elegance Bratton | The Inspection / 2022

inspecting the self

 

Elegance Bratton (screenwriter and director) The Inspection / 2022

 

Although there are numerous “inspections” throughout writer and director Elegance Bratton’s moving new film The Inspection, the title, I’d argue, refers not to an incident, but the broader inspection of the central character Ellis French’s (Jeremy Pope) inspection of self and identity.


     We’re not talking here about whether Ellis is able to accept his gay sexuality—he’s long known who he is after years of torture and punishment through the hands of his own mother Inez (Gabrielle Union) who threw him out of her house at age 16 and through living on the streets, mostly as a homeless man ever since. Ellis not only knows who he is but has, without bitterness, hardened into an identity that will help to protect him in the new world he has determined to enter.

     The inspection Ellis explores—based on Bratton’s own life experiences—concerns whether or not he is capable of fitting fully into not only the larger community from which he’s long been ostracized, but the most exclusive and elite of worlds into which only a very few are invited, and even those often broken by their many initiations. As the commanding officer Laws (Bokeem Woodbine) makes clear from the beginning of Ellis’ internment, he would just as well send all the boys suddenly come under his temporary command home crying if they cannot become the toughened killing machines into which he will attempt to mold them.

     What Ellis must discover is not only if he is able survive this new world into which he’s almost inexplicably thrown himself, but if despite the tough hide he’s developed against the sexual taunts and abuses of his life, he can in seeking out this new unyielding identity still remain himself, actually a loving and caring man despite all the suffering he has experienced.


     Throughout the film, Ellis looks into a mirror to see who he now is and if he can still spot the truth of his full being behind the shorn haired image he sees looking back at him in the mirror. It’s not an easy mix.

      We’ve seen plenty of films about the Marines and other military initiations, including Full Metal Jacket and An Officer and a Gentleman (the latter not about the Marines but the Navy Officer Corps but similar in its initiatory activities) to know that the grit and grime of the daily grunt work, the dangerous episodes in trying to bring in a drowning man who in his fearful flailing can drown his savior, the gruesome target tests, and the final sprints through the gauntlet of mud, barbed wire, wall-climbs, pullups, high wire-like walks, leaps, and drops. But it is the daily grind of abuse and degradation not only by the commanding officer and his staff but from the fellow recruits who competitively battle each other with as much hatred as they have received from those above that most hurts.

      Add to that the sexuality Ellis must hide or in the case of one of the recruits Ismail (Eman Esfandi), the religious degradation he must endure, as well as the common problems that young recruits have with uncomprehending outside families and lovers, and multiply that by all the sleepless and sexless nights and you can only begin, perhaps, to know the horror of trying to fit in to the new family in which you’ve asked to become a member..

      In Ellis’ case his own body gives him away in the shower, as for only a few moments his mind wanders into a lustful fantasy involving all the male bodies within immediate reach. And erection spells his complete ostracization and continued taunting by his fellow recruits and yet further and more specific abuse from the likes of Laws who is not only ready but totally desirous of drumming out any insinuated queer. We must remember that the time of this film, 2005, still stood with the impossible military stricture, “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” which meant that even if, as does Ellis, one maintained complete silence with regard to sex, because they couldn’t ask, they simply presumed his sexuality and judged him unworthy accordingly.


      Amazingly, Ellis discovers a strength within that makes him a near perfect soldier. But nonetheless he is nearly drowned by the officer he is asked to save in the swimming maneuvers. Finally, coming to at the last moment Ellis is ready to report of the officer knowing that the action was quite intentional. He boards the vehicle that will take him to the head officers’ quarters but another officer of the group, who you might describe as the “good cop” to Laws’ bad policing, Rosales (Raúl Castillo), reminds him that he reports the incident, Laws and his type will have won, and Ellis will be forced to leave in one way or another.

      Despite that fact that he can no longer even sleep in the same space as his fellow recruits and they have begun to completely shun him, Ellis returns without reporting the incident and moves on in quiet mental regurgitation of the facts, another aspect that he must inspect while looking upon his face: is he turning into a machine of anger and hate?

      A second test occurs during the shooting trials. Ellis shoots well, but with the help of the squadron leader (McCaul Lombardi) they report that he has missed the mark in all his trials. He challenges the report, and fortunately another of his peers saw where the bullets really landed. Laws is forced to give him another chance as the sun sets. And this time he proves his worthiness.

     Gradually others also begin to emotionally break down, at a Christian Church Service Ishmail, abused for being Muslim, has had enough and heads to the bathroom in tears, Ellis reaching out with a hug to him to reassure him that he still at least one friend.

     At another moment a recruit whose wife or girlfriend is obviously on the verge of leaving him, breaks down, and Ellis is there for him as well.

     Often given night guard as punishment, Ellis must watch over a room full of men masturbating under their blankets lit up with small flashlights to see the porno pictures one of their group has smuggled in through the gift of a Bible.

    Homoeroticism is rampant in the world wherein one is required to rely on his nearest male companion for his very life; but let it sweep him away as it sometimes does Ellis, and he demolished. The very camaraderie at the center of the military world is a danger to Ellis’s survival.

      Despite everything, Ellis makes it through while still maintaining his humanity.

      But when he finally gets through to his mother in an illegal nighttime phone call in an attempt to plead for her to attend his final graduation ceremonies, she is noncommittal and hangs up. He has no one to turn to but must bear his pain alone in the quiet of the night.

      His mother, Inez French, who works as a prison guard, does finally attend the ceremony, arriving at the last moment. And the proud marine now joyfully takes her to a lunch of lobster and seemingly excellent cuisine, about which she, who we’ve seen earlier eating stews she keeps simmering on the top of her stove, can only complain.

       Yet she too seems happier, for the first time willing to even talk to her son When he tells her that during the short leave he has before his assignment he plans to rent an apartment near her, she insists he return home—a ramshackle mess of an apartment which we’ve witnessed in that early scene. As an office, she beams, all the women in the neighborhood will line up for her son, the choice being his alone. He reminds her that being a marine hasn’t changed his sexuality.


      Furious, she stands, attempting to expose him in front of all the celebrating graduates, their families. and the officers, for being a fag. Ellis begs them to ignore her, and together they chant of the pride for their own kind, while an officer quietly escorts her out.

       Joining her in the hall, we see a broken woman, who knows she has forever lost her son to her own bigotry, despite his assurance that he has not abandoned her. Her final statement to him is a both an amelioration and a curse: “I’ll love you always until the day I die.” She pauses in might have been a resolution, “but I can never accept you for you who you are.”

        What is clear, however, is that it is not Ellis who needs acceptance, but that she has lost herself into irreparable hate, her homophobia having so scarred her soul that it makes her own love meaningless. No matter what she might imagine, it is Inez who is now the bitter outsider.

      At one point, late in the film, after having several fantasies about Rosales, Ellis attempts to make sexual contact with the man who has helped to keep him going, the officer immediately telling him to leave the shower and wait for him outside. There he tells him he has supported him, perhaps even protected him not out of sympathy for homosexuality, but in an attempt to make him a soldier, not so very differently from Laws’ goals, simply through other means.

      He then says something that sounds quite nice in our seemingly open age of pretense about all things LGBTQ. If were to get rid of every homosexual in the military, he argues, there wouldn’t be a military force.

     It sounds nice. But I don’t believe it for one moment. Given even the current statistics of the percentage of homosexuals in relation to heterosexuals, and then accounting for those obvious fewer homosexuals who might sign up for military duty, the numbers—although the numbers may be far greater than we might imagine—simply can’t add up to make that sort of difference.     

      According to the newest statistics I could find on-line, only 6.1 % of the military today identify as LGBT, the Navy having the highest concentration of 9.1 %. The size of the military in 2019 was 1,388,000 individuals, which would mean that over all 85,000 men and women identify as homosexual. That is indeed a great many individuals in a world, remember, where you are now permitted to “tell,” about 85 battalions (battalions each made up of about 1,000 individuals).

     Moreover, the Marines is the smallest of the military corps in the US, with only about 220,000 currently enlisted. To take away the 6% of that number, 13,200, would leave a much smaller Marine corps of about 207,000 men and women, a whopping 16% of them being women. It certainly does change the statistics, depleting the service, however without truly wiping it out

      I think what Rosales is suggesting is that given the tight quarters and communal dependency upon one another demanded for survival, that many who do not identify as homosexual still engage in and depend upon sexual release in the company of and even perhaps engaging with bodies of one another. More importantly, if their stated mission to protect the citizens of the country, the complete banning of all homosexuals would create a kind of homophobia that would be as destructive as that from which Ellis’ mother suffers, making their love of country impotent and meaningless. In order to save a population, you need to love it, not hate everything that stands in your way as Laws seems to imply. What Ellis himself has learned, and Rosales is reflecting upon is that Ellis is precisely the kind of man that through his introspection—his inspection of his own complex and contradictory being—that all the military forces most need. Men like Laws and the group squadron leader are naturally drawn to violence, but it is men who can employ violence if necessary but know the dangers it represents who are crucial for the survival of any military force. The outsider is perhaps what the insider most needs in order not only to survive, but as William Faulkner might have put it, to prevail.

     As Justin Chang nicely summarized the film in his Los Angeles Times review: “In its most moving and offhandedly momentous scenes, The Inspection becomes a chronicle of not just persecution and survival but also solidarity, in which this all-American brotherhood actually can function as advertised.”

 

Los Angeles, November 23, 2022

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (November 2022).


Robin Takao D’Oench | Hard / 2022

definition of a gay man

by Douglas Messerli

 

Corey Dashaun (screenplay), Robin Takao D’Oench (director) Hard / 2022 [12 minutes]

 

Mikey Johnson (Xavier Clyde) begins this short 12-minute film by attempting to fuck a girl in glasses (Nia Sondaya), who refuses to remove them. It’s simply not working, and she suggests they shift positions, she suddenly moving on top and aggressively pounding against him as if they were engaged in some Sado-masochistic ritual instead of mere copulation. By the time the credits arrive to announce the title, the couple have given up, she suggestion “I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to get…,” as the title of the film finally arrives.

     Mikey is disturbed by the situation and he directly tells us, checking up on his computer for the various reasons of erectile dysfunction, none of them sounding very encouraging for his future sex life. He even looks up about how to know when you’re gay, the entry suggesting that when you get an erection upon seeing another male you are probably either gay or bisexual. He checks out a gay porn site, only to be so absolutely inundated with gay porno images that he quickly turns his computer off, looking around to make sure no one has seen his brief adventures.

     He hears a sound of what might in fact be a burglar and takes up a bat, only to discover that his best friend Scottie (Christopher Pearson) is about to climb into his second-story bedroom window: “You know you’re mamma doesn’t like to have guests.”



     Scottie is bringing a treasure of an anime sex tape which he is desperate to share immediately with Mikey. But first he wants to know how everything went to between his bro and the girl. Mikey lies, describing it as a wild sex experience, Scottie reacting in an exaggerated manner much as his anime heroes might behave, Mikey commenting that “that’s what happens when you’re involved more with anime than people.”

      But when he calms down a little, Mikey admits the truth, they only kissed. And the two settle down to watch the film, Scottie peeling off his shirt because of the heat of the room, Mikey following.

      In the very next frame, they are both laying side-by-side on the bed, almost in a hug, having both evidently fallen asleep. Mikey awakens and looks down to discover that he has sprouted a huge erection, which he quickly covers with a pillow. Still the two remain embraced, Scottie awakening as well.



      Mickey asks, how his friend had known that he was lying, to which Scottie replies they have been friends together for such a very long time, he knows nearly everything about him. The two remain closely entwined and the camera closes down its lens.

       Will they engage in the expression love that goes beyond that of the deep friendship. Perhaps it doesn’t matter. Perhaps they already have.

Los Angeles, October 18, 2022 | Reprinted from World Cinema Review (October 2022).



Yann Gonzalez | Hideous / 2022

radical honesty

by Douglas Messerli

 

Yann Gonzalez and Oliver Sim (screenplay), Yann Gonzalez (director) Hideous / 2022 [22 minutes]

 

For around 20 glorious minutes, popstar vocalist for the indie band The xx, Oliver Sim, after being introduced by famed drag queen Bimini Bon Boulash, performs in what pretends to be a TV interview but quickly turns into a three-act musical with Fehinti Balogun (playing Seth, the TV Host), singer Jimmy Somerville (as The Guardian Angel), Tommy Hibbitts (The Queen of Doom), and the beautiful César Vicente (who previously played the naked seminarian in Pedro Almodóvar’s 2919 film Pain and Glory), along with Sim’s band members and Vampires’ Kate Moran.


     The result under the director of French-born Yann Gonzalez (known best for Knife + Heart), is something close to what commentator Lillian Crawford describes: “[The film’s] aesthetic blends into the matted purple hues of 1980s queer art, the music videos of Derek Jarman or the film work of James Bidgood. It’s the childhood of Oliver Sim, bassist and vocalist for indie band The xx, whose story the film tells. …Hideous is a glorious celebration of queer euphoria while also delivering a clear message about HIV/AIDS. Gonzalez crafts a stunning visual contextualization for Sim’s music, putting the spotlight firmly on him and the story he wants to tell.”


     Sim, performing three tracks from his newest album Hideous Bastards, first establishes his intense lack of self-assurance through the haunting overlaid repetitions of “Confident Man,” before he attempts to answer the TV Host’s question about his dark heart or inner monster. He argues that it takes so very many faces, a monstrous child crying out for help or as big and powerful as a werewolf, but most of the time “lost in the mist.” As he goes on to describe himself as a child, his own boyish self (Cameron Bell) finds himself watching the adult Sim on TV and recognizing it as his own self in another time and space.

      Sim speaks of his long fascination with female rage, “whether it be Ripley in Alien or Carrie or Jaime Lee Curtis in Halloween” and in living in house dominated by women where he could be as femme as he wanted. Asked what he might say if he were to meet up with his young self, he sings “Fruit”: 

 

Far too femme

Surrounded by rocks

You're gonna look the gem

You can dress it away, talk it away

Dull down the flame

But it's all pretend

It's all pretend

 

[Chorus]

What would my, what would my father do?

Do I take a bite, take a bite of the fruit?

I've heard other people say

It can't be right if it causes you shame

Have I made you proud?

Take a look at me now

If I've got my father's eyes

I've got my mother's smile

 

    It’s a painfully moving piece and this film is particularly effective when at the end of the song, he reaches out to touch his younger self’s hand through the TV screen.

 


     Even the camera and sound crew are nearly in tears, quickly dried as Sim cries out in horror, his face transformed into a horrifically green-masked Jimmy Somerville, a being a female crew member describes as “a fucking creep, he looks so weird.” Somerville becomes the monster Sim has been talking about, creating a blood bath of the entire studio audience before singing what has quickly become a ballad to LGBTQ excess, “Hideous.”

     Gonzalez flashes throughout images of outrageously costumed drag queens, kissing dykes in leather, males and females engaged in S&M activities, along with Vicente as the confused face of “beauty.” But ultimately beauty loves the monster, describing his as “so sexy,” as the monster turns away to howl out the last two stanzas of the song:

 

                                              Follow my voice

                                              Sweet nature boy

                                              Just to keep you safe

                                              Listen for me

                                              Be bright, have trust

                                              Just be willing to be loved


 


                                             Radical honesty

                                             Might set me free

                                             If it makes me hideous

                                             Been living with HIV

                                             Since seventeen

                                             Am I hideous?

 


     And we realize in Sim’s song just how hideous, indeed, LGBTQ individuals have appeared to heterosexuals throughout cinema history, how terrifying their presence has long been, and how, no matter how beautiful they might look, people will turn away in disgust. And in the end, Sim and Somerville reveal the deep angst perhaps of all queer folk in their deepest heart.

     If at moments this British short film—what might almost be described as a music video for his album—borders on camp, it is too honest and autobiographical ultimately to push it in that direction, and remains, accordingly, a sort of raw cry from a gay man’s soul.

    The director, himself, very nicely sums up this work in an interview with Ava Cahen:

 

“When Oliver Sim suggested I made a film from his music, I felt in him a transgressive, adolescent urge which I immediately related to. Tackling face on the very intimate topics and intense emotions of his songs, and smearing them with gore, eccentricities, queer wit as much silliness and naiveté we could take, such was our common goal. Oliver dreamed of having a monster as a protagonist; a tragic, grotesque monster, both fragile and flamboyant, around which we had to create a strange but familiar cocoon, a TV set shot as a theatre stage that opens on fantasy or the shadows of one’s memories.”

 

Los Angeles, April 11, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (April 2023).

 

 

 

Stephen Frears | My Beautiful Launderette / 1985

margaret thatcher wins the gay vote

by Douglas Messerli

 

Hanif Kureishi (screenplay), Stephen Frears (director) My Beautiful Launderette / 1985

 

Although Stephen Frears' My Beautiful Launderette is generally described as a comedy, and it often behaves as one, even ending somewhat positively, I cannot help feeling every time I watch this film, a bit dispirited, even depressed. I might almost describe the work as bleak. Perhaps it is just realistic.


     On the surface, I know I ought to feel happy for the gay couple at the center of this work. Both are beautiful men, Omar Ali (Gordon Warnecke) a handsome Pakistani man, Johnny (Daniel Day-Lewis) a good-looking British punk, who begins the film as a street tough, beating up on the Pakis who have found success in Thatcher's United Kingdom while their own families and themselves do without.

     Omar, living with his alcoholic father seems to have an impossibly temperate personality as he cleans and up and cooks for his bitter Papa, a former journalist who hates the London in which he lives and intends to raise a son who will be well-educated. He clearly would prefer to be back in Pakistan but has lost any wealth he once had. The film gets underway when he sends Omar to work for his brother Nasser (Saeed Jaffrey), who, as he later describes it, has learned to "squeeze the tits of the system." He puts Omar to work in his garage washing cars.

      Nassar has only a daughter, but his symbolic son, Salim (Derrick Branche), a young man he has taken on, earns his way by trafficking drugs. Just as he had joyfully served his father, Omar now pleasantly washes cars:

 

                              Papa: Tell me one thing because there's something I

                                        don't understand, though it must be my fault.

                                        How is it that scrubbing cars can make a son

                                        of mine look so ecstatic?

                             Omar: It gets me out of the house.

 

     In fact, Omar is incredibly ambitious, but in his quiet way he moves forward more quickly than if he had shown his intentions. For, within a few days, he has been introduced to Nasser's daughter Tania (Rita Wolf) with the intention of marrying the two and has been promoted by Nasser to take over a rotting launderette.

     By coincidence, Salim, his wife Cherry, and Omar are accosted by a gang of British thugs, led by Johnny, an old school chum of Omar's. Completely unfazed by the incident, Omar leaves the car, approaching Johnny:

 

                              Johnny: Like me friends?

                              Omar: Ring us then.

                              Johnny: I will. [indicates the car where Cherry is getting very

                                  angry] Leave 'em there. We can do something. Now. Just us.

 

     What quickly becomes apparent is that the two have had a sexual relationship, and now are quite ready to resume it, despite the vast differences in their stars, and before you can say Lahore the two are fucking in the back of Omar's launderette, for which Omar hires Johnny to help him remodel. For these two, love and money seem to be the tie that binds; as soon as Johnny has been hired, he leaves his gang of toughs, and the two men, stealing drugs from one of Salim's deliveries, transform their little rundown laundry into the beautiful launderette of the film's title.


     Of course, there are complex interludes, revealing a few of the differences between them: Omar is still expected to marry Tania and even proposes to her, the gang eventually comes down upon both Omar and Johnny, and as their shop is about to open, Nassar almost catches them at sex. And then there's Salim to report to for that little drug heist, which forces them into a robbery where we briefly see them accosting a young girl who has heard their entry into the house. But love and money seem to lubricate the wheels just enough that you know these two will succeed in life. Omar may never get to college, Nassar loses his British mistress, and Tania, running away from home, simply disappears between two speeding trains. Has she jumped onto the tracks?

     But with the final splash of suds as Omar and Johnny minister one another, wiping away the bruises of their encounter with the gang, we know they're going to get on just fine in this British capitalist world, while Omar's father will pine away in bed for the son he has lost.


     One can well understand why these two boys feel such love for one another, unlike Ang Lee's cowboys of Brokeback Mountain: both are blessed with movie-star looks. But it is almost impossible that they might truly patch up the vast differences of their pasts. Even though they are both outsiders, inside they must necessarily be still bruised by societal differences that are little explored in Hanif Kureishi's glib fairy tale. We might take notice of two changes in these men: the former teetotaler Omar is drinking heavily by film's end. And Johnny has become quite fashion conscious. Margaret Thatcher has clearly won!     

 

Los Angeles, May 23, 2020

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (May 2020).

Index to My Queer Cinema A-H

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