nowhere to go
by Douglas Messerli
Connor Clements (screenwriter and director) James
/ 2008 [17 minutes]
James by
Northern Ireland filmmaker Connor Clements is one of the most intelligent and
emotionally engaging of short films I have yet seen that explore the need young
boys have for older men who might explain and help them to explore their
nascent gay sexuality.
As
many young gay boys feel about themselves, James (Niall Wright) perceives that
he is an outsider both at school and at home. He has no close friends at school
and at home his parents (Margaret Goodman and Gerry Doherty) are locked into
never-ending battles with one another, his father even, somewhat
unapologetically, declaring that he never wanted the familial responsibilities
of which his wife constantly reminds him. He is so inattentive to his son that
he doesn’t even notice the lost and confused expressions of the tortured boy,
which his mother observes in frustration since James realizes he dare not
express his fears to her.
The boy perceives his gay desires, even going so far as to visit the
local public restroom, where an older man (Louis Rolston) tries to lure him
into a stall for a little sexual exploration or, perhaps even worse, into his
car with whatever destination he has he mind, despite his assurances of safety
James’ only friend seems to be his literature teacher, Mr. Sutherland,
who regularly loans him books. He previously has given him Electra to
read, with which James is almost finished but admits to not enjoying it.
Sutherland selects another book from his personal library, The Glass
Menagerie, in that gesture suggesting, as the film clued us in earlier when
the teacher was playing the piano for a chorus rehearsal, that the man may be
homosexual. James promises to take good care of the loaned treasure.
But at home the constant fighting of his parents gives him little time
for reading or even studying. James stays late in the school library to read
and, in part, to elude the school bullies; but when he forced to call his
mother to come pick him up because he’s missed bus, incurs her wrath as well.
He is in a spot where there is no way out, a place that the world in which he
and so many other boys of his age live that he might as well be walled away in
a prison created by people like us.
When, the next day, he meets up again with Mr. Sutherland, he finally
gets up the nerve to admit to him that he believes he is gay. The teacher
praises his bravery if revealing something so many others, perhaps even
himself, cannot. But he advises the boy not to share that information with
others.
But the “understanding” man can no longer be witnessed trying to consul the boy; surely endangered by the fact of his own sexuality and the inevitable suspicions of others that he may be grooming him for sexual encounters.
It
is a horrific catch-22 for James. The only person who can help him refuses for
his own (and the boy’s) protection. We live in times like these, in which those
males who might most be able to offer just what the boy is seeking, including
perhaps their first sexual encounter, are denied that possibility by societal
conventions and the suspicions of the prurient concerning pedophilia.
James has no other choice. We see him jump into the car of the man
waiting outside of the public restrooms, asking the question usually asked of
between two adult male lovers, “Do you have somewhere he can go?” The innocent
has been thrown to the wolf. Even if the gentleman is caring and protective,
his desires are clearly what dominate his behavior, and those will most
certainly have sway over anything else he might offer. That may, alas, be the
best thing for a child who has no other choices. But mightn’t we have wished a
better guide, a most trustworthy and responsible being to help the boy come
out? Yet we know, had Sutherland put away his fears, he would most certainly be
without a job and possibly living out his life in prison.
This is a frightening, but all too accurate portrait of what being a young gay boy often means in today’s societies.
Los Angeles, May 31, 2023
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