by Douglas
Messerli
Robert Smigel,
Adam McKay and Stephen Colbert (screenplay), Tony Eastman (head animator), J.
J. Sedelmaier (director/designer) The Ambiguously Gay Duo: Safety Tips /
1997 [TV animation]
Number 4 of the 12
episodes of The Ambiguously Gay Duo, created by Robert Smigel and J. J.
Sedelmaier, voiced by Stephen Colbert, Steven Carell, and Smiegel, and
broadcast on The Dana Carvey Show before moving to Saturday Night Live, is
devoted to the fairly innocuous subject of “Safety Tips.”
In this segment, the cartoon adventure duo,
Ace and Gary, fly in to ambiguously help—a bit like the “Boys Beware” series of
the 1960s—educate three young boys about how to carefully protect themselves in
their daily activities and prove that “fun and safety can go hand-in-hand.”
Willy is impressed that the heroes appear on their very own street, but Butch is skeptical relating that he’s heard “They’re fruits.”
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They first show the proper way to ride a
bicycle, in this case obviously a bicycle built for two. To get the attention
of night drivers, Gary shows the proper reflector suit to be sure that he’ll be
seen, featuring, in particular, a reflector that lights up his penis. Butch is
now sure that he’s right about his evaluation, but Willy suggests it doesn’t
mean anything.
Soon after, Ace pats Buddy on the ass, as in
the next instant he and Gary walk hand-in-hand, instructing the boys that they
should always hold hands when crossing the street, and use the “buddy system” in
all unsafe situations—like swimming, bike riding, and showering. Even the
youngest of the street trio now declares they’re gay, although Will insists
that the squirt doesn’t even know what the word means.
At the boys’ house they advise them to
never pull out a plug, but to grab it ‘by the male end and stick into the
hole—and don’t play with it.” Ace adds, “Right, don’t pull it out, just leave
it in.”
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Before long they’re advising their young
students to break down the wall down between the living room and dining room since
it “opens up the area and gives a better sense of flow from one room to the
other,” as if they suddenly had tuned into the 2003 series Queer Eye for the
Straight Guy.
In their final lesson they take the kids
in their car while Gary, bending deeply over Ace, checks just to make sure the
safety break is off. Winding up in the Commissioner’s office, he suggests it’s
time to the boys to return home, they all now having long been assured of their
heroes’ queer behavior.
Ace and Gary ask if The Commissioner
might be interested in practicing some CPR techniques, Gary gladly laying out
his body for the experimentation, but the Commissioner demurs, and the duo is
off into the world of their own deeds where they declare themselves “gay like a
fox.”
Los Angeles, June
14, 2024
Reprinted from My
Queer Cinema blog (June 2024).
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