Alfred J. Goulding | A Gasoline Wedding / 1918

i can cook too

by Douglas Messerli

 

H. M. Walker (screenplay), Alfred J. Goulding (director) A Gasoline Wedding / 1918

 

A wealthy Man is hosting a garden party at which have gathered most of his beautiful daughter’s (Bebe Daniels) numerous suitors, the father intending to choose among them. All are friendly, even self-congratulatory as they appear to engage in an orgy of cheek-kissing in the manner of the French. That is until the leading figure, Angus McCheapskate arrives declaring himself the most qualified of all since he snores only out of one nostril and needs his feet rubbed only three times daily.

     The girl’s father definitely approves of Mr. McCheapskate. But meanwhile Harold (Harold Lloyd) arrives in his self-determined auto, anchoring it in place—since it has a tendency to drive off by itself—and polishing its nose to keep it friendly.

     The two guards at the mansion gate make it definitely clear that Harold is not invited. But this is not the meeker version of the Harold Lloyd who later stars in his shorts and features, but a brash young man who flits with and confuses the guards until he finally makes a forbidden entry, immediately attracting the attention of the girl who can’t stand the Neanderthal with a bankroll who her father wants her to marry.

     Attempting to play a game of croquet, the girl quickly perceives that her boyfriend doesn’t know how to properly engage in the game, hitting the ball with such a force that it lands on McCheapskate’s head, a second upon her father’s. Within minutes, Harold has managed to offend and anger the entire crowd, and the father is determined to force his daughter to marry McCheapskate by kidnapping her and hurrying them both off to the local minister.

      Overhearing his plans, the girl quickly promises her butler, Snub (Harry Pollard) that he won’t have to polish the silver all afternoon if he’ll only costume himself in a dress from her wardrobe. He readily agrees.

      Meanwhile, the girl and Harold attempt to speed off to the minister, thwarted however by the whims of Harold’s temperamental auto. When it finally seems to run out of gas, both get under it in an attempt to fix it, while the car appears to explode in their faces, the couple climbing out from under with faces of smudged exhaust.

      The car starts up of its own accord and begins once more to speed away, as they catch it, jump on, and arrive finally at the busy minister, who marries them in a manner of minutes. At that very moment, her father arrives with McCheapskate and the blanketed bride-to-be. The minister marries them just as speedily.

      Suddenly seeing his daughter and Harold standing together in an embrace, the father and the wealthy man who supposedly just married the girl wonders who, in fact, is under the sheet to whom he has just promised to love until death do them part. It is revealed, of course, to be Snub, who seems almost delighted with the turn of events, promising his new husband “At least I can cook.”

      One might describe this odd comic work as being less of a drag marriage than a hidden romance.

 

Los Angeles, November 6, 2022

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (November 2022).