Mark Marchillo | The Curse of the Un-Kissable Kid / 2013

i’m just wild about harry

by Douglas Messerli

 

Mark Marchillo (screenwriter, based on a story by him and Matt Marr, and director) The Curse of the Un-Kissable Kid / 2013 (13 minutes)

 

Marchillo’s message, aimed at younger kids in The Curse of the Un-Kissable Kid is far more charming and, in the end I believe, helpful in permitting seemingly unloved gay boys come to terms with childhood dilemmas than is Adam Baran's Jackpot, another one of the films connected in gay magic.

      It begins with the school bully Ryder (Joseph Haag), on the very last day of school, searching through the men’s room to find and torture the young boy Josh (William Leon). Josh, meanwhile, is hiding out in the women’s bathroom, but even when he finally escapes from his hideout there he still meets with the bully who throws him to the ground, spits on him, and throws dirt and grass on his face.

      A meeting with an obviously queer Principal (Drew Droege) does nothing to improve the situation since he is obviously more interested in completing his crossword puzzle than in meting out any fair punishment to the attacker, arguing to Josh that he simply needs to learn to fend for himself, obviously sharing the viewpoint of director Adam Baran.

     At home after the event, as Josh hides out in his locked room, we perceive that his father (Brady Matthews) is no better than the school administrator in actually communicating with his son, suggesting that everything is okay even if he doesn’t want to open the door and talk to him and his wife. Every choice for them seems to be based on whatever least troubles their son; so empty are their attempts in communication that while his father speaks, Josh opens his bedroom window and escapes.

      He rides his bike immediately over to the town fair, meeting up with his best friend Caitlyn (Liv Southard) who is out strolling with a friend whom she introduces to Josh as “just Clark” (Christopher Bones) who she is apparently using as a carrier for stuffed animals she’s won, candy cotton, popcorn and whatever else one accumulates at such county and town fairs. She met Clark, so she tells Josh, at day camp, leaning closer to whisper to her friend, “He’s rich.”

     But almost immediately Josh spots his nemesis once more, and again is on the run, with Caitlyn screaming after, “I seriously think you’re helpless without me, helpless.”

      With no place else to go, Josh slips in the back of a small tent announcing that there is a “gypsy inside.”

     In the dark, Josh is suddenly accosted by the gypsy (Lee Meriwether) who declares: “I’ve been waiting for you. Quite a long time.”

      “I have to go see my friends,” he insists, to which the gypsy answers, “No, you have no friends.”

      And like all such county fair gypsies, when he begs to know how much it’s going to cost she asks him to close his eyes.

      We are, of course, getting near to the territory of another great adult children’s tale, The Wizard of Oz, and like the male gypsy in that work, she finds out a great deal about him from simply by riffling through his pockets, pulling out a five-dollar bill, and offering him something that she is certain will work for him, a special potion which she insists will make all of his problems disappear. She hands it to him as he stares at her in vague wonderment, she snapping him back to reality by demanding ten bucks!

     Outside the tent again, he opens the elixir and drinks without even reading the label. When he finally reads the fine print he discovers: “Congratulations, after drinking this you will disappear within 24 hours unless you experience true love’s kiss.” A rather astounding demand to suddenly put on a 12- or 13-year-old who clearly also has other problems to face. “Good luck with that,” the bottle’s fine print message concludes.

      By the next morning while he sits in a garage with Caitlyn who is apparently attempting to sell encyclopedias, he explains his situation, putting his hand out to reveal that already it has begun to fade. “What am I going to do?”

      “Well, I guess you’re just going to have to kiss around a bit.”

      For a moment he looks back at her, an unspoken pleading in his eyes to which she reacts: “What? Oh no you don’t” Clearly she’s not the true lover he’s seeking. Yet he still tries, complimenting her on her looks, and remarking on their long friendship; but the moment they move together to possibly kiss, her mother appears, shocked and ranting against even the possibility of her baby being kissed my a boy: “My God. You know what happens to little girls....they grow up and become hookers.” Clearly, her mother, like Josh’s Dad, does not offer successful parenting skills.

      Josh is on the run once more. And his whole torso is now beginning to fade in and out. He attempts to rush up to several women, who quickly rebuff his attempted kisses. When he tries to kiss a baby, the mother hurries off with the child in the carriage. Even a dog runs off. When he attempts to pay a young hooker, she grabs the money, shakes her head, and walks away.

      Back at the fair, Josh mans a “kissing booth,” with Caitlyn trying to sell tickets in support of “ugly orphan babies.” “Maybe you should change your hair,” she suggests, trying also to reassure him, “It will be okay.” Finally, she leans quickly forward and plants a kiss on his lips. For an instant they both think maybe...until he looks down to see his legs have left his pants.

     Suddenly someone comes up to the booth to buy a ticket. It’s just Clark, who kisses Josh on the lips giving Josh immediate new life, Caitlyn nodding to the camera, “I knew it.”

      Looking down to see that his legs have returned, Josh says, “Thanks Clark,” to which the other boy replies, “It’s actually Harry. Caitlyn just doesn’t like it.”

      A few second later the boys go into a rousing dance number of “I’m Just Wild About Harry,” and Caitlyn suggests the bully, Ryker, take a drink from the still half-full bottle that Josh bought from the gypsy. Assuming it’s alcohol, he complies.

 

Los Angeles, July 19, 2021

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (July 2021).