a natural man trapped by conventions
by Douglas Messerli
John Carey and Adam Darke (directors) Forbidden
Games: the Justin Fashanu Story / 2017
Fashanu, who had long been recognized as a young footballer in the
county where he had grown up, Norfolk, with his younger brother John, had
become famous through the British telly when he scored a nearly impossible goal
against Liverpool by kicking the ball into the left corner, slipping it deftly
beyond the goalie’s reach, for which he won the 1980 BBC Goal of the Season
Award.
Meanwhile, Justin’s beloved brother John who was nearly fathered by
Justin as he was growing up, far less talented that the elder, continued to
work his way up the leagues, playing soccer with lesser teams, but becoming a
solid scorer who came to be respected by all.
If
Justin Fashanu’s story were nothing more than this, it might have represented
yet another version of the often-told stories of figures such as Norman Maine
in A Star Is Born or even Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront, the
latter of whose elder brother asked him to throw a boxing match (Fashanu began
his life as an upcoming boxer), ruining his career and life.
Yet Fashanu’s career as a footballer is almost insignificant given all
of the myriad other difficulties he and his brother John faced. First of all,
when their Nigerian father left their mother Pearl to return to Africa, leaving
her in near poverty and unable to raise her large family, she left the two boys
at a Barnardos orphanage, while taking her other two children into her own
home.
The young boys could never comprehend nor forgive her for that act, despite the fact that they eventually became foster children to what apparently was a loving and sustaining white family, Alf and Betty Jackson, in the small Norwich village of Shropham. Throughout their growing up Pearl attempted to explain to them that what she had to offer was far less that the life they were living; yet, even as she puts it, Justin never could accept it, the facts simply not registering in his brain.
As the only two black children for miles around, Justin and John, we can be certain in those days of institutionalized racial hatred, felt deeply isolated, to say the least, particularly living within a world that when Justin and his brother began to play soccer for Norwich filled with the air with racist epithets, along with banana skins they regularly tossed onto the playing field.
When his career began to nosedive, moreover, Justin became a born-again
Christian, preaching and proselytizing, somewhat hypocritically we can perceive
in hindsight, for a religion that were he not still a kind of celebrity, might
otherwise have refused him entry to their congregation. His sister, who claims
she was not even a Christian, remembers Justin even trying to convert her.
I
am not at all surprised by this given the fact that underneath these numerous
levels of pain and confused identity, Fashanu was also gay, not just passively
or occasionally as a man who was abashedly attracted to other men, but as a
kind of predator, who loved rent boys and even had affairs with an MP. Although
Fashanu’s behavior was not generally known at that time, his fellow on-field
players clearly knew he was gay, particularly since he often brought some of
his younger lovers into the dressing rooms.
Much of his problem at Nottingham had to do with highly respected
Clough, who was also homophobic and wouldn’t even let Fashanu work out with his
fellow players. As the directors also make clear through their rewinds of many
of the Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s speeches, she and most of her British
Empire were still highly homophobic, lashing out, particularly with the advent
of the AIDS epidemic, about their hatred of all things homosexual, disparaging even
the idea that proper people might allow a gay man even to enter their homes.
The laws, moreover, which might be said to be slightly more open than the days
that even being suspected of having gay sex might have landed you in jail,
still weighed unequally homosexual and heterosexual behavior. The legal age
permitted for heterosexuals was 16, while it was higher for gays, and sex with
someone of 16 was still subject to years of imprisonment.
In
1990, desperate for money to pay off his debts, Justin Fashanu leaked the story
to one of the most vicious of English tabloids, The Sun, that he was
gay, making him the first British footballer then who has ever openly admitted
his homosexuality.
The terrible backlash which he might have foreseen, but claims he could
not have imagined, made him later to backtrack some of his comments, claiming
after that he was bisexual and, at one point, desperately in love with actress
Julie Goodyear, while Justin also—in the terrible days when Prime Minister John
Major was Leader of the Conservative Party at a time many of his party members
were being accused of having homosexual affairs—made his own allegations
against parliamentary members.
Even a little empathy might help us to realize why this man was, as the
directors summarize, “never at peace.” With all the levels of hate leveled
against him, by the nation, his fellow players, and even his brother, with
rejection to his way of thinking by his father and mother, and now the many
teams for which he had since played, it must have seemed like a lovely respite
when he was invited to coach youth soccer in Maryland, where, as the police
where later to remind him, “Homosexual acts are illegal.”
Fashanu, as a dear friend tells us, loved teaching, and seemed to be
settling in quite nicely until a young 17-year-old, having shared with others
and evening of partying at Justin’s Ellicott City apartment, reported to police
that he had been raped, after probably having been drugged by the ex-soccer
player. The police visited Fashanu’s home, but did not arrest him. And the film
suggests that the young man in question was well-known by his peers as a
habitual liar, who made stories up so often that they literally ignored him.
Like director Roman Polanski—although under different circumstances,
Polanski’s sexual partner having been only 13, while the boy Fashanu was said
to have raped was 17—Justin fled back to England, where after visiting a local
gay sauna, he was found dead on May 2, 1998 of strangulation in a small garage,
evidently a result of suicide. He was only 37 years of age.
While John Carey and Adam Darke’s understated telling of this sad tale
asks far more questions—a bit disingenuously I suggest—that it provides
answers, it may help us see through to some truths about Justin Fashanu, and is
certainly a good starting place for an understanding of this complex athlete. I
can only wish for something like a full tragic opera or sincere drama worthy of
this man’s mostly innocent dilemmas. Not only were the “games,” both athletic
and sexual forbidden this haunted man, but his existence seemed forbidden by
the prejudices of the time.
Los Angeles, July 10, 2020
Reprinted from World Cinema Review (July
2020).
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