Madeline Kelly | Nineteen / 2015

before leaving

by Douglas Messerli

 

Madeline Kelly (screenwriter and director) Nineteen / 2015 [11 minutes]

 

A young 19-year-old boy Blake (James Fraser) has arranged for a call boy, Henry (Benjamin Mathews) to visit him in a motel room, already an odd twist given the fact that Blake certainly is attractive enough that we presume he might attract boys of his own or even older age.

     But as he showers, coughing heavily, we already sense something is different here, a feeling confirmed when as Henry quickly moves in for the sex act, Blake asks if they might first talk and admits it isn’t like he imagined. What quickly becomes clear is that Blake is also a virgin.

      Henry fortunately is empathetic and begins gently to massage the young boy’s neck, relaxing him before they finally fall into a kiss and embrace.

     After sex, Henry even asks vaguely if Blake might want to do something else, hinting at either some after sex play or a conversation, whatever the boy might wish. But Blake, seemingly satiated by the sexual act comments, “No, I think I get it,” presumably meaning he now understands the joys of gay sex. Besides, as he puts it, “he feels like shit.”

     Obviously, Blake is ill, and we suspect that it’s a serious illness, and that having realized his sexuality too late to fully suffer and enjoy the teenage angst and pleasures, he is now attempting to experience it before he dies.

     As the two dress, Henry stares at him, obviously perceiving the scenario I just suggested. Blake, aware of his feelings, declares he needn’t feel sorry for him. But he never pictured himself having sex with an old man—a strange statement indeed since Henry, at most, is in his late 20s. But a few years means everything to youth. Blake admits, that he should have done it a long time ago.

      But he is suffering and quickly asks Henry to bring him his pills. Afterword, Henry gently strokes the young man’s hair, noticing that he comes out in his fingers in clumps. “I hope this was good enough,” he quietly comments, Blake ironically responding, “It was the best I had.”

      Blake has called his sister Sophie (Shannon Ashlyn) and she is now outside waiting. The two boys leave the room, Blake handing over Henry’s payment, and Henry hugging the boy close somewhat to Blake’s surprise. Blake’s sister, who may have arranged the meeting, gives Henry a nod of thanks as she enters the driver’s seat, Blake looking back at Henry with a smile of wan pleasure and almost, strange to say, a nostalgia that is already sadly settling in for someone so very young.

      Inevitably, such a scenario risks a bit of sentimentality, but Australian director Madeline Kelly has done a near perfect job at keeping it in obeyance, focusing instead on one of the most significant joys this young gay boy experiences about his life before so quickly leaving it.

 

Los Angeles, October 8, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (October 2023).