junk
by Douglas Messerli
Noan Ribeiro (screenwriter and
director) Dudes / 2016 [15 minutes]
Like the feature film of the same
year Andrew Nackman’s Fourth Man Out, Noan Ribeiro’s short film Dudes
(2016) is a satire of four straight “dudes,” one of whom suddenly decides to
come out as gay to his bros.
Whereas, at least in Nackman’s work we saw the soft side of the gay
boy’s straight idiot friends in their attempts to hook him up with the right
guy, this 15 minute session with adult college boys who still behave like they
were 15 or 16—heavily drinking, playing computer games, and bragging about
their female conquests—are below par college chums, Matt (Jakeem Hawkins), Jay
(Anthon Meyer) and Bobby (Alexander Quitman Volpi), who can’t assimilate their
friend Denny’s (Michael Gmur) sudden admission of being gay.
a moment earlier, two of them suddenly grab their shirts or
sweaters to cover their scrawny torsos, put down their beers, drop their
mouths, and try to imagine all the times when their friend might have been
looking at their “junk” in the showers, or about the time when they went
camping and he might have “come on” to one of their cousins, or their having
missed the fact that he had taken an art class. Surely this explains why,
although he is friends with some of the “hottest” chicks in the school, he has
never bragged about his conquests.
Bobby’s question about whether he’s actually had sex yet—with a man,
almost makes the other two wretch. But at least he’s trying to explore the new
territory. Jay asks if he dates transsexuals. And Matt thinks of all the evil
things that he might have done in the past without them even knowing. It short,
these ignorant, homophobic slobs turn on their friend as he stands in a
position of inquisition with a sign, a rec-room decoration, behind him that
reads: “Road Closed.”
It’s not that Denny makes it easier, clearly having not purposely
decided to tell them that very day. He speaks haltingly, seemingly unsure if
he’s even really had a sexual experience with another man, never attempting to
truly explain or answer their absurd musings—although he certainly does deny
having ever tried to seduce one of their cousins, and explains that taking an
art class has nothing to be with being gay, and assures them that he has never
“looked at their junk.” But Denny is about as literate about the gay experience
as they are totally ignorant of it.
Clearly, he dresses better and seems far more intelligent however, and
he cannot help but wonder why he would remain friends with his old bros after
having long ago, evidently, come out—although he has still not told anyone else
including his parents.
Like Nackman’s film, the satire of straight dudes really doesn’t
resonate. Are they all so very dumb, relentlessly sheltered from the world
around them? Here one wonders if they’ve ever even stepped out of their game
room whose walls are covered with model planes and the shelves stuffed with toy
soldiers as if they are eternally arrested teenagers. Although that’s a useful
trope to describe the 20- and 30-year-old jocks who stand around bars and talk
about their favorite sports and female tricks, it all quickly wears thin when
played out in real time and space.
And if such behavior might actually be an exaggerated representation of
how such boy-men really behave, why would director Noan Ribeiro imagine that I
and other gay men might want to sit down even for 15 minutes and giggle over
their antics.
In the end, these guys finally find a use for their friend, who as a gay
man able to befriend women who they can’t get close to; might he put in a good
word for them? And Denny, evidently not a lot smarter these straight comic
cutouts, seems pleased with his new assignment. Apparently, he is probably is
into their “junk.”
Los Angeles, August 17, 2022
Reprinted from World Cinema
Review (August 2022).
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