Ang Lee | The Wedding Banquet / 1993

the best of all possible worlds

by Douglas Messerli

 

Ang Lee, Neil Peng, James Schamus (screenplay), Ang Lee (director) The Wedding Banquet / 1993

 

Before I hop up onto my bandwagon—which Ang Lee’s LGBTQ films inevitably and somewhat inexplicably lead me to do—perhaps I should give some evidence of my sanity and general fair mindedness by describing the good intentions behind his 1993 film, only his second feature, The Wedding Banquet.

     The story, bilingually presented in both English and Mandarin Chinese (something I highly admire) is centered around two gay men who have been living comfortably together for a number of years in one of those charming Brooklyn townhouses that in 1993 were still somewhat affordable. This couple, however—consisting of a Taiwanese immigrant, Gao Wai-Tung (Winston Chao), who heads a business centered around his real estate properties, and his lover Simon (Michael Lichtenstein), who is a physical therapist—can well afford the place. They live a seemingly near perfect life, the handsome Wai-Tung working out in the gym most mornings and Simon, who has learned basic Mandarin, cooking wonderful Chinese and other international dishes each evening. They have friends with whom they sometimes visit the bars and seem after five years to still be very much in love.

      The only thing that still rouses Simon’s ire is that Wai-Tung has never been able to tell his parents that he’s gay despite his living in a gay relationship. We well know today how difficult it is for gay men and women to break with the long traditions of Asian families who often still arrange appropriate marriages. Anyone who has seen the numerous movies, long and short, about young Chinese and Indian men and women today know the enormous difficulties involved, perhaps not as well perceived when Lee made this film.

      But now his mother is insisting that he must soon find a woman and has enrolled him in an expensive dating service. In order to be certain that they can find no one suitable he lists several seemingly impossible demands, that she be 5’9”, that she as two PhDs’, speaks five languages, is an opera singer, etc. The service selects a beautiful woman, Mao Mei (Vanessa Yang) who, despite that fact that she is only 5’8” and has only one PhD, does speak five languages and has sung in major opera companies, including the San Francisco Opera. His parents pay for her flight to the US, and the two meet up, she revealing to Wai-Tung that his father has been ill with a light stroke. She also demonstrates her musical talents, which, alas, Wai-Tung, not an opera aficionado, seems unable to appreciate. Fortunately, Mao Mei is herself hiding a relationship with a Caucasian man.

      Meanwhile, at Wai-Tung’s apartment building, one of his tenants, Gu Wei-Wei (May Chin), an artist who has lost her job again and is unable to pay her rent, is visited by her landlord to collect. Wei-Wei, a recent immigrant from Mainland China without a green card, is highly attracted to her landlord, and, despite his relationship with Simon—with whom she seems to have a better friendship than with Wai-Tung—continues to attempt to seduce Wai-Tung, offering him up a painting in lieu of her rent. In part, just to escape her wiles, Wai-Tung accepts her offer of a rather awful looking painting.

      Back at home, Simon suggests that in order to clear up the situation with his parents for once and all, that his lover should marry Wei-Wei, thus allowing her a green card, and resolving the marriage issue forever. But the moment their son announces his intentions to his parents, they announce that they are on a plane to witness the marriage. The two quickly remove all their personal gay images, hanging up traditional Chinese scrolls and putting out childhood photos of Wai-Tung. Since this film several movies have repeated the same scene, much more humorously however, since here it’s a rather serious endeavor. Simon meanwhile coaches Wei-Wei in all of his lover’s habits, body sizes, personal marks, and lifestyle. She turns out to be a quick learner, and of course in the process she will get what she’s always wanted, a marriage, even just on paper, with the handsome Wai-Tung as well as the necessary green card.

      The Gaos arrive, bearing gifts, including a gorgeous traditional wedding dress which Mrs. Gao (Gua Ah-leh) has saved and a large packet of money for the bride. The dress fits perfectly, and the previously wild-tempered and sweaty Wei-Wei transforms into the seemingly perfect daughter-in-law. Simon is introduced as Wai-Tung’s landlord, who somewhat inexplicably lives with his tenant. Simon pre-cooks most of the Chinese dinner, which Wei-Wei serves up to great acclaim upon their arrival from the airport.

      Their visit begins rather disastrously, however, as their son drags his parents off to the Brooklyn courthouse where, arguing that neither of them are interested in ceremonies, they plan to be married. The experience, wherein the Justice of the Peace (Michael Gaston) cannot even pronounce their names correctly, makes for a little comedy of errors while totally displeasing the father and mother who have come the long way to see a real wedding.

      Observing the look of total disappointment on their faces, Simon suggests that he treat them all to a dinner at one of their favorite Chinese dining spots. The restaurant, apparently, is not up to the Gao’s standards, but the owner, when he sees one of his few customers that evening, recognizes Mr. Gao (Lung Sihung) to have been his former “batman” (the personal servant of an officer) during the war with China. Hearing that it is Gao’s son’s wedding he insists on organizing an expensive wedding banquet—that of the title—truly celebrating in full style the wedding of his old friend’s son.

 

    The banquet is arranged, Simon and Wai-Tung’s friends quickly gathered up, and a true celebration occurs, pleasing not only Mr. and Mrs. Gao, but Wai-Tung’s old friends, most of whom have not seen him for years and know nothing about his being gay. A great deal of liquor is consumed and the party continues even to the bride and groom’s suite, the party-goers refusing to leave until the couple strip off all their clothing under the covers in bed.

      The unthinkable occurs, as Wei-Wei arouses her now bedded and very drunk “husband”; and when we next see them, some days later, Wei-Wei is pregnant, much to the delight of the Gaos.

       As one might expect, moreover, Simon is not at all happy about the situation and at one point the men’s relationship deteriorates into a shouting match between the three in front the Gaos, who fortunately do not understand English.

    At another point, Wei-Wei and Wai-Tung attempt to escape to visit an abortion clinic, as the suspicious Mrs. Gao attempts to prevent them by insisting she will join them. They finally drive away without her, but mid-way Wei-Wei insists upon stopping by for a hamburger and soon after tells Wai-Tung that she has decided to have the child.

       Soon after, as tensions continue to rise, Mr. Gao has another mild stroke and, after rushing from his office to the hospital, Wai-Tung finally admits to his mother that he is gay and his true relationship is with Simon, the startled but not completely unaccepting Mrs. Gao consoled by Wei-Wei who explains that she too once thought Wai-Tung might change, but now realizes it’s not something that cannot be altered, is not an attitude or a decision, but simply the way he is. They all agree to keep it from Wai-Tung’s father, fearful that he might have yet another stroke.

      Mr. Gao returns from the hospital, and the parents decide that as soon as he recovers they will return home, Simon telling Wai-Tung deciding that he too will leave him for his cowardice.

       Yet soon after, in a quiet moment alone with Simon, Mr. Goa demonstrates that he knows more than a few words of English and has been able to piece together the truth simply by observation. He not only thanks Simon for caring for his son, but gives him a “bongbao,” a substantial financial offering that is a symbolic admission of their relationship. He demands that Simon not reveal his secret, acknowledging that without the sham marriage, he’d never have been provided with a grandchild.

       By the time of the Gao’s departure, Mrs. Gao has developed a close relationship with Wei-Wei, and Mr. Goa, despite his wife’s refusal to hug Simon goodbye, warmly shakes his hand, all appearing to be happy with the final results, Wei-Wei now not only having a green card but a baby and a home in which to live and Simon and Wai-Tung pleased to become the fathers of a child—all long before gay surrogate babies and the idea of gay couples adopting children had become a major topic in film.

      In short, the film ends with a remarkable series of seemingly joyful compromises, make the film a truly conciliatory expression of the characters’ personalities and symbolizing what critic Elisabetta Marion has argued represents Lee’s intent of presenting a movie that that reaches “a peaceful coexistence between apparently irreconcilable cultures, without conferring the leading role on either of them.”

      This was one of the best-selling features of 1993, nominated for the Best Foreign-Language Film of the Academy Awards, and winner of the Berlin International Film Festival’s Golden Bear, as well was winner of several Golden Globe awards. My husband Howard, who just saw this film again after I re-viewed it, said he totally enjoyed the film.

      I saw it upon its original release in 1993, feeling about it very similarly to what I still felt this time in viewing it. And now from my band wagon I will proclaim I simply couldn’t abide its smug contentions.

      Let us begin over, with a little piece of information that I didn’t share, surely incidental to most viewings. The film does not begin with the two young boys deeply in love, but with Simon quite discontent over the fact that every time he plans a vacation for the two, Wai-Tung bows out due to the stresses of his job. The apartment building, perhaps only one of his many properties—we never quite know where his substantial income is derived—is, to put it politely, the next step up from what might get him the title of being a slum-lord. The building does not permit air-conditioning and is hotter than hell, the spaces are those precisely aimed at people as Wei-Wei, an always out of work, quite talentless artist, who tries everything she can to win over her gay landlord to seeing her as something other than a sweaty tenant disinterested in keeping a job. I should add that when he takes out the incredible talented and beautiful Mao Mei, Wei-Wei, having found a job and now serving as their waitress, is so furious in finding him with another woman that she immediately quits her new job, thus assuring that she will once more be unable to pay her rent, get a proper fan to cool herself off, or even pay for food beyond the cooked noodles she seems to consume. She is not at all the lovely daughter-in-law, Mrs. Gao later encounters, and not someone you might possibly consider as eventually a good mother.

      Indeed, the relationship between Wai-Tung and Simon is so ephemerally established that we truly don’t know what keeps the two together. Simon’s excellent cooking seems to be the major attraction other than their equally attractive physiques—the very same bonding force that seems to be behind the cowboys’ relationship in his later Brokeback Mountain, which also resisted establishing any notion of what a gay relationship might really mean other than sex. We never hear them discussing anything other than Wai-Tung’s parents and job, and there doesn’t seem to be anything substantive about Wai-Tung’s interests; all we know is that he’s not really interested in art or music. He never comments on Simon’s cooking.

      What’s worse, it seems to me, is that Wai-Tung is almost totally dishonest. He feels he cannot tell his parents, although we later discover they might have quite easily accepted the fact that he was gay; he cannot even be fully honest with Mao Mei, she being the one, having recognized the situation, to admit that she too is playing a game to please her parents.

      Indeed, the major incident of film is based on his and Simon’s elaborate lie about his marriage to Wei-Wei. But even here he seems to me to be totally selfish and unfeeling. How could he have imagined that his parents might be satisfied, given that he is so protective of their feelings, with a courthouse wedding. His stand-up marriage seems to be almost a punishment for them. And if he has been so adamant about not wanting to involve Wei-Wei and himself in ceremonies, how can he possibly agree to a huge wedding banquet that he knows is now not just a sham played out for his parents but all those who once knew him as a young man. He openly lies to all his old friends, forcing Simon to endure watching a heavy-kissing heterosexual ceremony at the event and, of course, to accept his bedding with the bride, to say nothing of engaging in unprotected sex in a time when the US was most aware of the AIDS crisis (the same year of the numerous movies about AIDS such as Roger Spottiswoode’s And the Band Played On, John Greyson’s musical satire about Patient Zero, Zero Patience, Derek Jarman's Blue, and Johnathan Demme’s Philadelphia all premiered). Wai-Tung has not even thought about bringing along a couple of condoms just in case.

      Interestingly, we do get a very brief glimpse of Simon on the street working with an ACT UP group, its pink upward pointed triangle standing out as a pledge of his commitment in a nearby poster; yet his companion seems totally oblivious to the fact of there is even a gay sexual crisis. One might have imagined that Simon and Wai-Tung might have discussed that issue among themselves earlier in the film. They discuss nothing but their missed vacation opportunity, and Wai-Tung doesn’t even really do that, promising Simon some other time in Paris.

      What follows becomes even more impossible to believe. We do know that Wai-Tung’s parents stay on longer than the two weeks they originally intended. Mr. Gao’s mild stroke extends their stay even longer. Let us imagine that they remained for three weeks more than the events of the marriage and banquet. Within that short period, Wei-Wei not only discovers that she is pregnant—possible only if she recognized that she had missed her period that very week, but possible nonetheless—but has begun to have the effects of pregnancy (she cannot bear to even look at sushi and is feeling even worse in the mornings) within the same time span. Again, although it is rare, it has happened; but generally, as I’ve read, it takes up to 8 weeks. Something doesn’t quite add up.

     All right, it’s a plot strategy that doesn’t quite make sense. Worse is the fact that the temptress Wei-Wei has finally found a way to get her man. Is it any wonder that Simon will no longer permit Wai-Tung into his bed, and that he announces that when the Gao’s leave, so will he.

     What happens to have him so radically change his mind? The money and recognition that Mr. Gao finally offers him? I doubt it. The inconsistency results primarily from the uncaring detail of the plot. So desperate are the creators to make everything right, despite the Gaos’ own deceit, Wei-Wei’s trickery, and Simon’s indecision, that it doesn’t even seem to matter. The father got his grandson, the mother her daughter-in-law, why shouldn’t War-Tun get his wife and baby and his gay lover both. After all, rich boys can afford another few mouths to feed. No need for an abortion here. With parents such as the Gaos and their son’s business savvy, he can have it all. And even knowing the truth now, the Goas have a wonderful book of wedding pictures which they can share with all their friends back in Tawain.

     What kind of mother Wei-Wei might make or what kind of father the busy, gym-obsessed Wai-Tung might be, doesn’t matter it appears since it will clearly be the gentle Simon’s role to bring up their son or daughter. I am sure if Simon can bear with the in-house duo, everything will be just fine for the child; but my sympathy out to the terribly abused boyfriend who cooks, cares about social issues, can truly take his patients out of their pain, and apparently is ready to take over the chores of family life while his lover does his shady business and Wei-Wei focuses on her quite meaningless canvasses until, in all probability, she grows bored with everything about her life. Certainly, in the group portrait of the three future parents, they don’t look very enthused.

     When I shared some of my feelings with others, they described me as being “picky.” But isn’t being “picky” or astute to the actions of others what real relationships are all about? Sorry, I can’t trust a director who isn’t careful enough about how he presents his characters with whom he expects me to share their joys and pronounce them commendable. Since no on in this pretend slice of life, expect perhaps for Simon, seems real enough for me to even believe them, how can I be expected to care about Ang’s movie?

 

Los Angeles, August 21, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (August 2023).