Liz Patrick | Straight Male Friend / 2023

the low maintenance friendship

by Douglas Messerli

 

Gary Richarson, Will Stephen, and Celeste Yim (head writers), Liz Patrick (director) Straight Male Friend / 2023 [3 minutes] [TV (SNL) episode]

 

On March 4, 2023, Saturday Night Live featured their in-house gay cast member Bowen Yang, playing Carson in a mock ad titled Straight Male Friend.

    The scene begins with Carson brunching with his straight girlfriends, including Heidi Gardner and Chloe Fineman, whom he toasts, one of them wondering if he will be joining them on a vacation at the Mexican resort Tulum. His other friend breaks down upon hearing the name since it was in Tulum she was to be married. Carson gladly comforts her with a hug, but turning directly to the camera, observes “as much as these girls mean to me, sometimes I need a break.

     And that’s when I discovered “Straight Male Friend,” as the camera switches its focus to a den in which Carson sits near tight-end football player Travis Kelce, that evening’s celebrity guest, the controls of a computer game in hand.

     “Straight Male Friend,” Carson continues “is a low-effort, low-stakes relationship. It requires no emotion commitment, no financial investment, and other than the occasion video game outburst, no drama.”

     Hang out with them as little or as much as want, it won’t affect the friendship, argues Carson.

   He leans forward to tell Kelce that he’s moving to Europe for seven years, the straight male, munching on chicken wings, responding, “Go! Tell me when you’re back.” Such a relationship, suggests Carson, is easy, and even if the straight make friend is having a rough time emotionally, “He’ll never bring me into it.”

      “Man, my dad died last week,” the slightly downcast straight male admits. Carson is a bit taken aback, but a few moments later, his friend waves his hands in dismissal, “It’s alright you know. You tried these wings?”

     Well, hanging out with a straight male friend isn’t perfect, Carson admits, and he may ask blunt questions about your sex life. Kelce asks, “So do gay guys like when a guy has a big one it a good or is it kind of a bad thing?”

      Carson pauses for a moment before responding, “It depends on the guy”—presumably meaning the gay guy not the one with the big cock.

     “Does straight male friend provide as rewarding relationships as my girls? No. Does straight male friend know my last name? No.”

      “So if you’re a gay guy who needs a break,” Carson continues, “come discover the casual low-effort friendship gay women have known about for years.”

      An announcer intrudes: “Straight male friend. Available everywhere except therapy.”

     In comedy routines like this, it’s the straight boy who finally becomes the stereotype, while the gay man confounds us for his even wanting to share his company. We have to ask, finally, when does he get the time to hang out with other gay men or share the bed with a queer partner? Perhaps they meet only on quick meet-ups through Grindr.

 

Los Angeles, September 3, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (September 2025).