Michael DePiro | Because of You / 2025

the terror of a kiss

by Douglas Messerli

 

Bryant Eberhart (screenplay), Michael DePiro (director) Because of You / 2025 [26.33 minutes]

 

17-year-old Brayden (Kellen Apple, billed here as Kellen Belle) is having problems. His parents, Ben (Dan Evers) and Kacy (KT Huckabee) are having difficulties even communicating with him, attempting to remind him about his college applications; and even his boss at the convenience shop in which he works, Gloria (Julie Chapin) notices that he is going through some difficult times, assuring him that she is willing to hear out his problems if he needs to share them.

      But things quickly look up for Brayden when he meets one his customers, Thomas (Chris Jehnert), a friendly cute, new boy in town, seemingly a few years older. They hook up just so that Braden can show him his depressed neighborhood, once evidently home to a major mall that his now fallen on bad times.

      We catch on almost immediately that Brayden is a gay boy whose silences and difficulties have mostly to do with his sexual confusion and insecurity, hardly new territory in queer cinema. Yet Brayden seems to be undergoing even more serious problems. As his father quickly discerns, his son has not been eating, and we observe Brayden vomiting. We can only presume he is bulimic. And finally, his parents confront him, demanding some sort of explanation. And as usual, when their son remains recalcitrant. The upshot remains what the father attempts to explain to his son: “We can’t help you unless we know what’s going on with you.”

      The trouble, of course, is that often even the 17-year-old finally recognizing his strange and queer desires doesn’t himself know what’s going on. He needs time to work it out himself, but there is no time; important decisions about his future, his education, his move away from home, all are staring him in the face.

      When Brayden finally walks away from his parent’s urgent pleas, it ends in a shouting match between father and mother, not a very reassuring response from the child.

       But he awakens to a call from Thomas, asking if he is ready to be his tour guide.

     The two boys have what appears to be a truly wonderful day together, just roaming the mall and the arcades that have replaced the former stores. They so enjoyed their day that Thomas asks if Brayden might be interested in hanging out with again.

        Even Gloria has noticed their rapport. But Brayden admits that he hasn’t really called him back since their first day-long meeting.

         Again, such details might be minor; Brayden seems to simply brush it off. But they are essential when someone like this boy is seeking another soul to whom he might talk to, explain, and explore the world with him.

        Gloria perceives that he is deeply hurt, but reminds him that not everyone is working against him, reassuring him quite beautifully that he will be alright. At the moment, she is the only force in his life who hints that she might even know of his difficulties, reassuring him along the way.

        But Brayden is not all right. He breaks down in tears in the bathroom. His fear, it is clear, that no one will like him enough to form a relationship, that we will be alone for the rest of his life.

         It is his mother, in a private chat, who explains just how much both she and her husband love him, care, and, of course, worry. She wisely suggests he spend sometime with himself, as long as he needs, while reminding him that they are still there to try to listen.

       In short, unlike so many of these coming of age dramas, this young man has support on many fronts. And the very next day he does finally hook up again with Thomas, planning for a meeting in the local park.

         Thomas explains that he too had been going through problematic times, the very reason why he moved away from his previous friends who had helped him become a virtual alcoholic, spending night after night with them drinking before realizing that they were not really his friends. And then one night ends with a physical alteration between him and his father. “He shoved me. And then I hit him, I hit my dad,” actions that led to his complete alienation from his parents.

     Thomas’ confession leads to the first time when Brayden steps up to take some responsibility, assuring his new friend and he is there for him, Thomas reassuring him that whatever is troubling Brayden that he will also try to help.

     But Thomas can’t answer Brayden’s desires. When Brayden admits that he feels better around Thomas and attempts a kiss, the friend that just promised that he will be there leaps up, attempting to make clear that he has no queer alliance, that he is fully heterosexual. Even worse, he runs off leaving Brayden even more in the lonely world he has been inhabiting. Why is a kiss, I can only ask, such a terrifying act that it sends other heterosexuals running in the opposite director. Mightn’t they accept it as a sign of affection before explaining they are not interested in gay sex? What is it about a kiss in US culture that so terrifies grown men and women?

     Brayden rushes home in despair, truly breaking down, his parents rushing up to his room with open arms and hearts. Enveloped in their love he can presume that Brayden survives, while his former friend, Thomas, is seen with a girlfriend in hand, pausing guiltily by the bench where he had abandoned Brayden. He is not a bad person, but like so many in society is a secret homophobe who couldn’t even see how excited the younger boy was around him and what it meant.

     If this film is strictly amateur soap opera, with acting that probably wouldn’t even make it onto a local community stage, and with a script that is far too declamatory—Brayden’s sort of semi-coming out is almost inverted, as his mother cries out: “We are who we are, honey, because of you”—we nonetheless are once more reminded of just how lonely and earth-shattering coming to terms with oneself as a queer being is for so many teenagers. Had I come home at that age and in tears confessed my sense of worthlessness, my father, had he suspected what the problem was, might have shown me the door. Here the father welcomes his son into his arms for a deep hug.

 

Los Angeles, April 21, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (April 2026).