the subject was blow-jobs
by Douglas Messerli
Josh Rose (screenplay), Emma Fine
(director) Sinnerman / 2023 [8 minutes]
The standard blurb for this British
short film, whether written by someone involved with the film or an IMDb
reviewer, comes close to being an outright lie, and if nothing else is
misleading:
“Sinnerman is a coming-of-age
drama centered around two young Jewish men who face the tough decision of
whether to embrace their secret relationship and leave their community, or end
their relationship and marry the girls that their parents have chosen for them.”
Both of these young men seem a bit beyond the age of “coming,” and
neither Rafi (Andrew Houghton) or Mark (Reece Evans) are really discussing the
issue of whether or not they might actually run away together as a gay couple.
Yes, there is evidently at least one girl down stairs (perhaps there are two)
waiting to get to know her future husband. But despite their two year of
regular sexual encounters, Mark, a cruel and glib, young man who clearly will
grow into a being that can justify anything to himself, has no intentions
whatsoever about describing anything he has had with Rafi the years as constituting
a gay relationship.
As Mark tells Rafi, it was all simply a bit of fun. Even though he was the
one who first enticed Rafi with a kiss, he has evidently controlled their
encounters with rules all along: no kissing, no shirt, etc. as if that would
determine that the blow jobs Rafi were giving him had nothing to do with being
a homosexual. He is evidently quite determined to get married, raise a family,
and lie to his wife when he sneaks out at night or weekends for a bit of same-sex
“fun.”
Meanwhile, Rafi has become completely obsessed with Mark, has apparently
fallen in love with him and shared all the things he could never tell anyone
else in the closed Orthodox or Conservative Jewish world into which he was
born. Rafi is not at all ready to get married, and is apparently unable to lie
to himself that everything will be just fine.
Yet, in being gay, he sees himself as afflicted, truly queer, almost maimed,
and has depended on Mark to share his love enough to help him find a way out.
Both boys are coward, unable even be strong enough to imagine breaking
away from their own family to save themselves from spending miserable lives in
the pretense of marriage, and passing that misery onto their children and
wives.
There is no real discussion here. Mark just describes Rafi’s confusion
as an obsession he developed with which he played no part.
Frankly these characters, particularly Mark, are so despicable that I
can find no sympathy for them or their situation. By this age they should have
already been off at university, and refused arranged marriages, and made up
their minds about their sexuality. At least Rafi realizes he is gay; while Mark
prefers a self-delusion which he will probably act out the rest of his life.
But Rafi is so weak that he will perhaps have to create his own excuses for
destroying the lives of his family as well.
In any event, according to Mark there is not “secret relationship,” just
a couple of boys filling their sexual needs. And neither of them are doing
anything to “face…tough decisions.”
What we witness in this short play is another moment in their cowardice,
and the beginning of lives of lies and familial suffering. Why should anyone
what to produce such a film in this day and age. If religion can create this,
the film has at least responsibility to openly say so instead making it appear as
if it’s just another force pulling at these poor, unfortunate babes. This is
not a film about gay love, but cock-sucking and the discovery, in Rafi’s case,
that you really like it. Waiting to years just to get another kiss is not my
idea of a relationship, sexual or otherwise.
The title seems to say it all. This is still a world were gay sex is a
sin. Frankly, I no longer give a damn.
Los Angeles, April 26, 2026
Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog
(April 2026).
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