Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Neo Li | Hank / 2019

the believer

by Douglas Messerli

 

Austin James and Neo Li (screenplay), Neo Li (director) Hank / 2019 [16 minutes]

 

Hank (Jason Stuart) and his younger lover Tommy (Jay Disney) have been together for more than 15 years, but as they both grow older, particularly Hank, they find their sexual lives lacking. Tommy, if nothing else, is in better physical shape, and it is he who seeks the possibility of an open relationship.


      On the morning we first encounter them, in fact, Tommy is expecting his new sexual partner in a few minutes. He does finally take a moment to make sure Hank is okay with the situation they are about to try out, and Hank is about to suggest that they have a further conversation about it when Tommy’s date Gio (Chris Boudreaux) show up to the door, the two immediately heading off to the upstairs bedroom.

     It is clear that Hank has serious doubts and certainly questions his own desirability, if not the viability of his long relationship.

     Hanks heads off the clinic where he works. But he doesn’t go to the clinic but attends a group meeting headed by Paul (Douglas Scott Sorenson) made up of individuals who are trying to learn how to cope with their lives living in Los Angeles, although it appears to lack a particular focus, and Hank, asked to share his problems with the others, shies away from going into particulars.


     Hunter (William Nicol) runs after Hank after they group breaks up, befriending him and suggesting that he has gone through the same experience. Hanks is uncomfortable with the friendship, particularly when he hands him his phone number suggesting they might sometime want to get together for a beer, watch some Netflix, or just have a little extra fun.

      Hank, formerly from Texas, stops into what appears to be a West Hollywood country western bar, where several dancers are engaged in an old-fashioned hoe-down line dance. After a couple of beers Hank, caught up in the spirit of something from his youth, joins them.


     He’s a fairly good dancer, and the younger group readily encourage his participation, but already feeling the liquor along with the twists and turns of the do-si-do’s, he quickly loses balance and as he falls into a couple of obviously straight cowboys, he is picked up by the club bouncer and thrown out unto the street.

     Since his nose is slightly bleeding he checks his pockets for a tissue discovering the napkin upon which Hunter left his phone number. Apparently, they decide to hook up for sex, Hunter obviously suggesting an isolated canyon spot where everywhere one looks they are “No Trespassing” signs.


    He enters a cave wherein Hunter sits in waiting. They begin to kiss, and within minutes somehow Hunter has convinced him to put on a blindfold and he removes his shirt and pants, heading off with the clothing, and just as importantly, his wallet. Left alone in his undershorts, Hanks suddenly recognizes he’s been taken by a crook, and feels even more foolish for the entire series of events that have led up the event. Where does he even go from here?

     He somehow gets back home late in the evening, having to knock on his door since the robber has carried away his keys. On top of everything else, Tommy is pissed since in Hank’s absence the electricity has evidently been turned off; Tommy has forgotten to pay the bill. “You have job around here, and now I can’t even turn on the air-conditioning,” his lover fumes. He wonders if Hank has done this on purpose because he was jealous of him and Gio. And finally, he notices that Hank is standing in the room without any clothes.

     “Tommy Davenport,” Hank responds, “I am not okay about having an open relationship. I know that I’m fat, I’m old, and I’m bald. …Even when you tried to ruin your entire career with drugs and alcohol, I believe you. I didn’t do that because I had to. I did that because I loved you.”



    He grabs his bathroom, puts it on, and strolls back outdoors. Tommy follows and Hank goes to him and kisses him, but when Tommy tries to return the kiss, Hank turns away, walking off to observe the inexplicable fireworks exploding in the sky.

     If nothing else, the subject this short film brings up, the difficulties of maintaining a relationship as a couple ages, particularly when one is a few years younger, is a worthy one. But this film’s plot is more than a little preposterous. Even if we can accept the ridiculous series of events that Hank’s undergoes in this single day, how he even travels around the city from the urban cowboy bar to the canyon cave and back to wherever their home is located, apparently without the help of a car is not only explicable but somewhat absurd.

    Even more importantly, so many other details just don’t add up. Hank reports that he’s been married to Hank for 15 years, although in Texas gay men were only able to marry in 2015, while he utters these words in a movie made only 4 years later.

     Finally, when his partner attempted to “ruin his career,” in what did he believe? In lies he was told?; or does he mean he believed in and supported his companion? If so, how did he protect him from ruination?

      Why are the fireworks suddenly being exploded in the sky on this particular night? And finally, we have to ask, have the issues between these two men truly been resolved? Can the two truly come together again as a loving couple, particularly when at some point Hank will have to reveal what a fool he has been throughout the entire day.

     There are so very many unexplained events, loose ends, and simple impossibilities strung along the route of the 16 minutes of this film, that even if we have been convinced that Hank, in all his naivete, is a true believer in a world of dishonest men, how can we believe in a story that simply doesn’t make sense?

 

Los Angeles, November 19, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2025).

 

Luis Ortega | El ángel (El Angel) / 2018

loving a cobra

by Douglas Messerli

 

Luis Ortega (screenwriter and director) El ángel (El Angel) / 2018

 

When I shared the fact that I’d just watched Luis Ortega’s film with a knowledgeable film friend, who hadn’t yet seen the movie, he asked me what I thought about it. The first word that came to my mind was “charming,” but I immediately backed away from that word, feeling almost perverse for having even momentarily mentally assigning it to a work about a young 17-year old man who quickly grew into what Los Angeles Times reviewer Katie Walsh describes: “He simply is who he is — Carlos Eduardo Robledo Puch, a teenage psychopath who terrorized Argentina in the early ’70s with a crime spree of rape, robbery and murder. Newspapers dubbed him “The Angel of Death” and the “The Black Angel” due to the juxtaposition of his cherubic appearance and his remorseless criminal behavior.”

     I know nothing about the original figure on whom this fictional version is based except what I’ve read in connection with Ortega’s movie. But if the real Carlos Robledo Puch and his early partner, Ramón Perelta were anything like actors Lorenzo Ferro and Chino Darín, I can well understand why to some Argentinians, despite his many murders which included even an infant, the two stood out as a kind of ruthless Bonnie and Clyde—except given Puch’s homosexual inclinations and Darín’s own toying with bisexuality we’d have to describe them more as they do themselves in one scene as they begin to rob a high end jewelry shop: as Ramón quickly scoops up the rings, bracelets, necklaces and other pieces into a bag, Carlos takes his time to enjoy perusing what he’s never before seen but, nonetheless, feels almost entitled to. He puts on a pair of pearl earrings, pushing back his golden ringlets and staring at himself in the mirror of the glass display window. Wondering what he’s up to, Ramón moves over to him, observing that he looks like Marilyn Monroe. But seeing himself next to the ravishingly beautiful kid changes Ramón’s mind to describe the two of them as “Che and Fidel.” “Evita and Peron” responds Carlitos, clearly mystifying his buddy in crime. Carlos almost scolds him for his greedy grab of jewels: “Hey, we’re alive, why can’t you enjoy it?”


     It is moments like these which occur at a regular pace for at least the first half of this film that make you stand back and stop judging what it is they are doing, ridiculously falling into collusion with them and recognizing their beauty, as perverted as it is in the context of their actions. There is a definite disconnect between their faces and the criminal minds behind them, and that gap is what makes us gasp with enchantment and leads me to want to call the film charming. I am charmed by them the way an Indian snake-charmer is by a cobra.

     And Ferro, in particular, both as his character and his role as actor knows it, looking at almost all times over his should to make sure you’re still there, watching his very slightly teenage pudgy body weave it erotic trance. To say that Carlos is narcissistic is to call the mythical Narcissus a brute. No, he was a true beauty in love with the beauty of being himself.

    In the very first scene of this film, Carlos, who’s already determined to leave school in order to become a thief—one of “gods spies,” as he sees it—is simply walking down a street when he unexpectedly stops in his tracks and jumps a fence on the other side of which stands of an architect’s dream of a Buenos Airies property. Walsh nicely captures the intruders’ actions and behavior:

 

“He enters through an open sliding door, helps himself to a drink, fingers the jewelry and wanders around with a kind of entitled insouciance. He puts on a record and begins to dance wildly, his curls bouncing in time with the staccato beat. He leaves on a motorcycle with a few LPs stashed on the back, arriving home where he greets his mother (Cecilia Roth), who’s cooking his favorite meal.”

 

     Carlitos’ parents, good and decent hard-working people, are disturbed by his showing up a home with an expensive motorcycle, even though he explains to them that a friend loaned it to him. With no money whatsoever, he has evidently brought home other treasures previously that people have “given him,” and his father, in particular warns him of his behavior. He is now, incidentally, attending a kind of vocational school that sounds suspiciously like a kind of reform institution. But then how can such good-hearted, church-going folk not still love their cupidinous son. Besides, he is so very sure of himself that any real action on their parts would surely have little effect. Moreover, he gives almost everything he steals away as presents. The necklace he has stolen is awarded to his erstwhile girlfriend, a twin who’s mad at him for not having heard from him in several weeks—the period evidently when Carlitos has been whisked away from high school and shuffled off to the vocational institution where he meets the far more conventionally handsome Ramón, the scion to a truly criminal family, who after properly slugging out the pretty angel for daring to put a blowtorch near his hair just to get his attention. He later gives one of the stolen records to Ramón.

     Soon after, when he actually gets to know the endlessly flirtatious Carlitos, Ramón takes him home to meet his mafia-like father José (Daniel Fanego), who sits around the rec room in a short jacket and his underpants with his balls hanging out—a fact which highly attracts the young newcomer—and a mother (Mercedes Morán) who after getting a glimpse of her son’s new friend, begins immediately to plot how to get him into bed.

 


   After hearing the young thief talk for only a few moments, he hands him a gun and, with erotic purring’s in his ear, shows him how to shoot it, Ramón adding to fun by telling him to “relax your anus.” The shot leads Mrs. Peralta to remind her husband he’s not permitted to shoot weapons in the house, while for Carlos the rush he receives from the act makes him want more. José argues, however, that ammunition is expensive, and before anyone even has a moment to think, Carlos is convincing them to that he knows of the perfect place where they can get some ammo.

      In the very next frame of the film, Carlos is climbing to the roof of an Armería while Ramón waits for him to open the steel shutters and his father in the car. Once inside Carlos grabs up entire stacks of rifles, piles of pistols, and various other makes of guns, throws them into a canvas bag and crawls out of the partially raised shutter before getting back in the car, only to be told that he’s forgotten the ammo.

     He tells them to drive around the block while he goes back to get the forgotten bullets. But once back inside, he also picks up two more pistols which for most of the rest of the film he will tuck into the front of his jeans, causing trouble for everyone and, most of all, for himself. “Look Carlitos,” José calmly comments as the family and their new found son sit around a table upon which the weapons now rest, “what you did today was great, but don’t ever do it again. It wasn’t what we had planned.”


     Carlos, almost just as calmly, justifiably replies: “We had no plan.”

     They recognize that the unflappable Carlos will surely put them in jeopardy, and José doesn’t want to risk going back to jail. Yet they also perceive the kid as a genius and dare to “train him right.” And they do trust him enough now to bring him into their little “band,” offering him a new fake passport which names him “Carlos Brown,” Charlie Brown to us gringos.

     But inevitably things get stranger since Carlos is basically a man without fear or a conscience, a spoiled genius whose constantly shifting lying, pretty, pouting, and pursing, lipstick red lips help him get away with murder. Writing in Film Comment Jonathan Romney, in one of the very best of the essays on this film, pretty much sums up the tone of the rest of this mesmerizing movie:   

    

“The crime is fun at first, given a groovy caper-movie spin: Ortega loves setting a robbery to an arch music-box waltz as Carlitos eyes the spoils, or speeding one up, with snappy jump cuts, to the sound of ’70s blues boogie (the contemporary soundtrack, presumably of 100-percent Latin American provenance, and including a Spanish-language “House of the Rising Sun,” is one of the film’s more distinctive assets). But things get weird, and menacing, fairly quickly. Found with a gun in his bed, Carlitos points it at his shocked mother, then asks, “Do you think I’d point a real gun at you?”—and we think that yes, he would, and very likely fire it too. An early robbery has the disconcerting feel of a dream, with Carlitos a baffled observer of what’s happening, as he shoots the elderly owner of a huge, atmospheric house, then follows him as he wanders around, refusing to acknowledge he’s been hit.”

 

    At another point, after entering a nightclub where previously Ramón has gotten into a fight after being called a “faggot” for hooking up with a gay gallerist for a blow job in return for the art world ditching of his family’s ill-gotten art, Carlos enters a room where two men are asleep each upon his own mattress. Pulling out both of his pistols he simultaneously shoots them dead. But instead of running after committing such an atrocity, he remains in place, unable to believe that they are truly dead, that they’re not just faking it.

     Even in the 1970s young boys and perhaps whole societies had become so immured to the games of death through television, movies, and gaming machines that even without the hundreds of murderous computer play stations people like Carlitos found it hard to believe that killing was anything more than an imaginative act. Which is why, most certainly, even I who have never played such games can still describe the flickers of light that portray murder after murder as something that seems charming. Even Bonnie and Clyde, if they could awaken from the dead to watch a movie such as this one might be shocked at what they were observing.

     By this time, despite Ramón’s pretense of being straight, we can imagine that the two flirtatious boys have shared at least some time under the covers. But when Charlie Brown’s comrade actually begins to regularly put out for the art dealer and his friends in exchange for what the suddenly strangely naive Ramón believes might lead to a career in the movies, he goes too far.

 


     At this point Carlos is desperately in love with Ramón even if they haven’t yet actually consummated it in sex. After the jewelry store robbery mentioned above, when his friend falls to sleep in their shared hotel room, Carlitos strews the dozens of jewels they’ve stolen upon Ramón’s naked crotch, awarding him their glorious haul just as he has treated his girlfriend to the gold trinket and later brings home a backpack filled with money to his parents as a gift in return for love. Romney asks the million-dollar question: “Are they lovers at this point? The film hedges its bets,” but he argues that the double blood-letting I describe at the back of the bar as being “either jealous fury or a displacement activity to compensate for his beloved not putting out—to him, at least.”

    Late at night, Carlos’ father buries the blood money his son as brought home in the back yard. In punishment for the murder of a truck driver in a botched robbery attempt, Carlos is later made by José and Ramon to take the body of a truck driver and crash it into a tree in the middle of an empty field before dousing it with gas and lighting it to suggest the man has died in a mysterious crash.


      Carlos’ attempts to buy love fail so miserably that he ultimately seems to have no other choice but to drive the car in which he and Ramón are riding into another automobile, killing his now traitorous love while making it look like an accident.

      Charlie Brown’s own mother, after meeting up with Ramón’s mother calls the police on her son.

      Even after escaping from jail, Carlos attempts to reach out to his family as he wanders around Ramón and his family’s now empty house, telephoning his mother like a lost child as she, surrounded by an entire armed squadron of policemen, attempts to coax him to reveal where he is calling from. Moments later the seemingly beautiful lost and guileless man-child—whom we now

know as a monstrous murderer—dancing alone in the old Peralta manse has been surrounded by what looks like an entire army to bring him back to justice, dead or alive. Finally, the angel has forgotten to look over his shoulder to see if anyone might be watching his derring-do acts.

 


     Ortega’s film is a bit like a cleaned-up fairytale version of another horrific murder tale, In Cold Blood wherein a homosexually-inclined Perry Smith, psychologically egged-on by the heterosexual male he loved, “Dick” Hickock, killed an entire family into whose home they had broken simply to rob them of their money. But the limping short hunk and grizzly-faced lean ex-con of Richard Brooks’ film have been replaced in El Angel by a handsome stud and a cute moppet of a kid whose curly hair just calls out to be ruffled. We are tricked into loving them just by their Hollywood-like looks, so enchanted that we can only describe the story of the trail of blood they leave behind as being charming.

     In the end, I didn’t tell my curious friend that the film was “charming,” but described it as “beautifully horrific,” almost the way you might react to a Spanish Giallo film by Dario Argento or Mario Bava, but without all their blood.

 

Los Angeles, November 18, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2025).

 

 

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

James Tyer and Oscar E. Soglow | Christmas Night (aka Pals) / 1933 [animated cartoon]

playing with the boys

by Douglas Messerli

 

Oscar E. Soglow (screenplay), James Tyer and Oscar E. Soglow (directors) Christmas Night (aka Pals) / 1933 [animated cartoon]

 

One of the most charming of the 1930s cartoons, and far different from what I have labeled as “sad and silly animated sissies,” in James Tyer’s and Oscar E. Soglow’s 1933 cartoon in “The Little King” series, Christmas Night, or Pals.

     This begins with the King on a ride in his coach as Christmas nears, his coach bearers outfitted in skates as they slide him through the streets of his busy kingdom. Taking out his binoculars, the King espies a father and son chopping down a tree for Christmas night, and peering out in another director observes children hanging their stockings for gifts from Santa.


     The carriage stops in front of a store, inside of which sits Santa, taking requests from children for their Christmas gifts. With faces pressed up to the window, are two hobos, sad voyeurs to the Christmas celebration, whom the Little King quickly joins creating a trio of on-lookers. They find great joy in the window trimmings, particularly when a small marionette dressed in black-face dances—perhaps the only moment of racist or sexist content in this otherwise feel-good film.


    Seeing the sign about Santa being inside, the Little King toddles in, making out his wish list and, following a little girl who Santa blesses before ringing the bell for next, handing him his wish list as Santa asks, “Do you to bed early? Do you each your spinach? All right, [patting the king on his head after a quick removal of his crown] go along now, I’ll bring you some toys.”

     The film now turns into a far more compassionate but even stranger work, as the Little King invites the hobos to join him in his carriage, speeding them into the castle, and hidden under his ermine coat, sneaking them off to his upstairs bedroom where he immediately disrobes, waiting for the others to do the same so that they might take a bath together.

     The hobos’ clothing is so moth-eaten that it literally is falling off their backs. The first one, tall and skinny, we discover to be wearing a bra or at least breast pads under his shirt while upon this apparent cross-dresser’s chest is a tattoo touting the NRA—not the National Rifle Association, but Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s National Recovery Administration—hinting that the recovery hasn’t yet reached out for him. The other, short and round, finds a spider’s web between his toes, suggesting just how long it’s been since he’s been able to wash them.


     They joyfully play in the tub together until, quite accidentally, the bar of soap slips from the King’s hands into the mouth of new his short hobo friend who throughout the rest of the film, at inconvenient moments, emits a bubble from his mouth.


      They redress in their long johns, with the King demanding they remove their socks so he might hang them over the fireplace for Santa’s arrival. The hobos’ socks are evidently so pungent in smell that the nails retreat from their holes, forcing the King to tip-toe into “Ye Queen”’s chamber, slip under her bed and pull off one of her endlessly long stockings (if you’ve seen other Little King movies, you’ll remember that the Queen is a quite hearty and towering lady). He hangs the stocking made for two in place of the others which have fallen to the floor.


     They hobos with the King trot off to his bed and crawl in with him to sleep, but quickly awaken, particularly when a bubble pops again out of the short one’s mouth and chip from the log the other is sawing drops upon his forehead. Besides, Santa’s on his way, soon to try to make his way down the castle chimney—which being too large for the brick enclosure he quickly destroys. Once in the living room, Santa takes out an awl and drills a hole in the floor into which he drops a seed that brings to bear a Christmas tree replete with ornaments and lights.

     As they tiptoe down the stairs they discover that Santa has brought a miniature car for the Little King, a firetruck for the short and tubby hobo, and a child’s airplane for the long and lean hobo, each of which they now navigate around the room, crashing into walls, pillars, and other supports of the castle until they all come crashing together, the Little King emerging from the mess with a bubble popping out of his mouth suggesting that the three were anything but comatose in the brief seconds they were hidden away under the debris.

     While this certainly is not an openly gay movie, it certainly doesn’t hide the fact that the Little King is not only willing to help the poor, but to share his toilet, his bed, and new Christmas toys with the boys, while the queen sleeps alone in her private chambers.

 

Los Angeles, November 18, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2025).

Monday, November 17, 2025

William Nolan and Walter Lantz | Going to Blazes / 1933 [animated cartoon]

the dancing pansy firehouse assistant

by Douglas Messerli

 

Ray Abrams, Fred Avery, Cecil Surry, Jack Carr and Don Williams (animators), William Nolan and Walter Lantz (directors) Going to Blazes / 1933 [animated cartoon]

 

The Bill Nolan animated cartoon from 1933, Going to Blazes, appeared to me, upon several visits, to be yet another quite obvious example of the 1930s pictures’ fascination with queers which they depicted as pansies. In fact, this 7-and-a-half-minute cartoon features one of the longest presentations of a dancing sissy in film history, a fireman, dressed in high boots, whipping up a storm of loony hand flaps and other fruity gestures.*


     Who would have thought that for some readers it might have been coded? Apparently, the writer of the Wikipedia entry has severe problems in recognizing a “real” woman, even in cartoon form, from the drag “imposters,” describing the dancing panze as a “firewoman,” which not only obliterates most of the film’s attempts of humor for the first third of the movie, but fails explain why the mischievous babe is so intent on attacking the figure that in the process he axes the fire hose or why, later, the fairy is so expendable that he’s sent twice down a manhole, from which, on the first occasion, he escapes to utter in a falsetto voice, with hands on hips (the stock emblem of a pansy) “You ole meanie!”—the only line of full dialogue in this cartoon.



     I assure you that this was animators Ray Abrams, Fred Avery, Cecil Surry, Jack Carr, and Don Williams’ depiction of an irrepressible dancing queen, not a “firewoman,” who, as the Wikipedia writer proposes, has “mental problems.”


     In fact, the rest of the film, which features a laughing fire raging out of control, and Oswald, the Lucky Rabbit’s attempts to dowse the flames while faced with an out-of-control fire hydrant and the continued nasty actions of the baby snookums, is not near as humorous. So incompetent is Oswald, in fact, that you almost side with the sneaky fire, who tickles the toes of a heavy sleeper and threatens the female figure who Oswald clumsily attempts, and finally manages to save, he awarded, in the end, with her kiss. She, I assure you, is a cartoon woman.


     Although almost all sources state that the work was directed by Walter Lantz and William Nolan, a couple of seemingly informed commentaries insist that Nolan was the lone director, but that the production, as a Walter Lantz product, demanded his name be co-listed.  

 

*The title obviously suggests a fire that is out of control, or a situation that has gotten out of hand, which clearly is the case with out “dancing queer.” In the urban meaning, a “blaze” is also a male that everyone loves and instantly falls in love with, but also a person who is heavily under the influence of marijuana. I don’t know if that latter meaning of the word was common, however, in the 1930s.

 

Los Angeles, November 17, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2025).

 

Fokke Baarssen | Missed / 2018

meeting with a ghost

by Douglas Messerli

 

Keith Armonaitis (screenplay), Fokke Baarssen (director) Missed / 2018 [9 minutes]

 

This short work, directed by Dutch filmmaker Fokke Baarssen is a subtle piece about the rude, loud and crude politics of our day, and how it effects people on a very personal level.

    Graham (James Kacey), a young man in his late 20s or early 30s has made an appointment in a California desert truck stop with his estranged father, whom he has evidently not seen for four years.

     He waits alone for a while, wondering whether his father will show, the waitress Doris (Jennifer Lynn O’Hara) trying a couple of times to get an order out of him as he explains he’s waiting for someone.

     The father (Sean Kane) finally appears, a grizzled gray bearded man wearing a red MAGA hat. He hardly gets in the room before disparaging his son, demanding to know what he thinks is so important that he has attempted to set up the meeting. He suggests that Graham is not tough enough to even deal with the way things are in “God’s country,” presumably how he perceives where he now lives. Graham reminds him that he was born and raised in New Jersey.


   Apparently some of the distance between them has to do with the fact that he had left is the boy’s mother years earlier. Moreover, he had not attended his son’s wedding, and rudely treated his partner, Robin, at the mother’s funeral.

     Indeed, the father goes full attack on his son yet again in front of the waitress, presuming that she might stand as a supportive witness to the fact that his son doesn’t have what it takes to live a good American life and has refused contact with him for years.

     What we quickly discern is that Robin is a male and that Graham is gay. Moreover, when the father asks if he’s still with Robin, Graham demurs, suggesting, at least to his disinterested father that the couple has since broken up.

     When the son attempts to explain that in attending the funeral with his companion, he wasn’t trying to demonstrate anything to anyone, that he was there out of respect for the mother, and that the father’s behavior was not simply a situation for taking a stand, but was crude and impolite. The wounds have clearly not healed.

      Graham’s father agrees that the world is no longer polite without seeming to comprehend that he has been far more than cruel so far in their meeting. He complains that when entering, he held the door open for two young girls, without receiving even a thanks.

      Graham wonders whether he held the door open out of politeness or the need to be thanked. And so it continues; there clearly is no possible rapport between them. The father comments that his son can’t even bother to take off his cap.

      Anyone with empathy might, at this point suspect, particularly when for a second Graham touches his beanie cap, that there might be a reason for it remaining on his head. But the father, grabbing up his own hat, not only advertising his political position but challenging anyone who might disagree, asks for the coffee he has ordered to go, rejecting out of hand any further communication with his son.        

      Graham reacts with the reminder that he has always been good at turning his back on anyone with he might disagree, presumably meaning his mother and not just him.

      As the father challenges him yet once more, the boy falls into a coughing fit; we recognize something the insensitive father, who even makes fun of his son’s weakness, cannot sense, that Graham is ill.

      Finally, realizing that nothing has changed and there can be no communication between the two, Graham himself stands, ready to leave.

      But now the father is even more ready to challenge and ridicule the boy, following him out of the restaurant and, for a moment, grabbing him as if to pull him back to face his diatribe.


 

      This time Graham falls to his knees in a heavy coughing fit, the father finally realizing that something’s wrong without being able to even slightly explain it. He does offer to help his son up, but the boy rejects it and moves off to his car.

      The father stands alone for a moment, wondering what the call for a meeting has been all about.

But meanwhile Doris has found a small pamphlet that Graham has left behind and brings it out to the older man. We now read it’s title, “The Dying Process, A Family’s Guide to Hospice,” clearly meant for his father’s perusal. But, as apparently has occurred regularly with this angry, stubborn, and unthinking man, the opportunity to communicate has again been missed, lost to the world that harbors no room for opinions other than his own.

        Fokke Baarssen’s camera shifts now to observe Graham in his car, in full tears, his hat pulled off, revealing his bald head—probably from radiation treatments.

        His son clearly is sick with something like cancer, and is near death. This film does not explain the cause of the young man’s illness.

       Perhaps it may be a complication of AIDS that was not caught quickly enough, and, if so, we might even conjecture that Robin has also suffered from the disease and died, which would explain why Graham makes no attempt to dissuade his father from his presumption that the married couple has broken up. And yes, people still die of AIDS. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, in 2019, the year after this film was released, 6,228 people, mostly male and gay, died of AIDS in the US and its territories, the lowest it had since the epidemic began. But before we might congratulate ourselves, since that year is has significantly risen. In 2022 it had reached 19,310 deaths among adults and adolescents with diagnosed HIV in the US and its 6 territories.*

       In many respects, this work is not even about politics, however. There simply is no talking with people who believe in their own righteousness and will not listen to anyone who holds values outside of their own.

      If Graham is soon to die, however, his father is a howling ghost. When a man no longer has any empathy with others, he is already dead inside.

 

*Tragically, 2,976 individuals died of the various terrorist attacks on 9/11 in 2001. Every year, we commemorate that day for those who died in those horrific events. Yet, we seem almost oblivious as a culture of the 6,228-19, 310 of our citizens dying each year of a disease for which we still have no known cure, even if we are close to a cure and have drugs that save many of those infected with HIV.

 

Los Angeles, November 17, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2025).

 

 

Index R-Z

Angelo Raaijmakers I, Adonis / 2021 Peeter Rabane Firebird / 2021   Tyler Rabinowitz Catalina / 2022 Tyler Rabinowitz See You Soon / 20...