unresolved desire
by Douglas Messerli
Lorenzo Caproni (screenwriter and director) La prima volta (The First Time) / 2012 [4 minutes]
A straight couple is arguing in the park, which
draws the attention of one young man who is taking in the sun and reading a
book.
Meanwhile,
another even more handsome boy looks up and spots the first observer. He obviously
likes what he sees, since he looks up again and even begins to flirt with the
other, somewhat slower to return the gaze, the way all cruisers do.
The two do
meet up at the park bathroom, the first man by this time even more excited than
the apparently seasoned cruiser. But we also recognize in his panting eagerness,
the hurry in which he attempts to get into the pants of the other man that,
just perhaps, this is his first time.
The two
kiss passionately, the second man trying to slow down the first in his sexual
excitement. But now that he has engaged for the first time in the thrill of
bathroom sex there is no pausing his lust, until finally the second man pulls ever
so slightly off, kissing the other’s forehead, and
The first
man quickly follows, but the second man has already disappeared as if by magic,
almost as if he were a hallucination. There is that awful disappointment of the
first time when this happens, the pit-of-the-stomach feeling of regret and
desire for the man that got away.
This will not be the last time the neophyte
has this feeling, since this first time has aroused a passion deep inside which
he will seek out time and again. But there is no emotional excitement like the
first time, particularly when it has been interrupted, the desire unresolved.
This
film, featuring Eugenio Franceschini and Giulio Rubinelli, is in Italian with
no English subtitles, but anyone who is gay and has had a happenstance
encounter with a stranger will need no words to call up the unforgettable sensation,
an emotion so powerful that it even creates a slight wave of nostalgia year’s
after the fact.
Some
will find this 4-minute-film just a frustrating tease, but it is also clear in
the cinematic intensity of this tableau that director Lorenzo Caproni is a pro.
He has made over 10 gay films since his first, made at the age of 14. As the
commentator, Dave, wrote in the online New Queer Visions: “…this work
wonderfully showcase[s] fleeting glances between two men that can only lead to
one thing. Only here Caproni weaves a different tale to what you may expect,
along the way leaving the title somewhat ambiguous, given come close-of-play
you're not quite sure if for one it's their first time having restroom sex, or
whether it's their first time with another man? Played with gay intensity
without being graphic, Caproni packs a lot into a short story that's
beautifully played throughout. Say no more.”
Los Angeles, September 26, 2025
Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog
(September 2025).
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