Monday, September 7, 2026

Darwin Valencia Martínez | Sin Retorno (No Return) / 2015

kisses

by Douglas Messerli

 

Darwin Valencia Martínez (screenwriter and director) Sin Retorno (No Return) / 2015 [15 minutes]

 

Like many a buddy movie where the relationship between two men turns into something else, in this film Mateo (Fabio Concha) and Diego (David Noboa) have been life-time friends, and their caring for one another has both helped them to get through many a crisis.


     At what appears to be an utterly unpleasant prom, Mateo admits that his girlfriend Andrea (Coralia Yelenia), who has just passed out drunk, has finally grown tired of him, the two as good friends do in such situations, commiserating with one another through a long brotherly hug, Mateo arguing that he simply wants to leave the place, his only friend being Diego. But this time it quickly turns into something else as Diego suddenly kisses him. Mateo immediately backs off, Diego regretting the kiss since it may have broken the close friendship they have had for so many long years.

     Still, together they drive Andrea home, leaving her on her on her doorway pounding for her mother to let her in.


   The tension between the two continues, Mateo finally insisting that he cannot deal with it that evening.

     Diego spends a long sleepless night, trying, unsuccessfully to phone his friend to apologize, and is now even more fearful that the relationship between the two of them has been severed. Yet, surprisingly Mateo does show up the next morning, and the two take a lovely bicycle trip into the countryside, returning to share video games and watching movies. But again, the specter of the kissing rises up as Diego tries to explain his longtime feelings.


     This time Mateo’s anger leads to violence, both of them battling physically with one another, until finally, Mateo kisses him fully on the lips, mocking him for his desires. But Diego does not back down time, demanding that Mateo face his own feelings as the two finally fall into a deep kissing session. But when it begins to turn into a sexual episode, Mateo again rises and runs off, bicycling away as Diego cries for him to return. Yet, strangely, Mateo has still insisted that perhaps they still can be friends, but nothing more. As he rides off, accordingly, we do not quite know whether there can “no return” to their friendship or that nothing can return to what it was in the past, that perhaps he will return to their new possibilities.

     This Ecuadorian film is quite deftly realized, and leaves the viewer with the desire, that may or may not be actualized, for these two boys to find and discover their true love. But in such a culture, it takes a brave man for someone like Mateo to realize his own being and reality. It is apparent he is desperately in love with Diego, but whether or not he can come to admit that is left up to speculation.

 

Los Angeles, September 7, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (September 2026).

Elena Weinberg | The Weight of the World / 2013

no sympathy in sight

by Douglas Messerli

 

Duncan Coe (screenplay), Elena Weinberg (director) The Weight of the World / 2013 [8 minutes]

 

In this very short coming out film from 2013, Taylor (Jon Lee Richardson) has just come out to his father, the most important scene in the film which the writer and director have removed from evidence, draining their film from any true dramatic significance.


    Instead, our your “hero,” if you can describe him as such, rushes off to tell his best female friend Jesse (Brenna Sturdivant) what has transpired. Beginning with a metaphor, asking her if she has seen the flocks of parrots who have been tossed out of their homes, “Pets that have escaped or are now living in the east side. Bright green wings, pale gay forehead. Dark scalloped feather around the breast. Fragile, feral. Tossed out.”

    She reminds him with her comment: “Or escaped.”

    Evidently his father said nothing, just what he might have expected, and he will now be forced to live for the rest of his life, he fears, in total resentment of the man whom he still loves, or, even worse, resist becoming the full gay man he now identifies as. He is terrified of either future, that his whole life will now be “buried in his past.”

   Actually, if when I told my father and mother that I was gay and that Howard and I were in a relationship, they had said nothing, I might have seen it as a good sign, but getting up mid-dinner and driving from Washington, DC back to Iowa did not at all bode well. But even then I quickly got over it, knowing that when it comes to such revelations of sexuality, you have to free yourself from parental approval. It hurt and still does today, but I was not devastated and had no intentions of either hating them for their blindness nor resisting my own sexual inclinations. Perhaps Taylor is still simply too young, and since he apparently has still not found someone to love, maybe he just might have waited until he had left the house, gone off to school, and found someone to help support him in such a difficult act.


    Obviously, this sulky boy does not even find the open love which Jesse offers him to be enough, and he gets back into his beautiful SUV (evidently a gift of the father he supposes hates him) and drives away to god knows where, brooding, the title of the film falling upon his shoulders.

    Unfortunately, since we know nothing about the father and very little about the son, it is hard to sympathize with this character, and, in a sense, the vagueness of his future plans symbolizes our feelings toward him.  

    The film relies entirely upon our knowing the genre, and remembering how painful it was for others to imagine what this young man is suffering. But, in the end, we don’t even quite know what is in his mind, how his father has really felt about his admission. If the film’s intention is to simply mock such an extreme reaction—after all it is described as a comedy—this short cinema itself declares itself from the beginning that it is a failure, mocking the plight of its central figure.

       If we are meant to share in the young man’s worries, writer Duncan Coe and director Elena Weinberg might have first introduced their characters. As it is, I feel only for his friend Jesse, whose love is apparently not enough to begin to salve this foolish boy’s pouting.

      And who is the Erik she calls at the end of the film, perhaps a male who has long been waiting for this event before he makes his move?  That might be a nice ending if the movie weren't so lazy to even explain it to us.

 

Los Angeles, September 7, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (September 2026). 

 

 


Emma Westenberg | Lucky Strike / 2019 [music video]

heart in hand

by Douglas Messerli

 

Emma Westenberg (director) Lucky Strike / 2019 [4 minutes] [music video]

 

Sitting on a California beach, Troye Sivan, clearly having a crush on the beach bartender (Brandon Good), begs his would-be lover to “Tell me all the ways to love you.”


Oh, I want to know just how to love you

The jewel of California

Oh I want to skip stones on your skin boy

And drown me in your water

 

And my boy like a queen,

Unlike one you’ve ever seen

He knows how to love me better

A hit of dopamine, higher than I’ve ever been

He knows how to love me better

 

Cause you’re safe like spring time

Short days, long nights, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you

 

Cause you taste like lucky strikes,

You drag, I light, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you


    Clearly this man has the young man’s heart in his hands, as Sivan begs for a way to be able to fully express his love.

    Soon the rather disparate beach crowd around him have joined in on his dance of pleasure, slightly reminiscent of Salome in Oscar Wilde’s famous play and later opera—only here, despite the fact that the bartender holds the singer’s heart in his hands, there is no perversity. This is male on male love, pure and simple, with the blonde Australian beauty, in the end, left on the beach alone.

 


  Is it sad or joyful? In this case, it’s hard to tell, particularly if his wondrous day with the bartender is simply one of his imagination. There is a strong sense of longing here that is missing from some of his more joyous videos.

 

Los Angeles, September 7, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (September 2026).

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Alexis Diop | Adieu Émile (Farewell Emile) / 2024

a return to the present and the future

by Douglas Messerli

 

Alexis Diop (screenwriter and director) Adieu Émile (Farewell Emile) / 2024 [26 minutes]

 

This short film by French director Aleix Diop begins as a kind of mystery. Why has the beautiful young Tim (Benjamin Sulpice) suddenly lost he equally lovely lover, Émile (Arthur Beaudoire), who even Tim’s open-minded mother also seems to adore?


     Throughout this film, through endless imagines that Tim has filmed on his cellphone camera, we get glimpses of their wonderful times together, they joyful young lives, and their engagement with one another.

   In the background, however, we also note that Tim’s father has suddenly died of cancer, and throughout, his mother calls him, pleading that he return home just to claim whatever is left of his father’s possessions. Tim simply ignores her, having also lost his lover, and desperate again to make contact.

 

   The only connection that he has is his mostly cellphone friend Céline (Camille Léon-Fucien). In fact, most of this film uses cellphone images and messages to express it’s plot. As one Letterboxd commentator notes: “Finally accurate phone use in a film.” But frankly I find it rather boring, truly unrevealing, and utterly distracting, not the way I like to “read” my narrative, although I am sure most younger people prefer that experience. The speed through scroll of images may give us a sense of their experiences and love, there is nothing but surface issues presented here. Why has Émile left so suddenly, and why is Tim so desperately seeking Émile? We can imagine the latter, but can’t explain the first part of the question.   

     Through internet connections, he tracks down Émile, suspecting that he has returned to his former lover, a rather sleazy individual, Zahir, living on Île de France. And Céline finally provides against her better judgment, the full address his lover’s current address.


     Needing desperately to talk to Émile, Tim takes a taxi to Rue Myrha. But en route his mother calls pleading with him, one last time, to visit her and help her sort out his father’s possessions, suggesting that he has not all been there for her in her grief, and, mostly important, revealing that for the past year he has retreated from the world in his own inability to deal with his beloved father’s death.

     Obviously, this also explains, in part, his lover’s departure. Tim has not been the same loving companion with whom Émile once lived. The devastation of his father’s death has clearly taken a toll on Tim’s ability to love and think. As the taxi arrives to Rue Myrha, we see him, now with tears rolling down his eyes from his mother’s comments, remaining in the taxi and not carrying out his intended last encounter with his former lover. Among the various images we are given a view of the Garde de Nord train station, perhaps an indication that Tim might finally return back home to lay to rest his tortured past and return to being an individual capable to a new relationship. It is as if perhaps Tim has realized that he cannot return to the past.

     The film, however, stuck in the phone images of a past, does not give us clue whether Tim might be ever able to return to the present and future.

 

Los Angeles, September 6, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (September 2026).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whammy Alcazaren | Bold Eagle / 2022

 no one there

by Douglas Messerli

 

Whammy Alcazaren (screenwriter and director) Bold Eagle / 2022 [16 minutes]

 

Bold (who uses the internet name luckymaybe1923) is highly depressed, trapped in his own apartment, fearing or disinterested in going out or answering the continued knocks and cries at the door. Instead, he dreams of Hawaii, where he imagines he might be happy, and spends his days in his Navotas City apartment crammed with family memories, posters of all kinds, stamp albums, and an ever-patient cat, while spending his time mostly while on hallucinogenic drugs and seeking love from strange men on the internet as they masturbate and fuck their way to “happiness.”

 

  At moments, Bold Eagle is truly beautiful and imaginative—although its tripped-out images are somewhat predictable and I could certainly do without the smiley emblems and the pussy heads—filled with pornographic sexual acts of all sorts, on film and in photographs.  


    

     Yet this is also one of the most depressing films I have ever seen, with, it appears, no way out for Bold who can only vary his world by dressing up in different costumes and playing out the behavior of various animals and other figures. He cannot find his way back, evidently into life, and despite all the cheer-up songs sung in English by Hawaiian choir boys, he still finds it difficult to get out of bed or even rise from his usual position on the floor.

     He wishes he were the cat. According to the Internet, he seems to have won a free trip to Hawaii. Perhaps he should answer the knocks at the door, the calls for him to come out. But Bold, is not an Eagle and cannot leave his protective nest.

     This Philippines short movie by Whammy Alcazaren is definitely not for everyone.

 

Los Angeles, August 6, 2024

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (August 2024).

Derek Jarman | War Requiem / 1989

killing the piano player

by Douglas Messerli

 

Derek Jarman (screenwriter and director, based on Benjamin Britten’s War Requiem) War Requiem / 1989

 

I love British composer Benjamin Britten’s operas and many of his orchestral works, but I have to admit that his 1963 War Requiem, composed for the opening the new Coventry Cathedral, is not among my favorites—despite the fact that Dmitri Shostakovich told conductor and cellist Mstislav Rostropovich the he believed it to be the greatest work of the 20th Century.


     The work includes a Latin mass along with chorale renditions of six poems of the poet Wilfred Owen, who fought and died the World War I, during which he became perhaps the most outspoken anti-war poet of England. The choice was a significant since Britten himself along with his lover Peter Pears had left England in 1939, among other reasons, for the difficult position of pacifists, which he and Pears attested to being, leaving behind a Europe when everyone believed it their patriotic duty to join the war efforts.

      Along with the recent exodus of his friends W. H. Auden, and Christopher Isherwood, the current attacks in the British press of Britten’s music, as well as he and Pears having finally consummated their relationship as a gay couple in a time when it against British law, Britten saw fit to remain in the US as a government-identified “artistic ambassador” throughout much of the war.

     Owen was also most likely gay or certainly moving in that direction. He had enlisted in the Artist’s Rifles in 1916, and for the seven months trained at Hare Hall Camp in Essex. In June of 1916 he was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Manchester Regiment. A number of terrible incidents followed, beginning with his falling into a shell hole where he suffered a concussion, and soon after being caught in the blast of a mortar shell which left him for several days unconscious, lying on an embankment among the bodies of dead soldiers. After, Owen was diagnosed with neurasthenia (shell shock) and sent to the Craighlockhart War Hospital in Edinburgh.

     It was while he was there that he met and became good friends with the poet Siegfried Sassoon, not yet openly gay, who maintained close friendships with other significant figures, several of them being gay. Sassoon introduced Owen to Robbie Ross, Robert Graves, H. G. Wells, Arnold Bennet, Osbert Sitwell, and C. K. Scott Moncrieff. Ross had been a close friend to Oscar Wilde and Moncrieff was the British translator of Marcel Proust. Certainly, Robert Graves and Sacheverell Sitwell were convinced that Owen was gay; and he may have had a brief affair in 1918 with Moncrieff. There are a great many homoerotic elements in his poetry, one of the poems, “Shadwell Stair,” for many years seen as a mysterious work, being later identified as a quite straightforward elegy to the homosexual soliciting in the area of the London docks once famous for such behavior.*

      Sassoon, who obviously had grown quite close to Owen, forbade him to return to the front, and even threatened to shoot him in the leg if he attempted to. But upon their parting in 1917, Owen having been discharged from the hospital, secretly returned to duty without telling his influential friend. Owen was killed in action on November 4, 1918, exactly one week before the signing of the Armistice which ended the war.

   The confluence of two British homosexual pacificists, in turn, almost inevitably became an immediate attraction for yet another anti-war gay man who himself had been traumatized as a child when he was forced to spend a few days alongside recovering victims of World War II in a military hospital.

    All of these experiences and images were brought together, accordingly, in Jarman’s 1989 film containing no dialogue except the score of Britten’s work. The entire War Requiem is performed with the accompaniment of Jarman’s images almost as if it were a music video akin to those Jarman made for The Smiths and Marianne Faithfull.


       Like such works as The Angelic Conversation of the year before and The Garden (1990), although there are many hints of story, there is no general narrative coherence.

      Several characters are also employed: an old soldier (Laurence Olivier in his last screen role), a mother (Patricia Hayes), Wilfred Owen (Nathaniel Parker), a nurse (Tilda Swinton, who also plays a grieving woman and other roles), the unknown soldier (Owen Teale, who plays as well Owen’s best friend and perhaps lover in the film), a German soldier (Sean Bean), and figures such the Biblical Abraham (Nigel Terry), as well as business men, numerous other soldiers, and a young boy playing a tin drum (representing perhaps Jarman himself as a child).

       Except for Owen and the nurse, these figures float in an out of the landscape of the World War I trenches where Owen is stationed and writing his poems, reread by his close friend. Moreover, time is not presented chronologically since we begin with the nurse/griever painfully attending to Owen’s coffin and ends with his death was well.

       In between, we see the injury and death of countless soldiers, at first simply those of World War I, but later from the documentary footage of soldiers of World War II, the Vietnam War, the war in Angola, and in the Congo as well as other world locations.


       As death becomes an everyday occurrence, the soldiers grow closer together, Owen, in particular, coming to depend on his friend’s sharing of his life; but in other tableaux vivants, Jarman shows the love between the regular soldiers as well. At one point the camp engages in a rollicking performance of three drag queens singing and dancing around the physical symbol of Brittania, while outside the boy with the drum looks in (hinting at Günter Grass’ The Tin Drum), and eventually brought inside by soldiers, the boy drummer becomes part of the onstage comic celebrations.


      At one point, in a horrific playing out of God’s demand that Abraham sacrifice the life of his son Isaac, Abraham, bankers, and other cynical citizens looking on, are dressed like cabaret figures. In this version, Abraham does not relent, despite the attempted interference of an angelic puti, as Abraham slits his son’s throat, clearly symbolic of what the parents of the millions of young soldiers who had been bullied into battle had done to their children, a myth relevant as well to Erich Maria Remarque’s All Quiet on the Western Front.**


       One of the most shocking moments takes place in an interim space surrounded by barbed wire, where Owen’s friend, soon to be the unknown soldier, sits playing a piano that appears ridiculously out of nowhere. A German soldier also enters the space, the piano player not even noticing him. The intruder bends down and picks up some snow, rolling it into a snowball and throwing it at the British soldier. Becoming aware of the other, he too makes a snowball and lobs it back to the German, the two almost innocently playing until suddenly the German takes out a knife and attacks the British man, killing him as he falls back upon the barbed fence.

      It is at that moment that Owen enters and, seeing what has happened, takes up his bayonet and stabs the German again and again until he dies. Owen turns back to his best friend only to find him dead. Slowly bursting into tears, the poet falls to the ground, coming to only a day later when officers discover the bodies, bringing Owen back to life.


      Throughout much of the end of the work, we see the ghost of the German soldier carrying the body of the friend, now the unknown soldier, across the fields, by the end of the work, the unknown  soldier himself appearing with a barbed-wire crown, appearing as a Christ, held in the position of the pietà of Piero della Francesca, the homoerotic symbol that we first encountered in this context in Kenneth Anger’s 1947 film Fireworks, and which would appear regularly as a symbol in the “A” version of gay ”coming out” movies into the 1960s.

      Oddly, Britten did not use one of Owen’s most beloved poems, but features certainly one that contains a great many homoerotic images and even the color blue which would become the title of Jarman’s final feature film before his death. I include here as a sort of summary of Owen’s work in relationship to both Britten’s War Requiem and Jarman’s music video, with images of the “bayonet-blade,” so crucial of Jarman’s film, as well as the teeth and curls of Owen’s young lover.

 

Arms and the Boy

 

Let the boy try along this bayonet-blade

How cold steel is, and keen with hunger of blood;

Blue with all malice, like a madman's flash;

And thinly drawn with famishing for flesh.

 

Lend him to stroke these blind, blunt bullet-leads,

Which long to nuzzle in the hearts of lads,

Or give him cartridges of fine zinc teeth

Sharp with the sharpness of grief and death.

 

For his teeth seem for laughing round an apple.

There lurk no claws behind his fingers supple;

And God will grow no talons at his heels,

Nor antlers through the thickness of his curls.

 

*That poem, with his statements of “firm and cool flesh,” the purple street-arc,” and the blare of sirens and ghost with whom he lays, certainly sounds very gay to me as well. Here’s the poem:

 

Shadwell Stair

 

I am the ghost of Shadwell Stair.

       Along the wharves by the water-house,

       And through the cavernous slaughter-house,

I am the shadow that walks there.

 

Yet I have flesh both firm and cool,

       And eyes tumultuous as the gems

       Of moons and lamps in the full Thames

When dusk sails wavering down the pool.

 

Shuddering the purple street-arc burns

       Where I watch always; from the banks

       Dolorously the shipping clanks

And after me a strange tide turns.

 

I walk till the stars of London wane

       And dawn creeps up the Shadwell Stair.

       But when the crowing syrens blare

I with another ghost am lain.

 

The poem seems to have been drafted in 1918, the last year of his life.

 

**One of the poems included in War Requiem was Owen’s “The Parable of the Old Man and the Young,” his version of the Abraham and Isaac story:

 

The Parable of the Old Man and the Young

 

 So Abram rose, and clave the wood, and went,

And took the fire with him, and a knife.

And as they sojourned both of them together,

Isaac the first-born spake and said, My Father,

Behold the preparations, fire and iron,

But where the lamb for this burnt-offering?

Then Abram bound the youth with belts and straps,

And builded parapets and trenches there,

And stretchèd forth the knife to slay his son.

When lo! an Angel called him out of heaven,

Saying, Lay not thy hand upon the lad,

Neither do anything to him. Behold,

A ram caught in a thicket by its horns;

Offer the Ram of Pride instead of him.

 

But the old man would not so, but slew his son

And half the seed of Europe, one by one

 

Los Angeles, July 28, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (July 2023).

 

 

Index O-Z

Dave O'Brien Straight Boys / 2005 Nick Oceano El primo ( The Cousin ) / 2008  Ken Ochiai Phoenix / 2006 Carlos Ocho Relación Abierta ...