the problem with glass
by Douglas Messerli
George Toles and Guy Maddin (screenwriters,
based on a story by Kazuo Ishiguro), Guy Maddin (director) The Saddest Music in the World / 2003, USA 2004
Beginning in late 2011 and more
increasingly in 2012, I began to have problems of falling upon getting up in
the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, suddenly blacking out for a few
seconds to find myself on the floor, often in great pain. The problem was,
apparently, my drugs for high blood pressure. One, in particular, Clonidine,
reported complications at least three times, in its list of possible "side
effects,” of “dizziness.” One such fall was into a glass mirrored closet,
facing our bed. Although the wall itself was backed with sticky paper to
prevent the glass from falling out en
masse, numerous small pieces of glass embedded themselves in my back and,
for days, appeared upon our carpet floor. The following morning, I was
scheduled for an endoscopy, which was cancelled—might anyone be
surprised—because of high blood pressure. The anesthesiologist suggested I get
rid of the Clonidine, which my doctor and I did, after weeks of trying to
discover another successful mix of pills to protect me from high blood
pressure. We were successful, although many of my new drugs also warn of
“dizziness;” (Diovan, one of my major pills, warns of just such an effect).
The point is, I have come to fear falling (I recently fell again,
turning my cheek into a good resemblance of the Batman’s “The
Jocker”—terrifying given it happened on the same day when James Holmes,
identifying himself as The Joker, murdered 12 people in a Colorado movie theater)
—and, more importantly, I am now terrified by the effects of glass.*
Back in February of 2012, accordingly, I
wrote a poem titled “The Problem with Glass,” which I’ve reprinted below:
The Problem
with Glass
The problem
with glass
—it breaks
it striates a
wrist, the back
shattering
shards
sever almost everything in
sight.
The heart is
made up of tissue
the brain
corrugated mass.
Glass is
recomposed sand.
People who live
in stones
should not
throw ice.
February 22, 2012 (Los Angeles)
For the ordinary or even casual reader of cinema reviews, all of this
introductory information may seem entirely beside the point—and I might
agree—except that Guy Maddin’s film does not behave as an “ordinary” film
might. Maddin's movie, like its own structure, seems, at times to engulf everything,
crying out for viewer collaboration. Filmed in black-and-white, with the
slightly out-of-sync sound of films of the 1930s (the film is set in 1933
Winnipeg, Canada), using various film formats (regular, Super 8mm, Super 16mmm,
pale-blue-salmon colored two-strip Technicolor) and employing numerous
old-fashioned camera tricks (forced perspective, multiple exposures,
To say that is not to declare the director's work is unoriginal, however
one defines that. For there is perhaps no movie quite like The Saddest Music in the World, no film ever made that whole
heartedly embraces the serious musical, camp humor, melodramatic, sexual, and
just plain comic tropes that this work does.
For the fourth year a row, Winnipeg has
been named by The London Times as
"the world capital of sorrow," and Lady Helen Port-Huntley (Isabella
Rossellini), the wealthy beer heiress, is determined to raise prohibition-free
Winnipeg's beer sales by sponsoring an international contest, with a $25,000
dollar prize, to determine which country has the saddest music in the world.
He and Port-Huntley we gradually discover, have once had a relationship
or, perhaps I should say, a series of unfortunate encounters, beginning with Chester's
father Fyodor (David Fox), who, after the death of his wife, fell in love with
the young Port-Huntley. Cuckolded by his son, the former doctor grows alcoholic
and—one night while the son is driving with Port-Huntley performing fellatio
and temporarily obscuring his view—crashes into their car, pinning one of
girl's legs under the overturned vehicle. Before Chester can prevent him, the
drunken Fyodor amputates the leg in order save her; however, he saws off the
wrong one, and before the evening is over Port-Huntley is legless. Despite that
horrific event, however, the bitter Port-Huntley has still harbored deep love
for Chester, and permits him to be the US representative. Fydor, still eager to
mend his relationship with Port-Huntley, begs her to be Canada's
representative.
In a twist of the plot, Serbia's representative, the morose and
hypochondriac cellist, Gravillo the Great, is actually, so it is revealed,
Chester's brother, Roderick, whose son has died and whose wife has disappeared.
This unholy trinity duke it out in a series of contests between Mexican, Thai,
Spanish, Cameroon, Indian, Scottish and other world entries, each proclaiming
their music to be the saddest. Overseeing this absurd sequence of musical
numbers are two commentators who glibly speak of the various national types in
a manner that Fred Willard perfected in Guest's film about the National Dog
Show: "No one can beat the Siamese when it comes to dignity, cats, or
twins."
Smoking one last cigar before he goes to hell, Chester plays on the
piano perhaps the saddest song of all as the whole arena goes up in flames.
So, in the end, you see, my little poem seems appropriately
participatory in a work that has employed so many thousands of collaborating
images.
*I
had had an even more dreadful encounter with glass back in the early 1990s.
Coming home from a trip abroad, I arrived at my office to realize that I had
locked my keys away in the suitcase I had left inside. Only my assistant
editor, Diana Daves, had another set of keys, but she was not scheduled to
appear until hours later in the day. Attempting to push open a loosely locked
French door, I suddenly discovered that my left hand had gone through a glass
panel. Blood suddenly spurted out, forcing me to run to a nearby doctor's
office to have it bound up. At the hospital where they ultimately sent me, I
was told I had nearly severed my thumb which they stitched up, and had a deep
cut across my wrist. I have both of those scars still today.
Los Angeles, July 22, 2012
Reprinted from International Cinema Review (July 2012).




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