Thursday, October 2, 2025

Cameron Thrower | Pretty Boy / 2015

there’s nothing wrong with loving pumpkin

by Douglas Messerli

 

Cameron Thrower (screenplay and director) Pretty Boy / 2015

 

The price of sending a son off to a prostitute to transform him from a young budding homosexual into a strapping straight man has gone up enormously from 1999. The $30 of Gregory Cooke’s visit now runs to several hundred dollars, and if the son and the whore get hungry it costs even more; and in this case the son—evidently of a wealthy father who has sent him off to a private school where the family lives at quite a distance from cheap the motel where he, Sean James Collins (Nick Eversman), has been hooked up with the prostitute Katie Bloom (Rebekah Tripp)—is willing to pay even more if the hooker is simply willing to let him stay on without having sex.

     If Katie seems tough and even mean in the first, she, like the proverbial whore, has a heart of platinum, and when the 18-year old kid gets an opportunity to tell his story, revealing the bullying he’s been receiving at school and the verbal abuse of his well-intentioned but homophobic father (Jon Briddell), she’s willing to punish him by forcing him to sleep in the car while she and Sean sit in the bedroom celebrating his birthday with a pumpkin muffin and a long—for the film’s sake perhaps a little too long—chat about their lives.

      While we learn in Cameron Thrower’s 2015 film Pretty Boy that poor “pretty boy” Sean suffers the slings and arrows of peer mockery and the rejection—temporary we can imagine—of his father, Katie has it even harder, forced to prostitute herself to pay for her son’s upbringing by a mother who won’t even talk to her, coincidentally also on the child’s birthday, on the phone. Even shopping at the local stop-and-shop mart becomes an obstacle course of disapproving women who themselves look like rejects of whatever urban society has clawed its way to status in this suburban Los Angeles outpost.


      In order to survive, Katie has created a tough veneer of slick-backed hair, heavy lipstick, high-heeled shoes and, even more importantly, an ever-ready outsider irony she delivers like she were a campion dart player. Describing the boy’s father, Katie observes: “It must be exhausting trying to fix something that's not broken.” When she visits the father sheltered four hours in his automobile to demand the money for dinner treats, he pleading with her to help his son become a heterosexual, she snaps back: “What am I? Some fairy fucking God-hooker?”—a line that could as well have been spoken by a drag queen, dredged up from the depths of all outsider and queer sardonicism.

      At the supermarket stop she asks him to pick out a muffin, Sean choosing pumpkin, and she responding, “Do you really like pumpkin?” Sean answers, “Yes, I’ve always loved pumpkin.” If the script uses this occasion as an instance of good-will mentoring—Katie insisting that if he likes pumpkin he should never allow anyone to dissuade him or demand that he like something else—a problem from which this 31-minute short suffers overall, we also recognize that the boy needs a mother, his own having died when he was young. And there are plenty of nicely honest moments that writer/director Thrower has tossed into his script that do nothing but reveal character and help his work establish credibility.

       For example, when Sean admits that his fellow students call him names, the one they most often use, “Pretty boy,” he admits doesn’t really bother him, since his mother called him the same name. At another moment when Katie asks him the inevitable question every gay boy and man is asked again and again throughout his life (and lesbians probably as well), “When did you know you were gay?”—the equivalent of asking a prostitute how or why she became a hooker—the kid answers what so many other gay men have, “I think I’ve always known,” equivocating in way that makes perfect sense to me, “I just didn’t know what it was” [italics mine]. For the first time in my life I realized, although I’ve declared that I was so innocent I didn’t realize that I was truly gay until college, I now believe that the same was true for me. I always knew, but wasn’t able to describe it—that thing that makes you feel separated from all those around, that makes you feel so very lonely and apart from world you daily inhabit. This kid, as Katie tells the father, is lost.

      Fortunately, she helps him focus on and find a way home, in part by insisting that he kiss her—the father peeping into the room window at the very moment, smiling approvingly—as he imagines the face of a boy to whom he is attracted. And by helping him to realize just how brave he has been all his life for dodging and escaping the bullying world in which he is forced to live while returning to that battleground each morning, she does become some kind of “fairy fucking God-hooker.” If it doesn’t get said outright in this film, it’s what it says in tone and manner.

       By film’s end the boy is ready to demand his father recognize him for who he is. But Katie, whose mother won’t even let her wish happy birthday to her son, has no other recourse but the tears she sheds to help her move back to her battlefield of motel beds. She refuses her equivalent of the inflated $30 dollar’s on the boy’s pillow as he sleeps.

 

Los Angeles, September 25, 2021

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (September 2021).

 

Gregory Cooke | $30 / 1999

a trip to mars

by Douglas Messerli

 

Christopher Langdon (screenplay), Gregory Cooke (director) $30 / 1999

 

$30 begins in a dark car with neon lights reflecting upon it, as if we were about to engage with a contemporary noir. A father (Greg Itzin) and his son Scott (Erik MacArthur) sit in the front seat, the boy—seemingly having lost his ability even to speak—appears to be terrified, his dad waking him back into reality. “Scotty, you haven’t heard a word I said. ...Just a second ago you looked like NASA sent your brain to Mars.”

     The boy stutteringly demurs.

     “Quit looking so nervous. It’s not that big a deal,” pronounces his father, asking him if he still has the $30, and telling him he’ll be back in an hour to pick him up. He starts up the car and drives off.

      For a moment he have no clue about what mission his father has sent him on for that apparently terrifying sixty-minute adventure. He climbs the stairs of some unrecognizable structure and stands for a moment outside a door, attempting to regain his composure, whispering to himself “Don’t be such a pussy Scott.” He knocks.


      When he opens the door, we hear a voice “Be out in a moment,” a woman named Emily soon after appearing, switching off the television set and sitting on edge of the bed. Suddenly we are able to put the entire scene in context. The location is a motel room, and she (Sara Gilbert), evidently is a prostitute not so many years older than he is, but looking far more agèd and bedraggled, as if her profession has already worn her out. They talk for a moment, the preliminaries established, including the payment, his name, and his request that she turn off the lights. She has a couple of house rules: “There’s no biting unless it’s gentle; and there’s no really weird stuff; no anal, no rough stuff, no hitting, and..oh you can cum on my face but just watch my eyes ‘cause I just got new contacts.” So much for the illusion of romance.

       We already suspect the results. He cannot get an erection, and after a few moments of attempted sexual contact, the boy suddenly leaps up, running into the bathroom to wash his sickened face. She suggests they simply take a break and try again later, comforting him with the words that any experienced woman might: “It happens to lots of men, especially the first time.”

       A few minutes later they are standing downstairs by the motel pool, Scott drinking a soda, and explaining the circumstances, that his father has made the appointment as a birthday gift. Even the prostitute is a bit startled: “The guy who arranged this is your Dad? God, it’s kind of...pushy.” “No shit,” the kid agrees.

      Eventually returning to the room, Scott suddenly comes alive. “You must think I’m a total retard. See, the reason I couldn’t do it in there is I really, really like this girl, and it’s not you, it’s me.”

      The aware viewer almost anticipates her next question: “What’s his name?”

      The boy is taken aback. “Who?”

      “The guy you like at school.”

      After a long and awkward pause, he blurts out, “Fred. His name’s Fred,” still amazed and a bit troubled by her perspicacity.

      She pretends to have a secret radar about gay men, always being able to tell, and Scott is just still innocent enough to believe her. But in that moment alone the two hit it off and spend the rest of the hour they have left sharing conversation with one another.

       By the time he hears his father’s car returning, they have become friends of sorts. And when the “pushy father” approaches the room, the hooker begins to moan, finally Scott joining in, giving proof to the fact that they are in the midst of sensational sex. Before he leaves, she gives him a small cupcake as a birthday treat.

      When the father honks the horn, Scott leaving, Michele (which we discover is her real name) leans over the balcony, the father calling out, “Heh, how was my boy.”

       “Oh, he’s not a boy mister. He’s a man.”

        As the final few scenes shows Scott and Fred dancing on the beach at sunset, the car pulls off with the two men in it. Together Michele and Scott have pulled off a “grand deception”—grand not just because they have fooled the elder, but because Scott has fooled himself that he can keep the fact of his sexuality hidden.

        Yet, we know someday soon he will have to suffer the truth, no matter where that lands him. The writer of this work, Christopher Landon—the son of the TV Bonanza star Michael Langdon— who, when he finally revealed that he was gay, realized that given the continued homophobia in Hollywood and the film industry, he was putting his career in jeopardy. As with so many figures straight and gay who portrayed or wrote about gay characters, his then budding writing and directorial efforts temporarily suffered. As he notes, "I was the flavor of the month, and then I was quickly dismissed. I reached a point in my career when I couldn't get a meeting anywhere." But he later came back to write and direct a series of successful commercial blockbusters, including Disturbia (2007) and the found-footage films, numbers two through four of Paranormal Activity.

       The movie on the TV when Scott enters the motel room is a clip from Little House on the Prairie, one of whose leads was Melissa Gilbert, the sister of Sara, director and actor Gregory Cooke’s choice to play the prostitute in this short film.

 

Los Angeles, January 22, 2001

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog and World Cinema Review (January 2001).

 

Douglas Messerli | Grand Deceptions

grand deceptions

by Douglas Messerli

 

Over the years there have been numerous short films in which fathers or other family members, discovering that their young son or relative is gay, who have delusionally attempted to rectify the situation by taking the boy to a whorehouse and sending him off into the arms of female whore. In most of these cases the young boys have been able, with the help of the prostitutes, to delude their fathers or other relatives quite nicely, proceeding on their way to become gay boys by learning their sad lesson not to share their sexuality with family members.

    In some respects, of course, this small genre is related to other films in which family members have responded to their daughter’s and son’s expression of gay sexuality by sending him or her off to conversion centers or programs. Perhaps the most notable of the latter is Jamie Babbitt’s comic But I’m a Cheerleader, which I also discuss in this volume. Saturday Night Live similarly satirized this terrible act in their September 20, 2013 episode titled New Beginnings Summer Camp starring Ben Affleck. In Michael Guillod’s Pastel of 2020, even the conversion therapist blames the mother.

    A far more serious version of the terrorizing conversion therapies, however, is revealed in Joel Edgerton’s 2018 film, Boy Erased. Even worse, moreover, are the horrific family interventions of films such as Rodrigo Bellott’s Unicornio (Unicorn) of 2014 or the homophobic but racist personal brotherly conversion process recounted in Chadlee Skrikker’s Beyond Repair, also of 2018.


    In the films I have gathered here, however, the “conversion” therapy is relatively mild, particularly, as I have suggested, when the “solution” plays along with the suffering gay boy in providing the superficial “cure.”

     The first two, both US products, basically involve nothing more than a father arranging for his son to meet up in a motel room with a hooker, presuming that one time in the sack with a female will most certainly convince his erring son of the natural order of things. In Gregory Cooke’s $30 (1999) and Cameron Thrower’s Pretty Boy (2015), the fathers put their money on the line to prove to their boys that men were born to fuck women, not to play around with their own gender. The proof is in the pudding, so goes the idiomatic version of the proverb that "the proof of the pudding is in the eating.” It’s simply a matter of developing the taste for heterosexual sex.

     Strangely the latter two films, both made by Russian émigrés, basically argue for the same thing. The furious father of Taisia Deevva’s The Cure (2023), who has found some suspicious material in his son’s room, grabs the boy by the arm and pulls him off to the local whore house. In Denis Liakhov’s Les corneilles blanches (The White Crows) also of 2023, the hero’s brother does not know that his sibling is gay, but he is certain that it’s time for him to prove his masculinity by ridding himself of his virginity. In both of these last two cases, failure means violence or even possibly murder. We don’t know how the US fathers might react if their sons didn’t engage in sex with the women they’ve paid for, but their boys are just as terrorized as the Russian youths, all finding wonderful collaborators in the women involved.

 

Los Angeles, October 2, 2025 | Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (October 2025).

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

René Pereyra | El Angel Azul night club (The Blue Angel) / 2024

the miracle: a film of the dead—and living

by Douglas Messerli

 

René Pereyra (screenwriter and director) El Angel Azul night club (The Blue Angel) / 2024 [35 minutes]

 

Mexican director René Pereyra’s 2025 short cinema The Blue Angel calls up many previous works of cinema: according to the director himself, the work was influenced, in part, by Peter Bogdanovich’s The Last Picture Show (1971); in the work’s setting in a gay bar frequented by macho homophobes attracted by its transgender singer/dancer, it calls up another Mexican-made film, Arturo Ripstein’s A Place without Limits (1978, based on the memorable fiction by Chilean writer José Donoso, Hell Has No Limits); and in its sudden appearance of an all-leather motorcycle gang that totally transforms the experiences of the bar’s owner and beloved dancer friend it vaguely reminds one of Marlon’s Brando’s effects on a café owner and its denizens in another dying town, Wrightsville, California, in The Wild Ones (1953). This movie also vaguely hints at yet another Mexican located masterwork, Malcom Lowry’s Under the Volcano, made into a film by John Huston in 1984—although in this case, there is no “bar crawl” since this “night club” appears to be the only remaining entertainment spot in the dying town of Torres Mochas in which it exists, unless you count the prostitutes hanging out nearby on the street.

     And, of course, I’ve not even mentioned its titular flash of the 1930 Josef von Sternberg classic starring Marlene Dietrich.

     It almost comes as a surprise, accordingly, when we finally realize near film’s end that this is actually a statement not only about the gradual devolution of social and cultural experiences by a homophobic, macho culture headed up by a corrupt and hypocritical Commissar, but, in fact, is a film about a miracle with regard to AIDS.

     That this work achieves all of this in about a half hour is something near to astounding. In part, it is able become a kind of echo chamber simply because of its lack of complex plot and its preference of deeply rich cinematic images over dialogue.


    Out of the past comes a native of the village who has been gone so long that even the local doctor doesn’t remember him. Porfirio (Roberto Soto) has come home to his mother to look after her while he himself, HIV infected, faces his own death. He begs the doctor (Juan Menchaca) not to tell anyone of his condition.


   And that seems almost to be the end of that story as our hero opens up the new bar El Angel Azul, featuring his dear transgender friend Lola Lola (Maurici Abad). The place, like the town, seems almost uninhabited except for two young macho cowboys who make fun of Lola’s quite frankly terrible performance, calling her a faggot and sissy. The new owner has no choice but to immediately toss them out in a fury, they, in turn, insisting that he will regret his behavior and that they will see to the closing of the bar.

     One could almost describe that as the entire “plot,” except for a few other matters, including the closure of the only other place for communal pleasure, the town’s movie house Cinelandia, now being closed down by Virginia (Ruth Rosas) after years of existence because no one any longer attends the movies. All the men are moving to the States, she comments, leaving the town open to violence. The prostitute Isabel (Diana Salgado) argues that the movie house was the most interesting place in the town.


      But this and all the following events might almost be described as “incidents” instead of plot, embellishments which shift the perspective of this film from being a movie simply about a small dying town by presenting it as a world of the ghostly lives past and present.

      Meanwhile, two other prostitutes pay the town’s Commissar (Jorge De los Reyes) a visit to complain about the “sissy bar.” Obviously sent by their two cowboy clients, the girls suggest that their guys were afraid the faggots might rape them.

      The Commissar listens to them with patience, but also with what appears to be almost comic cynicism. Although they want him to close down the bar, he argues that it will be difficult since the bar represents “progress,” suggesting that such a place is a benefit for the town, as he basically shoves them out the door.

     He himself is on his way to The Blue Angel. He appears to be friendly with the bar’s owner, reporting what the women have filed as a complaint. Porfirio explains that the only event they have had in the bar was when two cowboys offended Lola and he sent them packing. But the commissioner, nonetheless, explains that in this small town they are simply not used to “weird” goings on.

     “What weird events, Commissar?” he demands to know.

     The commissioner leans forward and whispers, “the sissines.”

     “I think they have informed you wrong,” Porfirio asserts. “Here we are very decent people, artists.

     He suddenly declares that he has some errands to attend to, but begs the commissioner to stay, calling out Lola to perform for him.

     Delighted by Lola’s performance, the town leader whispers in his ear that he should send the other three customers away, which Lola does, permitting the Commissar to invite his little “Lolita” onto his lap for a kiss and clearly other private entertainment.


     In the very next frame, we witness a gang of leather-clad motorcyclists moving toward the village, which, we fear, represents is further vengeance from the cowboys and the town’s other homophobes.

     Meanwhile, in what almost might be described as a terrible sad interlude, we see a handsome young cowboy (Milano Velarde) standing against a wall on the street, obviously a different kind of town prostitute. Isabel walks directly up to him, announcing that she has been told that he has been hanging out in this location every night.

     The boy answers that she’s glad she now knows it, her answer being not only surprising but a bit shocking: “Mothers always know everything.”

      She believes that the closing of Cinelandia has led him to seek out company at this spot, a fact which the obviously gay son does not deny. But she is frightened for him, that he will end up just like her, picking up drunkards from the street.     


    For his part, he claims he had a very good teacher; that he has known for a long while that his mother was a whore.

    Slapping his face, she explains that she had no other choices, having been raped when she was young and becoming pregnant with him. How else was she to survive and raise him up? You have me, she argues. You can make other choices, look for a job, study, and most of all respect yourself.

“I don’t want you to be a slut. Find someone who is worth it and be happy. Accept yourself and be happy who you are…don’t make this dirty,” she implores. “I don’t care if it’s a man you’re with.” There is no answer, but at least he promises her he will think about what she has said.

     This little melodramatic intervention gives us, perhaps, a view of what the most understanding and respectable citizens of this town are all about. Torres Mochas* is not only a hell-hole but is something very close to actually being hell.


   We now return to Porfirio, dressed this evening in drag with a cigarette at the end of a ridiculously long quellazaire. The head of the motorcycle gang drives up, “she” asking him for a light. The gang leader (Marcus Ornellas) explains that the name of the place caught his attention, particularly since his name is Ángel.

     Our friend invites him to see the place, to which the traveler immediately takes a liking, recognizing the bar photos of James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, and in particular Marlon Brando. When he asks why the barkeeper is dressed up like a woman, Porfirio explains that it is in homage to his mother, who recently died. She very much liked the movie, La Mujer del Puerto (the last movie showing at Cinelandia), and she would dress up like Andrea Palma, and act like her, pointing to the dress he’s wearing, “this was her dress.”**

   When Ángel asks who as Andrea Palma, Porfirio laughs, explaining that she was a very famous Mexican movie star, but first she was the personal assistant to Marlene Dietrich. So does that 1930 movie now circle back to the name of the bar, resonating with its friendly new guest’s name as well.

    Our friend turns the tables somewhat, asking what brings Ángel to his door in Torre Mochas; this town has nothing to offer; it is dead he explains. “Like me,” answers Ángel, reaching over for a moment to hold the barkeeper’s hand. Our hero shakes his head a bit in wonderment: “I feel like we’ve known each other for a long time.” He feels so free to speak, so confident of the newcomer that for the first time Porfirio tells him that he is HIV-positive and that the medications are not working.

     Finally, he offers Ángel a drink. They toast.


    In short, we have now discovered what we have perceived as a threat to be a friendly force. Ángel’s gang are not among the enemies but have shown themselves as friends.

     Immediately after, however, we are privy to further ancillary events of hate and revenge. A woman has obviously been forced to leave her home, walking the streets with her heavy suitcase. The Commissar and two of his men wait in a SUV to beat up Lola as he returns home.

      We observe gangs of individuals hurling rocks at El Angel Azul, finally someone putting a tape across the door so that no one can enter.

      Porfirio attempts to talk to the Commissar who no longer recognizes even his own signed documents, proclaiming that the bar’s owner took advantage of the agreement by bringing to town all that “faggot” stuff which is not permissible in his Torre Mochas, he shouts.

      Citing the fact that Lola was beaten, Porfirio argues that the events have all been acts of homophobia. But the commissioner will not be moved. All Porfirio can do is beg to be allowed to enter the bar just to gather their possessions. As they leave the room, Lola turns and calls the Commissar a faggot.

      The camera pans the empty streets of Torre Mochas as Ángel and his gang come riding into town, parking their bikes outside the former Angel Azul. Ángel explains that he and his partners have come to town just to say goodbye.

      Porfirio is happy to see him and saddened that he won’t be able to maintain their friendship. But Ángel suggests perhaps destiny will bring to together again. Porfirio reminds him that he is ill and that he will soon die, yet oddly Ángel tells him that he is not at all sick, that he is cured.

      Porfirio tells Lola to go home and pack while he goes to the clinic to get his medicines and check up on his condition. There is discovers that a miracle has indeed occurred, there is no longer any sign of the virus in his body. He has been cured.

      The bartender rushes to Lola with the news and suddenly in a celebratory chorus the film presents us with a short visual necrology of famed figures who died of AIDS, a rush of numerous sad images that stand in counterpoint to Porfirio’s miracle. Here we truly do see the ghosts of the past which the movie has been hinting as if suddenly it were a reckoning like the “day of the dead,” theDía de los Muertos” observed in Mexico when the souls of their deceased relatives return for a brief reunion that includes food, drink and joyful celebration.


      In the last frames of the film, we watch as the two, Porfirio and Lola throw their last packed boxes in the truck of their pickup. They get in and begin to drive off down the street on their way to an unknown future, but suddenly, in a scene that is the complete reverse of Thelma and Louise’s final expression of goodbye as they drive over the edge the Grand Canyon in the 1991 film, the truck backs up, returning to the very spot where it began.

      The two get out of the vehicle, Porfirio declaring, “We’ll stay here.”


      Hate and intimidation have failed.

     This is a truly remarkable short film just for all the cinema, literary, and cultural touchpoints it brings together in what adds up to be a statement of redemption for all those who died of the AIDS, so very many of them queer.

     Before the credits role, the film announces, what I have done several times before in the close my essays, the current sad statistics concerning the AIDS epidemic: “AIDS has killed more than 40 million people since 1981. In that first decade, the disease mean a social stigma and a death sentence. Currently 39 million people live with HIV; and 6,300 people are infected daily. 40% are young people between 15 and 24 years old.”

 

 *Torre Mochas translates literally into Mocha Tower, almost as if the village where a city of coffee. But the word “mocha,” the source of the famous Arabian coffee blend comes from Hebrew meaning “crushed” or “squeezed,” which quite readily explains the condition of this town’s citizens.

 

**That film, now a classic of Mexican cinema, has the following plot: “Rosario, a young peasant girl, gives herself to her boyfriend out of love, unaware that he's cheating on her with another woman. Disappointment and grief over her father's death force the young woman to flee to Veracruz and become a prostitute. One night, Rosario meets Alberto, a sailor with whom she falls in love. After spending a night of love together, fate reveals a cruel surprise.”

   The surprise is that Alberto, she discovers, is her brother. When she discovers that fact, she leaves the cabaret where she works and visits the wharf. Alberto goes looking for her, only to discover her shawl floating in the water, suggesting that she has dived in and has drowned. The plot was based on a story by French author Guy de Maupassant, but the director, Arcady Boytler, was born in Russia, and claimed that Eisenstein’s visit to Mexico a few years earlier had made him want to take on subjects previously not dealt with in Mexican film with the goal of creating a higher and more modern art form.

 

Los Angeles, October 1, 2025

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (October 2025).

 

Don Scardino | Advice from a Caterpillar / 1999

straight through the heart

by Douglas Messerli

 

Douglas Carter Beane (screenplay, based on his stage play), Don Scardino (director) Advice from a Caterpillar / 1999

 

As a self-defined bisexual rom-com, Don Scardino’s Advice from a Caterpillar, with a screenplay by playwright Douglas Carter Beane, was clearly determined from the very beginning to pull in every cliché from the genre it could manage, mentioning numerous popular culture references along with easily assimilable literary reference such as Alice in Wonderland, Thomas Hardy, etc. And just to make sure you knew it was truly and intentionally cute, the director demanded the costume designer come up with the very unfashionable and awkward attire possibly imaginable, particularly for leads Spaz (Andy Dick) and Missy (Cynthia Nixon). To demonstrate that this film was also just a little hip, Missy is cast as a video artist and Spaz as a gay performance artist now become a caterer just to survive—but don’t worry, he features all of the good old treats your mother used to cook up like fried bologna sandwiches, tuna casserole, and Campbell Mushroom soup with green beans topped by Durkee onion rings (or something close to it), now all making a comeback evidently at sheik gallery openings and even at an opening at BAM (the Brooklyn Academy of Music, for those not in the know).


      To make things even easier, each character is assigned a significant sexuality. Missy is a straight female who wants no strings attached, which means of course, at heart she’s a sentimentalist who can’t wait to find Mr. Right.

       Spaz, her gay best friend and confidant—don’t all gay men have a female bestie which used to be called, now obviously inappropriate to even mention (a “faghag!”; there! I’ve gone and said it)—who’s always witty and totally cynical, although we really know he wants a permanent boyfriend just like everyone else in this film except he’s simply not as cute as he used to be and god knows where he’ll find someone who wants more than a couple of rolls in bed with him.


       Suit, apply named, is the straight guy, a good-looking banker of course, who in this case isn’t “evil,” as Missy points out, even though he’s cheating on his wife; but she’s a suit as well, a real mean bitch, so it’s okay. Missy enjoys fucking him because it’s easy and fun.

       And then, just to spice things up and confuse everybody since nobody really knows what a bisexual is, there’s a self-admitted bisexual would-be actor named Brat (Timothy Olyphant)—what a lovely nickname—who somehow Spaz got into his bed, but is so cute we just know that by the end of the film he and Missy will discover they’re perfect for one another, although understandably she’s still a little afraid that someday he just might run off with a man; after all, isn’t what bisexuals do, spend their lives coasting from one sex to another?



      Of course, when you’ve got such a total core sample of the sexual possibilities—this film was long before transgenderism became popular—you’ve got to find a way to get all these folks together in one house to show off their differences and their abilities to all get along together. Conveniently, Suit has an up-state New York lodge on a lake and since his wife and daughter have just flown off to Paris….well.

      But even before that, the writer and director have to find a way to get the straight girl and the good-looking bisexual boy together so they can fall in love. I can almost hear them saying, “I’ve got an idea, let’s put them in a back room with big old parachute-like piece of fabric so that they flap it up and down and run fast under it to get to the other side!” One critic, named Heather from Mutant Reviewers claimed that she used to do that in elementary P.E. classes. It was so much fun!

      Of course, it just happens that both Missy and Brat are also diehard fans of 1970s TV sit-com trivia, you know, like One Day at a Time (1975-1984) with Ann Romano (Bonnie Franklin) and her daughters played by Valerie Bertinelli and Mackenzie Phillips, and the kooky janitor Dwayne (Pat Harrington Jr.). Boy do they have fun listing the actors and credits of those old TV shows! Sad to say, I do remember that series, and regularly watched it.

      Just as important, the author and director needed to find a way that Spaz would give his permission for Brat and Missy to get together, and yet not be too terribly hurt by their having fallen in love. But just to show he really did care some, they let him jump into a lake without knowing how to swim, which allows Brat to show off his life-saving talents, and gives the opportunity for Suit to put his mouth, for the necessary life resuscitation, over and over on a gay boy’s lips. Ha-ha, they sure tricked him!


      As in most rom-coms, the loving couple, however, just can’t come to terms with what they really know they want. The answer is to have them play it out in a diner in full voice, you know like in Nora Ephron’s When Harry Met Sally (1989) when she demonstrates in a deli how women pretend to have an orgasm, but in this case arguing about love and admitting their dilemmas, with Spaz accompanying them, so that it involves all the upstate bumpkins who turn out be just as fascinated by their sexual differences as we are, the black waitress high-fiving her fellow gay Spaz and the busboy taking more than a casual interest in the fact that he’s actually got an openly gay man sitting in front of him.


     All the others, young and old, sit with baited breaths to find out what is going to happen to this straight video artist and her hunky bisexual beau. Will he promise to go straight till death do them part? Can he convince her to give up her career, at least superficially since she claims that having fallen in love with him she can no longer do her nasty satiric videos about family life? And lord knows what they’ll do for money, although she lives in a lower Manhattan loft so large that we just know in a couple of years it will be able to sell for several million! As he makes clear, their role as rom-com heroes, after all, is simply to hug one another close for the rest of their lives. The people in the diner sure got their meal’s worth as Missy and Brat speed off on his motorbike, and Spaz comes out followed by the busboy, Spaz now probably intending to spend a little more time in the Adirondacks or wherever Suit’s lake cottage sits before he drives Missy’s maroon-colored rental car back to New York City. As Heather summarizes: “This is a cute little romantic comedy.” Better cross it off your serious LGBTQ+ list.

 

Los Angeles, September 25, 2023

Reprinted from World Cinema Review (September 2023).

  

Index R-Z

Angelo Raaijmakers I, Adonis / 2021 Peeter Rabane Firebird / 2021   Tyler Rabinowitz Catalina / 2022 Tyler Rabinowitz See You Soon / 20...