Matti Harju | Mies etsii miestä (Man Seeking Man) / 2004

a most unexpected visit

by Douglas Messerli

 

Matti Harju (screenwriter and director) Mies etsii miestä (Man Seeking Man) / 2004 [12 minutes]

 

Seppo (Asko Sahlman), a rather dour Finnish man, begins this movie by placing an ad in a “Men Seeking Men” notice in a local newspaper: “a nice-looking inexperienced man of 50” seeking men over twenty. He notes he has his own place.

     Unknown to him, his 25-year old son Kale (Jussi Lehtonen), who has not seen his father in 20 years, is at that very moment on a train to visit his estranged father, checking in with his mother if the address is has for his father is the correct one.

     Meanwhile Seppo cleans ups (if you can putting the dirty dishes in the sink a cleaning up) and redressing for his hopeful meeting with another man, Tero (Markus Karekallas) at 3:00 p.m.

     A disaster is in the wings, as we well know. He opens the door to his son, only to say “Hi” and “Come in,” the son surprised by what seems to be recognized greeting.

     Removing his backpack, Kale wonders if he might make a sandwich—after all, he just traveled a long distance.

     They sit across the kitchen table I silence, Kale finally asking if Seppo knows who he is. “Well…yes I do,” Seppo answers, obviously believing him to be Tero.

     “What would you like to do?” he asks the man he believes to be his new sexual partner.

     Kale answers, “talk,” to which Seppo totally agrees.

     Suddenly, the bread pops out of the toaster to the floor, at least easing the tension between them, as Kale laughs. In the next moment, the son lunges after his father, deeply hugging him, the two embracing one another. But Kale is immediately confused when his father lowers his hand gestures to include his buttocks. He pulls away, seriously troubled by the act.

     Seppo sits down for another smoke. Then suddenly rises and seems to disappear in his bedroom, he angry for his quick sexual actions and his inexperience in the situation.

     While, Kale takes a drink directly from the water faucet and begins to eat the toast, Seppo begins to strip off his clothes and appears from the bedroom completely naked.

    With his back still to him, Kale asks a question, that of course, Seppo completely miscomprehends: “How do you know what I look like?”

     “I guessed.”

     Kale is amazed, “You guessed?”

   Approaching from the back, Seppo puts his hand tenderly on the top of Kale’s head and gently massages his upper neck. Kale, suddenly turning about, is absolutely startled by the sight of his naked father.

   Seppo quickly runs off, back to his bedroom, himself startled by the turn of events. As Seppo redresses, Kale attempts to make sense of the absurd and terrifying events.

      A ring of his doorbell brings Seppo to open it finding a man standing before him identifying as Tero. Seppo looks back into the room, confused and totally shocked by the event, slamming the door in Tero’s face. Even more ashamed than previously, he slams his fists into the wall, without even imagining how to proceed.

   Back in the kitchen, Kale finds his father’s note about the meeting with Kero, and perceives the situation.

    He returns finally to confront his son: “What do you want? I don’t have money.”

    Kale grabs up his backpack and walks out.

   Seppo sits in desolation as the camera pans to a childhood drawing by Kale hanging on his wall, “Kale, 4 years old.”

      Seppo’s loneliness will never come to a significant end, nor, for that matter, Kale’s.

      In the end, despite the seeming farcical situation of this film, this is a true tear-jerker, with both men, young and old, not able to resolve their life-time differences. Perhaps this moving short film reveals what we all know: not only can you not go back in time, but the hurts done by your father and mother, no matter how unintentional, remain; they never quite go away even if they should be totally forgiven.

 

Los Angeles, November 17, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2026).

Bryan Horch | Spooners / 2013

the embarrassments of shopping for a mattress

by Douglas Messerli

 

Bryan Horch (screenwriter and director) Spooners / 2013 [14 minutes]

 

In this fairly clunky satire of the new openness of gay acceptance, a rather conservative and definitely not public gay man Nelson (Walter Replogle), unable to get a good night’s sleep on the childhood futon of his husband’s, Corey (Ben Lerman), convinces him, despite Corey’s insistence of keeping all treasures from his youth, that they need a new mattress.

     Corey argues that the stain in his mattress resembles either Christ or Che Guevara, he can’t figure out which. Nelson suggests that he’ll just shop for a new mattress during his lunch hour, but Corey wants a decision in the matter as well, and quickly sees that Nelson is afraid to be seen in public checking out mattresses with his own husband. They agree on an afterwork get together at Drowzy’s Mattress World.

     As usual Corey is late, as Nelson is quickly scooped up into the hands of salesman who quickly shuffles him off to their new Smart Bed, which is high-tech and user-friendly. The salesman suggests it “analyzes your bed habits.”

  So begins a series of public events that completely startle and terrorize the still slightly closeted Nelson, who is also more than a little embarrassed perhaps for his overweight, cuddly husband. Indeed, it is hard to imagine a more unlikely pair unless we turn our eyes back to Laurel and Hardy.

    By pushing the button the screen on the head of bed turns on declaring, in a giggly voice (Shawn Maroney): “I’m here to help you find a mattress that’s juuust right.”

    Next it wants to know if he is a male, female, or other. Nelson dares to push the male option.

    “Do you have a sleeping partner?” the nosy mattress asks.

    When Nelson dares to push yes, the mattress screen announces: “Your default sleeping partner is a female. Is this correct?”

     Nelson is about to answer “Yes” just to no longer further engage the talking bed, but at that moment a couple, holding up a child, ask the salesmen if he has waterproof sleeping beds. “Of course, for the little one.” No, insists the frustrated wife: “We’re going to need queen size,” suggesting that perhaps the entire family has bed-wetting issues.

     With the salesman’s attention momentarily attracted elsewhere, Nelson dares push the true button, “No,” which forces the mattress screen to update sexual preferences.  

     Within seconds the screen is now flashing up pictures of Nelson himself, crying out “You are a male customer with a male sleeping partner!” Showing a dancing figure on the screen, now with Nelson’s head, the salesman loudly shouting out “Awesome, what’s his name?”

     By this time a huge crowd as gathered as the salesman shares the news, “Ladies and gentlemen, his sleeping partner is Corey.”

     In support of equality the mattress screen announces: “Congratulations Miss Thing. You’re the first hom-mo-sexual customer at this franchise! You will receive 25% off your purchase.”

    By this time, obviously, Nelson is beyond embarrassment, but simply stunned and overwhelmed by the intrusions into his private life. The screen, showing a beefy muscle-bound stud demands to know “What’s his body type as listed on your Manhunt profile?”

    Nelson hasn’t even a clue of what Manhunt is. Strangely, a man (Richard Ballon), standing next to what appears to be his wife, campily expresses his frustration with an “Oh, please.”

      The screen gives Nelson several options: “Muscle queen, twink, troll, bear, club, or otter?”

      One straight woman wants to know “What’s with all the animals?”

      A seemingly knowledgeable older woman haughtily explains: “The gay culture finds affinity with various archetypes—most are woodland creatures.”

      The wife of the over-aware young man, observes “That’s so spiritual.”

      Nelson how has no choice but to play on with the endless questions, and carefully reaches out his hand to press a button: the strange reaction from the screen is “Wolf! When you practice S&M are you dominant or submissive?”

       “Where’s the “no applicable” button?”

       The salesman insists there are only two options.

       Nelson realizes now that he has entered into a world from which there is no turning back, deciding that he is dominant, the sleep bed screen, being very intuitive argues the salesman, however decides that he is submissive.

       One politically correct woman comments: “I had him pegged for a power-bottom.”

       Now the bed insists he assume the spooner position on the bed with his sleeping partner.

       “But he’s not here yet.”

     The salesman asks if he is about the right size, Nelson, frustrated beyond his limits by this time, states “Not at all.”

       He argues that he doesn’t need a complete sleep analysis. “I just came her to buy a L

       He moves over to another bed, “Like this one.” The screen now announces that Drowzy’s can make it more affordable with now a 50% discount, if only he completes is smart bed evaluation.

     Suddenly, the woman with the man who knows all about Manhunt, pushes her own husband forward, asking if he’s his partner’s size. Nelson has to replay “No,” but does apologize. He is, after all, a rather cute guy.

     Up steps Lorenzo (Nathan Tetreault), another clerk we’ve spotted earlier in the previous scenes, a beautiful, well-muscled and taller hunk, who, in my day, I’d gladly have spooned with any day or night, in public or private.

     Suddenly, the now very-late Corey runs into the store, but stops first to check out whether the oranges and bananas in a display are real or fake.

        The handsome salesman, meanwhile, takes a mint and offers one to Nelson, who demurs. Nelson’s own salesman virtually rips off Nelson’s sports coat, as he prepares to get into position in the bed.

        Corey meanwhile is sitting in a lean-back chair, another overweight female salesperson explaining its benefits to him.

      The hunky salesman pats the bed for Nelson to join him and the bed itself commands he please mount it. His audience is not getting impatient. And finally, Nelson gets into bed at the very moment with Corey actually shows up, wondering what in hell is husband is doing.

        Nelson announces his real sleeping partner as the audience claps, Corey is confusion, whispering questions, joins him, Nelson telling him to not ask questions. The customers, delighted, snap photoshoots. And finally Nelson and Corey have a nice new mattress.

        The addendum makes little sense, as Nelson awakens one morning to find Corey, having retrieved his ukulele, singing a Spanish song, “De colores,” as he pays his respects to his beloved, stained futon. His lyrics make little sense, but so to does this final but nonetheless somewhat charming ending.

        The only person I know to write a longer story about purchasing a new mattress was poet David Antin. 

         In 2015, evidently, director Bryan Horch was able to convince TV producers to run an entire series of short films centered around the odd pair. It can’t have been that funny, but I will check it out.

 

Los Angeles, November 7, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2026).