Matti Harju | Mies etsii miestä (Man Seeking Man) / 2004

a most unexpected visit

by Douglas Messerli

 

Matti Harju (screenwriter and director) Mies etsii miestä (Man Seeking Man) / 2004 [12 minutes]

 

Seppo (Asko Sahlman), a rather dour Finnish man, begins this movie by placing an ad in a “Men Seeking Men” notice in a local newspaper: “a nice-looking inexperienced man of 50” seeking men over twenty. He notes he has his own place.

     Unknown to him, his 25-year old son Kale (Jussi Lehtonen), who has not seen his father in 20 years, is at that very moment on a train to visit his estranged father, checking in with his mother if the address is has for his father is the correct one.

     Meanwhile Seppo cleans ups (if you can putting the dirty dishes in the sink a cleaning up) and redressing for his hopeful meeting with another man, Tero (Markus Karekallas) at 3:00 p.m.

     A disaster is in the wings, as we well know. He opens the door to his son, only to say “Hi” and “Come in,” the son surprised by what seems to be recognized greeting.

     Removing his backpack, Kale wonders if he might make a sandwich—after all, he just traveled a long distance.

     They sit across the kitchen table I silence, Kale finally asking if Seppo knows who he is. “Well…yes I do,” Seppo answers, obviously believing him to be Tero.

     “What would you like to do?” he asks the man he believes to be his new sexual partner.

     Kale answers, “talk,” to which Seppo totally agrees.

     Suddenly, the bread pops out of the toaster to the floor, at least easing the tension between them, as Kale laughs. In the next moment, the son lunges after his father, deeply hugging him, the two embracing one another. But Kale is immediately confused when his father lowers his hand gestures to include his buttocks. He pulls away, seriously troubled by the act.

     Seppo sits down for another smoke. Then suddenly rises and seems to disappear in his bedroom, he angry for his quick sexual actions and his inexperience in the situation.

     While, Kale takes a drink directly from the water faucet and begins to eat the toast, Seppo begins to strip off his clothes and appears from the bedroom completely naked.

    With his back still to him, Kale asks a question, that of course, Seppo completely miscomprehends: “How do you know what I look like?”

     “I guessed.”

     Kale is amazed, “You guessed?”

   Approaching from the back, Seppo puts his hand tenderly on the top of Kale’s head and gently massages his upper neck. Kale, suddenly turning about, is absolutely startled by the sight of his naked father.

   Seppo quickly runs off, back to his bedroom, himself startled by the turn of events. As Seppo redresses, Kale attempts to make sense of the absurd and terrifying events.

      A ring of his doorbell brings Seppo to open it finding a man standing before him identifying as Tero. Seppo looks back into the room, confused and totally shocked by the event, slamming the door in Tero’s face. Even more ashamed than previously, he slams his fists into the wall, without even imagining how to proceed.

   Back in the kitchen, Kale finds his father’s note about the meeting with Kero, and perceives the situation.

    He returns finally to confront his son: “What do you want? I don’t have money.”

    Kale grabs up his backpack and walks out.

   Seppo sits in desolation as the camera pans to a childhood drawing by Kale hanging on his wall, “Kale, 4 years old.”

      Seppo’s loneliness will never come to a significant end, nor, for that matter, Kale’s.

      In the end, despite the seeming farcical situation of this film, this is a true tear-jerker, with both men, young and old, not able to resolve their life-time differences. Perhaps this moving short film reveals what we all know: not only can you not go back in time, but the hurts done by your father and mother, no matter how unintentional, remain; they never quite go away even if they should be totally forgiven.

 

Los Angeles, November 17, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2026).