Carlos Ocho | Relación abierta (Open Relationship) 2014

openly closed

by Douglas Messerli

 

Carlos Ocho (screenwriter and director) Relación abierta (Open Relationship) 2014 [14 minutes]

 

Óscar (Eudald Font) and Sergio (Christian Escudero) have been in a gay relationship, happily together so it appears, for 5 years. But they are of quite different sensibilities, Óscar being a far more impetus and emotional person, while it’s quite clear that Sergio offers a far more intellectual and mentoring role in their relationship.

    One afternoon Óscar returns home, telling his love that he loves him, but then making a possible proposal or, perhaps, one might say floating an idea before him: He might like a so-called “open relationship.”

   He argues that he loves Sergio and would not leave him for anything in the world, but, well, “sometimes I feel I would like to have sex with other people.”

     “What? You don’t like having sex with me,” Sergio queries him.

     No, he loves having sex with Sergio, suggesting they together explore a lot of new territory.

“But sometimes,” he admits, “I feel like I would enjoy touching other bodies and kissing other lips, and trying something new with others.”

     “But it would be just sex,” he assures Sergio, “nothing more.”

     Sergio wonders whether sex between is not working for him, but Óscar denies it suggesting that it may just want “more sex and with other people.”

      “What’s wrong with the sex we have that makes you feel you need to have sex with other people?” asks Sergio.

       Óscar admits they have plenty of sex and he enjoys it, but “I guess sometimes we fall into routine.” With others perhaps we will discover new things.

       Sergio throws a pillow at him, gets up and says, “Go to Hell.”

     They face one another again in the bedroom, Óscar assuring him that it is just and idea, and it he doesn’t like it, “we leave it here, topic closed.”

     Now Sergio gets down to the brass tacks. If they have an open relationship, what kind of relationship would it be? For example, would it tell him about the other relationships or “do you prefer to keep it secret and feel free to do whatever we want?” Notice the shift to “we.”

       “Can we have sex with the same person more than once?”

       “Well…you know it’s not that we’re checking on each other all day, but…I guess that jealousy will be something new between us.”

       Sergio concludes that telling who they are meeting with is apparently not appropriate.

       But it is important to know where you are, Óscar concedes, just in case something happens to you.

     “Well, I’m not 15 anymore,” Sergio comes back. And then you want me to tell you if I have an appointment to fuck another guy, just so you know, like Ruben and Marcos.”

       Sergio asks, moreover, about threesomes. Are they allowed?

       But by this time Óscar is already getting a bit overwhelmed. “I’d rather be with just one person now and then.” And he realizes that perhaps it is best if he tells him if he’s with someone else, although there is no need to tell him how it went.

       Okay, good, Sergio concludes.

       “Are you getting interested?” wonders Óscar.

      Sergio admits that perhaps it is sounding more interesting, but he has yet further questions, Óscar declaring that it’s not necessary “to make a rules book.”

    “I assume without asking that I can meet with others without saying anything,” suggests Sergio.

Or should I tell you some details beforehand.

     “I mean, if it’s open, we have to feel free to go by…”

     Yet, Sergio points out that he hasn’t quite expressed that free attitude in his conversations so far.

      Again, argues that “threesomes” were not in his original proposal. Why all this discussion about threesomes?

      Sergio wonders when they are speaking about other people it is just to have sex? What about other kinds of relationships, his question insinuates.

       “But let’s not meet the same person twice in one week,” suggests Óscar.

       “Would you be jealous if I get to meet the same person twice in a week?”

      “No,” concludes Óscar, “but hey, there are a lot of men to choose, and you would want to choose the same one?”

      Although it’s clear that Óscar would prefer constant change, Sergio argues that perhaps he would not. “Well, then, can we repeat or not?”

       “No,” Óscar decides.

     “Let’s see…This looks more like a fling where you are informed on who I fuck with and not an exercise of freedom and confidence between each other.” A relationship “openly closed,” he summarizes.

    Óscar admits that perhaps he hasn’t thought very carefully about it. He’s beginning to feel overwhelmed, in fact, by all his lover’s “stupid” questions. This should be easier, he argues.

        “Well, if you don’t want to talk anymore and you think you have enough information…Let’s try it then,” Sergio proposes.

        Is that a yes.

       The logical Sergio suggests: “Let’s try: and I’ll stock with the idea that I can fuck others if I want…But I cannot repeat with anyone.”

        OK. Sergio quickly kisses Óscar, “I’ll make dinner.”

        As Sergio begins cutting up the carrots, potatoes, and zucchini for dinner, Óscar enters, hugging him, suggesting that he is still pondering some of he questions. Sergio simply asks him whether he prefers Catalan sausage or normal sausage with the vegetables.

        He now grants, since Sergio is fixated on threesomes, that perhaps he should permit that possibility in his relationships. But Sergio admits that he hasn’t really thought about the possibility, but only as a propositions of “if it’s only once, you can, right”

         But again, Óscar declares, “No.” “Because it would bother me.”

         Sergio cannot comprehend the problem, arguing “Isn’t it the same to have to different guys in one night as to have them in one month?”

         “No, it’s not the same,” argues Óscar.

         Only two minutes ago, Óscar has argued that he didn’t want any more rules or codes, but he now, contradictorily, is making another exclusionary clause. Of course, the point is, that both men, if they were to have such an “open relationship,” would have a great many things with which they are most uncomfortable. And that is, in part, the purpose of Sergio’s serious questioning.

      What this Spanish dialogue drama presents us with, obviously, are the kinds of questions and problems that come with any such proposal, which I am sure a great many married same-sex male and female couples or those in long-term relationships may feel. Change, alteration, freedom is always desirable and tempting. My husband Howard and I surely negotiated such problems in our most active sexual years. But Ocho’s film ultimately seems a bit glib in its solution, with the confused and tired Óscar simply abandoning his suggestion.

     Yet at least this film thoroughly confronts some of the problems inherent in what some couples blithely describe as their “open relationships.” They are perhaps even more difficult to maintain, I might argue, than are those of monogamous commitment, with occasional allowances and exceptions, including threesomes.

 

Los Angeles, August 18, 2026

Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (August 2026).